Adam H.
Your weight loss =
1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony
You know you've had WLS when:
-"I have a date" doesn't mean you are going out.
- "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
- "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have died.
- You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rug Rats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma.
- When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!!
- When it's not Vikings vs. Bears but lap vs. open!
- When "No, I couldn't eat another bite" really has a deeper meaning!
- When you have to prove you are you on your license!
- When Saying you're "open" doesn't mean your gay!
- When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least you are running!
- Vitamins and calcium feel like a meal.
- You've lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says, "Did you change your hair?"
- When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs.
- When you walk by a mirror and say to yourself "Who is that?"
- When the Sharpei you pass on the street reminds you of someone you know....Yourself!!
- When your hand will fit in the Pringles can again, but you don't want any.
- When the thought of an "all you can eat" buffet makes you want to throw up!
- No more cracked toilet seats!
- When your spandex shorts are used for "jogging," and not merely used as an anti-chaffing device.
- People who know you are concerned that you are working out too much.
- Running into old flames, and saying "Do I know you?"
- You look forward to flirting with the new cute phlebotomist at your doctor's office.
- You turn on the morning show just to see Al Roker!
- You are actually bold enough to not only admit your weight, but post it on the internet!
- When you call Casual Male and cancel your credit card.
- You have to start putting your name in your underwear again because you get them mixed up with your kids.
- People stop asking you to bring something to the pot lucks because they know you will only bring a salad.
- When you spend more time reading product labels for protein and carb content than you do reading any books.
