Chelea Holdt
Journal
Jun 29, 2009
For exercise I am starting with walking. My mother is coming up to be with me for a week because I am not able to bend over and pick anything up, not able to use my abdominal muscles. I have been planning places to walk around Portland. We both love Nurseries, so I thought maybe walking to 7 D’s on Powell or going to some of the Nurseries and just walking around them. Taking a walk down to the park by my house, over to Trader Joes and to Bi-Mart. Driving downtown and walking around the shops, the Park blocks, maybe Saturday Market. There is also the option to park by OMSI and walking along the river. There are a lot of things we could do to get exercise. I will have to hold off on my Wii until I am cleared to use my stomach muscles.
3/19/09 On the day of my surgery I weighed 247 lbs. The surgery was a great success. I woke up in recovery feeling great and oddly optimistic. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining in my window. They had me in recovery for quite a while until they could find a room. I received a private room in the maternity wing; I guess there were not enough babies being born that day. That very same evening I asked my husband to help me get up and take a walk. We walked around the unit for about 15 minutes. It felt good to get up and walk. The pain was manageable and controlled by morphine. It does not even equal the pain that I had when I had my hip surgery and broken leg. At no time was I ever really in any pain, just discomfort. I called several friend and co- workers the day of my surgery to let them know that I was ok. They laughed and asked me if I would remember the conversation the next once the morphine had worn off. I was prepared to go home the next day. As soon as the fellow showed up in my room I asked, I was optimistic that I would be able to go home. They finally told me about 5 PM that I would be staying another day. I was very put off when I found out. Even on reflection there was no reason beside the hospitals need for the money another day would get them from my insurance. I would have received great care from my husband and have slept a lot better at home. Everyone who visited me was amazed by my recovery. The OT and PT were amazed that I had been walking since the day before and standing on my own when they came to visit. I wish I had had my pedometer with me, I am sure I walk at least a mile in those hallways. I could not wait to get out of the hospital. I was sent home with all the prescriptions (pain killer, acid reducer, gallstone preventer, etc.)
It felt so great to be home. I was so happy to see my puppy Bree. My mom came that same day to take care of me. I did not need a lot taking care of but it was nice to have her around for the support and company. We went walking every day, did scrapbooking and some shopping. It was really nice to have that time with her. She did have to, on my second day home; tell me I needed a nap. I had worn myself out. I took a nap and woke up feeling a lot better. I returned to work a week after my surgery. At one week out I had lost 10 lbs. Everyone was amazed at how well I looked for having surgery just a week prior. I still felt really good and as a co-worker mentioned I am still waiting for the morphine honeymoon to end. I still feel really good and have not had any of the vomiting or dumping. The most discomfort I have is gas from eating. When it happens I just stand up and walk around until it passes. I was able to walk two flights of stairs without feeling winded at all.
Someone asked how I was feeling internally. I said “I am really amazed at how well I do feel. I have no hunger, craving or as if I am being denied anything. I really do not even think about food. I eat what I have to. I feel lighter inside but they did not remove anything. Things just go right through me. I feel healthier and my BP is down to normal without medication.” I am not waiting for the other shoe to drop but can’t really believe it is this easy. I am sure I will come to a point where I have food cravings and a need to eat things. Not basing activities around food is different. I hope my husband is able to benefit from this life change. He has wanted to lose weight also. He has been on several of my walks with me. He just now has to refrain from late night eating and snacking.
3/23/09 As of today I have lost 15 lbs. I am down a size in pants and almost two. I was able to get into some of those pants I never thought I would be able to get into again. It feels great. I have been walking and doing Wii for exercise. This past weekend I went to Goodwill with my mother-in-law and picked up some new clothes. I even purchased some hopeful pants. If I am never able to I can give them to my sister but it is something to work toward.
As I said last week I do not have any cravings and am not really ever hungry. That is not saying I do not have thoughts of food but it is much easier to control. I have not had any throwing up or dumping. I have overestimated a couple of times how much I could drink or fit in my stomach. When that has happened I just walk or bounce to make myself burp. It is not a pain but pressure in your chest and it only last about a minute. I have done it taking pills and drinking water.
I have consistently been able to get down the 64 oz/day of water. Water is generally the last thing I am drinking at the end of my day. I have also been able to get in at least 100 g of protein a day. I drink a mixture of Kefir, Fage and Unjury, Vanilla Protein Powder. It is about 17g of protein for a 4 oz container and I generally drink about 6 of those a day. I do mix it up a bit with the chicken flavored protein powder.
3/24/09 Yesterday was not a good day in that I thought about different types of food all day. I was not hungry I just kept thinking “I wish I could eat…..a roast beef sandwich, Thai soup, hot dogs, sushi, etc” You name it I wanted to eat it or just taste it :o( I am hoping to overcome this urge and control these urges later when I can eat normally.
3/25/09 Today is my 2 week post op and I am down 19 lbs from my op day weight of 247. This is very exciting. I have gone from a size 24 pants to just fitting into a size 20.
I wear my pedometer daily and have set daily goal of:
7000 steps
2000 aerobic steps
300 walking calories
2.21 miles walked
20g of fat
which I track on my computer. I am able to download the information from my pedometer to my computer and then track it on my Omron Health Management Software. I am going to continue with my current goals for a week then I will up them.
4/9/09 This weekend I picked up a pair of shorts that I was wearing the day I met Mark. I thought what the hell let’s try them on. They fit! It was really inspiring and made me want to go out walking. Today is 4 weeks post op. I am 218 lbs, so I have lost 29 lbs in 4 weeks which is about a pound a day and I feel great. Not only because I am losing weight and being able to fit into cloths that I have not worn in 6 years but also inside. I feel lighter and do not feel as tired or winded when I climb stairs. I have been walking up and down the stairs in my building whenever possible. I even had my co-workers follow me on Tuesday. Gardening has picked way up. I spent most of my weekend gardening and then when I get home from work I am right in the garden. It really helps to work a lot of those muscles that I do not use on a day to day basis. I have been wearing my pedometer and still working toward the goals mentioned above. I am off on my aerobic steps and my fat burned.
I was hoping to attend the support group today at CHH but I have another meeting to attend. I hope to catch the one next week in the evening. At least check it out once.
4/20/09 I told Dr. Deveney that I would not know I had the surgery done except for the amount of food I can consume. I have lost about 35 lbs, am doing a lot more walking and am very mindful of what I am eating. I am on a soft food diet, still trying to get all my protein and liquids. I am always trying new things, seeing what I can eat (in one bit amounts.) Some things I am eating right now are Brie and Lox. I have found several bisque’s that I like. My favorite is a Red Lentil Curry. One thing that is out is eggs. I have only made myself sick a couple of time. Once on water and pills and the other time was eating scrambled, egg whites. I had eaten eggs prior to this incident and they just never really set right. They always feel like they get stuck. I do not know about others but making myself sick those two times was plenty for me to learn….there is a very fine line between full and stuffed (one spoonful) which makes me very aware of what I am eating and how much. What I generally eat can fit on a saucer, not even a salad plate. I fixed a plate of Chinese food the other day for my mom and sister and thought wow. Prior to the surgery I could have eaten everything on that dinner plate.
I have also learned a lot about my eating habits, stressors and the amount of food I use to eat. Not that I did not know before the surgery or at least had an idea. Now it slaps you in the face. You get home and all you want to do is eat, but you can’t. I then ask myself; why do I want to eat so much? I stop and analyze my day and realize that it was not a really good day at work, it was stressful, and I did not get done what I wanted to get done…whatever the reason. Then I have to find something, besides eating, to relieve that stress; gardening, take a walk, watch a movie. The same for celebrating and feeling good about my day or something that is going on in our lives, everything we do is based around food. I know everyone knows this stuff but as I said now you are slapped in the face with it. Before the surgery I had choice, now I consciously have to think about why, what am I going to do to replace this need I am feeling and cannot just fudge and eat whatever I want and say I will make it up later. This is just what I needed. I really do not think I have ever been this totally aware.
Not having energy has not been a problem, which I was concerned about before the surgery. I do not know if I have a lot more energy but it has not diminished in any way. I take walks with my co-workers. They are going to lunch or need to run an errand downtown, I am generally right there to go with them. Often not even knowing where I am going to be walking to I just trot right along to get my 7000 steps in for the day. My co-workers have been really supportive and positive. I think they are really able to see the weight loss, they comment on it and encourage me. Mark has never really made comments about the way I look, what I wear and he has even made suggestions about my clothing looking nice, or oh you need to get rid of that, you are swimming in it. I am in the clothes I was wearing when I first met him.
4/22/2009 I got a Wow this morning. I haven’t seen Misha since just last Thursday. But I guess my weight loss merited a Wow. It was nice to hear. At 6 weeks post-op I am down 39 lbs at 208 lbs. My goal is to be down to 200 or below by next Wednesday.
I just got back from my 1st support group meeting and it was good. I felt I had a lot to share and it was nice to talk to others who just had it done or were about a year out. Attending the meeting made me also feel good because I felt like I was on track, new more than most about what to eat, documenting my weight loss to keep up the energy and motivation 9 months from now. I walked to CHH from my office on Market and 5th, downtown Portland. Six weeks ago I would never have considered walking that far. It took me about 35 minutes to walk there. I felt so good walking there and the group was really nice that I felt energetic and walked back. It took me about 30 minutes to walk back. It was a big loop. I followed the street car tracks there. I feel great. I already have 8978 steps in and 6679 aerobic steps in all before noon.
4/29/09 I only lost 3 ½ lbs and was a bit disappointed. Marks said 3 ½ lbs is nothing to sneeze at, that is a ½ a lb a day. His pep did not really help much. I am just trying to figure out what I ate or did not do. I walked a bunch the week prior so it tells me that the walking helps but it discourages me from doing all that walking. I was walking about 2 miles a day. I have decided that I am going to weigh myself 2 x’s a week. Wednesday and Saturday. So, when I weigh myself on Saturday if I am not down about a 1lb a day I need to change what I am doing.
4/30/09 OK, I am no longer really disturbed about only losing 3 ½ lbs last week. I was able to get into my size 18 pants. Everyone at work said oh my gosh . . . you are shrinking every day. I really do not think I will ever get tired of hearing that from people. I have not been a size 18 since I was in my 20’s. I think I look great, though I am sure I will be disappointed when I stop losing weight as I have been. Just look at my reaction yesterday. I cannot remember feeling this way when I was this size when I was younger. I have always thought I was fat, even when I was a 16/18 when I graduated from high school. I am going to be completely over joyed when I can get into my 16’s.
5/1/2009 Completely instinctual I crossed my legs last night while I was sitting on my couch talking to someone. I was literally shocked when I realized what I had done without even thinking about it. I just looked at my legs. It was comfortable and natural. I sat there for quite a while and my leg did not fall asleep. This was very cool! I am sitting at my desk right now with my legs crossed. It is just a wow right now.
5/4/2009 I have noticed lately that I am always cold which very rarely happened at my 250 lbs. I even wear tennis shoe with socks every day. I guess that is a side effect of the weight loss.
I weighed myself Saturday and I had lost 1 lb a day. I had lost 3.33 lbs since Wednesday according to my Wii Fit.
I made myself ill this weekend. This was not a to full sick this was an upset stomach ill. I had purchased fresh Mataki mushrooms at the opening of the Wednesday Farmers Market in the park blocks. I use to love mushrooms. I am not sure when or if I will try then again. I sautéed them Saturday morning for breakfast thinking they are soft and easy to chew. I was sick the rest of the day. I could not even drinking water without feeling ill. Saturday evening I was at a friend for dinner and they commented that I did not look comfortable. I explained my situation. After that I went in the bathroom and threw up a bunch of mucus and felt a bit better. All I had eaten that day was about 2 ounces of mushrooms and a couple spoonfuls of lemon pudding. I tried some of the mash potatoes and gravy and it seemed to go down well until a half an hour later. It all came up on my friend’s living room floor. My husband was nice enough to clean it up for me. He said that there were still mushroom in which is odd because I have noticed that my body process what I eat in about half the time it did pre-surgery. So, to still have mushrooms inside of me 9 hours later is odd. One friend and my husband did point out that mushrooms are a fungus. I have felt fine since the incident in my friend’s living room.
5/6 I have lost 50 lbs in 2 months and I am below 200 lbs. I am actually at 199 lbs. I am hoping I can continue on this weight loss path. If I could lose another 50 lbs in 2 or 3 months which would be in August on the far end, that would be great. This appears to be one of those spots where I am in between sizes or at least what I feel comfortable wearing. Size 20 is falling off my body but 18 are tight to me. Plus I am having a hard time finding size 18 pants, though I only shop at Goodwill since I will probably only be wearing the clothes for a month.
I am really not eating a lot in a day and for the most part am not hungry. I eat a piece of string cheese for breakfast (low fat) or some cream of wheat. I might have string cheese for lunch and dinner has become my main meal. I enjoy eating chili, cooked zucchini, or edamame. I love the taste of steak and have been known to chew the steak to get the taste and spit out after I have chewed it to death. I am still drinking Kefir pretty regularly. I try to drink about 32 oz of water. I take my B12, multi vitamin, calcium citrate, and vitamin D.
5/21/09 I am down to 190 lbs this week. I am starting to notice it when I look at myself now. It might have something to do with people who I have known for years staring at me. For instance I spent the weekend with my parents on the Gorge doing wine tasting and the first night my mom just kept staring at me. I was thinking she must have something she wants to tell me and is not sure how to start the conversation. Finally she said I cannot stop staring at you. You look so different. My friend Lorie, same thing, she apologized for staring so much when we were having lunch the other day. As I said before I do not ever think I will get tired of hearing Wow or you look great. My mom said I even look healthier. She said I have the sparkle back in my eyes, my complexion looks pink and fresh.
This week has been a realization that food is not important. I really do not know how to explain it but I am not even thinking about food. It is really of no interest to me. It is not satisfying in any way. Thank the gods that I have gardening and my greenhouse right now. I will need to find something during the winter months to do. As I mentioned before I eat because I have to but I was still having cravings. I do not have those cravings any more. I am hoping this is not a phase but an actual change in my brain with behaviors.
5/27 Well, it would appear that I have hit a plateau of sorts. I did not lose any weight this week. It is a distressing but at the same time it is telling me that if I am serious about losing weight I need to take that next step and exercise more not just walk for the sake of getting my 9000 steps in a day. It also reminds me that this is just a tool, if I put the effort into losing weight it will come off. As the phrase goes I need to bump it up a notch. My plan is to up my step goals to 12,000 and put a bit more speed and distance into my walking. I told a friend that I hit a plateau and she not losing weight for one week did not constitute a plateau and to come and talk to her about plateaus when my weight is the same for 5 months :o)
6/3 Plateau over….I lost 3 lbs which is good. I am going to continue with the 12,000 steps and 6,000 aerobic steps. My goal is to do it a minimum of 5 days a week and it will probably be during the week. I have added 2, 5 lb weights to my workouts, wearing them either on my wrists or ankles. I read that your body says oh…I weight less now I do not need to exert as much energy or burn as many calories to do the same exercise. The article suggested adding more weight to your body with dumbbells or wrist/ankle weights. I have also taken to jumping rope. I started with 300 jumps and am working my way up to jumping without missing and maybe 1000 jumps. That might be a loft goal now but I think I can do it.
I put on a Hawaiian dress this week that I wore once six years ago and when I did wear it it was kind of tight. We kind of have Hawaiian Fridays and was considering wearing it this Friday. Mark thought I looked Hot in it :o)
6/10 Well, I had my 3 month post op appt and I was discussing that I hit a plateau. They mentioned that people at 3 months generally do not hit plateaus and that I have lost a significant amount of weight in 3 months. They mentioned that maybe I should stop weighing and start measuring because I am probably toning the muscles with all the walking and exercising I have been doing. I am feeling neurotic about losing weight. If I don’t lose I feel depressed, if I don’t lose as much as I think I should I feel depressed. I have been walking 3-5 miles a day since June 1st. I guess I will take their advise and quit weighing and I do not think I am even going to measure. I am going to enjoy how I am feeling and looking and quit focusing on the units of measurement.
6/11 I have been unable to find pants that fit. I am having a problem navigating the “regular” sizes, plus I am only looking at Goodwill since I do not want to spend a lot on the clothes since I might not be in them that long. The pants that I have been wearing are way too big, in an almost ridiculous way. I ran down to the Rack at lunch and the only size they went up to were 16’s. I took a pair in the dressing room slightly depressed because I did not think I was going to find anything. Well, the size 16’s fit great!!! My eye actually welled up with tears. So, much for giving up on units of measurement. I have not been in a size 16 since I do not know when, maybe when I was 16. I found several pairs of pants that looked great. Just thinking about it on my walk back up to my office made my eyes kept welling up. I am in a bit of a shock and have no one to share it with. Mark basically hung up on me because he was busy and was not really excited when I told him and I can’t get a hold of Lorie. Maybe I can find Bernadette and Susan and tell them. I want to share this with someone. I went to share with Bernadette and Susan, they are out to lunch. I ended up sharing with Jeffery and Michael. They were very excited for me and proud of me. Everyone on my team and in my area have been really supportive. Mark called me back and congratulated me. He was just busy and had several phones ringing all at once.
6/17 Mark and I walked to the park with Bree so she could play with the other dogs. Afterwards we went over to the swings and played for a bit. It was really nice to be able to sit on a swing and enjoy myself without the swing digging into my side. We had a great time and swung for about 15 minutes with no adverse reactions on my thighs.
6/21 I purchased a size 16 swim suite for my weekend with some friends at their lake house and for our rafting trip in July. It fit great. We took lots of pictures this weekend and I was shocked at my appearance. I have never found myself very photogenic. I do not know if that has improved but it is odd to be one of the skinny people in pictures. Another photo situation was where I had placed a bunch of pictures on my face book and bunches of people emailed me or called and said I did not even recognize you. Talk about blushing. It was a great way to start a Monday.
6/29 I have hips!!!! I do not know if that is a good thing or not really. I have noticed that I am not just able to pull my pants up and down without having to undo my belt or buttons. Well, I am having to undo my belt to get my pants back up so I guess I have hips again. Mark and I were walking out on Hawthorne this past week and walked by a store that had this really pretty dress in the window. I did not really think about it but Mark did and said why don’t you try it on. I had to stop and think….”Wow I bet I can fit into that, I am in a size large.” It took me aback for a moment. That was very exciting. I didn’t purchase the dress just because it was not made well. What a great feeling to be able to fit in a dress of any rack and not have to think do that make that large enough for me to wear?
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About Me
Portland, OR
Location
23.0
BMI
Surgery
03/11/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 03, 2009
Member Since
Before & After
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