homestar

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

May 25th, 2018

 

I had my surgery in 2007. I am just past my 11 year anniversary.

I think a decade is a safe amount of time to recap and consider myself a success story. My lowest weight was 130 or so, but that was pushing me into a size 2/4 and was legitimately underweight for my height and build. I didn't stay there very long - and came back up to 140lbs for years. I floated between a 6 and 8 for the majority of the last 10 years and only recently have bumped back into a size 10. Recently = very, very slowly within 2 years. 

I think this is because of an expansion of my stomach size... which, realistically speaking, will happen. 

Between the slight increase of clothing size, slight weight re-gain (a max of 40 lbs), and noticing the increased portions I am able to handle, I have decided to aggressively preserve all the hard work I've done for the last decade - I am going to have my stomach and stoma re-adjusted.  I have an appointment Next Friday to get my current pouch measured (upper GI) and mapped out for the Apollo Overstitch. 

I have already paid my deposits and office fees and I'm not bothering with insurance to drag this out. I am self-paying the $8,000. (all inclusive package, Austin Tx, message me for more info) to have this done. I saw a $5,500 (all inc.) price, but that was in Mexico and I'd rather do it same day, with a local doc, and in english. 

As 100% Postive as I am about protecting all the effort and hard work I've done... I still feel like there will be haters out there. I know I haven't regained a significant amount of weight, I'm still well under 200lbs... but I don't want to GET THERE in order to fix what I already know is happening.

This isn't about whether or not I'm curling up on the couch, eating bonbons, being lazy, and letting myself regain 100lbs..(because that isn't the case).. This is a mechanics issue. As far as abiding by the program and all the rules and coming out a winner on the "losing" side.... I've proven myself. I did it. I am a gigantic Gastric Bypass success and I'm incredibly proud of that. Now I'm going to make sure I stay that way! 

 

So, it's only fitting that my last picture (#50) is what I look like at the end of my weightloss journey. Granted it's only an assumption, but I've been at this weight for 8 to 9 months now, even had the dreaded slight "gain" but completely leveled out at :

140lbs,
a size 6 pants, 
a  Small/Medium top (depending on who makes it)
Size 7 ring (with a new engagement ring to go with it) starting was 11!!
Even my feet shrank a whole size (previously a 9) now an 8.

Happy 2 Year Anniversary to me!!

130-135lbs and I totally had people telling me I was getting "ugly" skinny. I was starting to look sickly, and not in a hot "nicole richie" way.. (even I can admit to that).. So I'm actually not upset that I gained 10ish pounds, even though that fluctuates with water weight. I just look better with a little extra fat in my cheeks. Have no fear, I can still slap on my hip bones sticking out. So I know where my body frame is at.

And god was on my side... I don't think I'll ever need platics. My arm-flab .. aka my "bat wings" have dwindled down to what a normal woman's arms look like. And If I cared that much - the only area that would need surgery would be my boobs... but the skin is catching up so they aren't so 'wilted' anymore. But they are by NO means ready for Playboy HA!

I'm to a place where I really dig my body. I have my days where I sometimes think it would be cool to look like a model, but I quickly get over that and am grateful I'm blessed to have the wonderfully forgiving body that I do. It got hip to my jive and we get along great now.

I don't dump. Well... I have the occasional instance where I eat a few bite more than I should and it just starts choked me up until its easier to just get it out than to sit there feeling gross. but..... the actual dumping symdrom I've experienced? No.. not in.. ages. I've just taken things and ran with them. I don't drink sodas. I eat a ton of veggies. My meat is greatly limited, but thats not because I can't eat it, its because I'm addicted to vegetables now instead.

Not much else to update about.. My life is wonderful on all sides. I hope everyone is doing well!

Hola! Greetings from afar. Just dropping a note to update everyone on my status. I'm all done moving, secured my job (which is freaking AWESOME!) And I'm still chillaxin in a size 4.

Sweet! Honestly, once I hit size 4, I was half expecting it to last a week.. and then I'd start gaining weight again.. But much to my surprise, its totally staying that way. I haven't changed my routine at all, and maybe thats why?

My skin is still shrinking up, more notable my tummy area and arm flab. My chest has this really awesome ribbed effect when I stand in the mirror and breath in and out. I tried popping my back the other day, and just so happened to catch my reflection and I saw the ribs on both sides when i was turning. The fat under the skin is dwindling.

I get paid next week and I'm splurging... going to buy my first ever piece of "techno geek" electronics. I've been "Googling" and researching different statistics and I think I've settled on getting a 50" plasma tv, which requires a new entertainment center for it to go on..... I've also budgeted for a (clothing) shopping spree, complete with alloted funds for accessories,  coordinating shoes, and new make-ups from Sephora!!   Obviously, the new job rocks my socks.... and it was a long time coming.

I've discussed a few different options with the hunny about when I get paid within the next couple of months we have some fun ideas going... But personally, since he's been my right-hand man, and nothing but amazingly good to me this whole time.. I wanted to plan a surprise for HIM. There is a convention going on in New York City in February 09 that I know he'd be totally excited about. I've already researched hotels - prices, distance to convention center, as well as distance to major areas of interest (like Times Square, Central Park, etc) of course I've checked on flights and dates - and its all incredibly reasonable. I wanted to take a vacation, but everywhere I wanted to go was out of the country and I couldn't exactly surprise him with that since he doesn't have his passport already.

But anyway.. thats the latest with me. I have to hop in the shower so when the hunny gets home from work, we can go get our new entertainment center. This is the one we're getting:
and the tv:

So my weight has officially plateaued off I believe. I am totally stuck between 130 and 135.. Everyone keeps hounding me to stop losing weight now, and they aren't believing me when I  say I haven't lost anymore. It dawned on me that the reason I'm looking smaller and smaller, is because my skin is finally catching up hardcore. So with my skin shrinking up, its looking like I'm losing more weight still.

I can actually say, I am only 10 pounds over what I truely (secretly) wanted. My honest goal weight was 145, which I'm obviously below, but I just had this lingering desire to push it to 120 or 125. Maybe it'll be possible with all the skin shrinking, who knows.. 

I'm moving this weekend. Relocating! FINALLY. Going to live with my hunny in a town far far away from the armpit of texas I'm currently in. My internets get shut off on Friday and I'm having a going away dinner tomorrow night, so this will be my last post here (at this apartment). I've gone through SOOooo much in this place in the last year and a half. I've been dying for this transition for a long long time.. and I'm sooooo fucking excited that it's finally here.

My life has changed so freaking much its unbelievable.

I'm weighing in at 139 now... weird. but nice. I'd like to keep going. I think I'm going to have to buy new jeans... the ones I have are baggy on my ass. Looks horrible. but it would bring me into a size 6.. payday (thursday) I think I shall go shopping..

guys are flocking. which is completely fucking with my head. I have 4 exs trying to get me back, 1 guy who isn't an ex, and then one thats special.. the guy I'm seeing, but haven't made "official" yet... 


but all the exs and such are messing with my head a lot. I don't do well in situations like this.

blah..

My first post under my target weight. I'm 150 at the moment, in a size 8 pants.. Medium top.............

and still dealing with body dysmorphia issues... I look in the mirror and still see 'chubby'... it sucks.. i wish i could feel more comfortable in my skin!!

I have a new man in my life.. he's the greatest.. think he may actually be the one.. but we'll see lol....

I can't believe i'm only 5 lbs away from the actual so called "unrealist" BMI for my height... unreal..

I bought my first suit for work and I took my mom with me to get her expert opinion on what looked the best. 

long story short, all the ones on the sale rack were 10s and too big. I've dropped down to an 8 now... at my favorite store.. Banana Republic. I have to wear those dELiA*s jeans of mine with a belt or I'm fighting with them the entire time.. they keep slipping off my hips.

so anyway.. I had to buy a full price suit at Banana Republic .. which wasn't cheap by ANY means. But it looks damn good. LOL... this shit is getting way too expensive.


***
Currently 155lbs/ Size 8
***

I see so many beautiful people on this website. I just hope they all realize how beautiful they really are.. 

I guess I'm suffering from the whole body dysmporphia issue. My thighs don't touch in the middle, I almost walk pigeon-toed, squeezing my non-existant ass into size 8/9s and I still worry about people thinking I'm a fat ass. GAH..

I am relieved, however... because I'm 11 months out and can finally sit at a table with folks and nitpick at food enough to not raise any eyebrows like before. We're talking a seriously small kid portion, but theres always the "I just ate a little bit ago" excuse... or blame it on the taste.. "It tastes a little funny to me.."

Its a good thing too.. because I just got a HUGE promotion at work and all the senior staff dine for lunch together in the restraunt. So now I'm not sitting there nervous like people are watching me. They see a plate of food dwindle.. but what they don't see.. or don't worry about.. is that its mostly salad and watery fruits like melon (both of which take up hardly any room in your stomach). Scorree..

So yep.. Got a raise in November, then for Christmas, I was promoted as the newest senior staff employee at my company. Things are definately looking rosey for me right now.
-- I'm hanging out in the 150s still, which makes me very happy.
-- I'm in size 8/9.. which makes me very happy. 
-- My boyfriend is the bestest ever.. which also makes me very happy.

LOL I'm a dork..


***

So.. I'm a typical chic and go through the whole baby-loving phase every so often. Its been freaking my boyfriend out. LOLLL so I told him that since I couldn't have his baby any time soon, that I needed something else to obsess over.. which I decided should be a wedding. LOL (yes I am weird like that, but boredom sucks).

So anyway. Instead of wandering through the baby isles, I've been flipping through Wedding magazines. Well I totally stumbled upon the most gorgeous dress I've ever seen. It had all of the characteristics I was looking for in a wedding dress. It covered my 'self conscious' spot (the armpit flab area) covered the tattoo on my back, had a big enough skirt to separate itself from a prom dress, and it had a touch of vintage to it!!!!!

So I researched it online.. and EVERY bridal magazine I've EVER read always says to have a "General Idea" about dresses and to NOT get your heart set on one exact dress because the chances of finding it are slim to none (or its too expensive, or discontinued, etc) So.. I found a store that carried the designer (Monique Lhuillier). And decided to go investigate on my day off.

I walk in and I get all nervous. The place is ultimate high-end. I'm in heaven.. LOL... I get directed towards the Bridal section and there are 3 women sitting together and they all turn towards me and smile. I'm caught off guard by it, so I kind of studder and walk over saying something along the lines of "Hi.. I'm new at this, but I was wondering if you have this dress... or something similar" and I hand one the magazine image I had neatly torn out. She looks at me and is like "Oh yes! Thats right over here." I think I tripped on myself just standing there. Then I dart over behind her as she's walking to a rack of dresses partitioned off from the rest. I could already tell my heart rate was going a mile a minute. 

She pulls it off the rack and displays it for me, WOW.. yeah.. it was definitely the one. She motioned that all the dresses in this section were Monique Lhuillier and asked if there was anything else I was interested in trying on. Still in shock, I mindlessly just zero in on the other dresses that were similar and pick out 2 others. I asked what sizes they came in and she said "Oh, all our demos are size 10s." at which point my heart froze over and felt like I was kicked. I tell her that I'm a size 10 but I know they tend to run small, I actually flinched at her.. maybe as a gesture of hope ..or maybe anguish.. LOL I can't remember..

ANYway... so we go in and she helps me get in the thing. She starts zipping the skirt portion, I'm praying to the Gods to let it fit, and I'm yapping away in nervousness and she's like "Well, these do run smaller than normal, so this is closer to an 8/9" ((just picture time freezing and echo, echo, echo)) and as she finishes tying the sash around my waist, I turn and look in the mirror and I'm starstruck. Everything came crashing down on me. Not only did this store have my exact dream wedding dress.. But it was there to LOOK at and touch.. and try on. but it was in my size.. it FIT IT like it was MADE FOR ME.. it was the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.. it was so freaking flattering... I couldn't even do anything.. I felt it wash over me and my eyes started watering and I was like OMG... who the hell is this person in front of me.

 My head was fuzzy with all these realizations.. I had not only lost a shitload of weight, I fit into the floor model dress of couture. WTF!.... ME?? 

SO yes.. I had my first official WOW moment. I had a smidgen of one when I bought the lil black dress, but the impact of the wedding dress was like a brick to the face. And you KNOW I had to get a picture. lol


***

Never in a million years did I think I'd be bitching about NOT having something. and I've lost track of everything I've written in here.. so I might even be repeating myself.. but I don't have a butt. I was just looking at that one of my comparison photos (the one where I'm facing right and in my bra/underwear.) and I really didn't have a butt to begin with, but now its just damn sad. My boobs are a whole other story. The only way to describe them is "DEFLATED" lol... they look absolutely horrible. They sag and point to the ground and I'd probably be a nice full B judging by the actual density of them, but they hang so low  and are so stretched out, I fill up a C cup with the extra crap. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not complaining about losing the boobs, I've actually always wanted smaller boobs.. i just think they look horrible now.  I'd soo get my upper body done  before the lower body... and I say upper body because if I get the boobs lifted, then I'd have to get my arm flab taken off at the same time so I'd fit regularly in shirts.

I've been answering a LOT of emails on here lately.. which I think is really cool. I guess I've adapted more than I realized because answering all the emails reminds me just how different everything seemed in the beginning.

in other news.. I'm trying to find a job so I can relocate back to Houston.  It seems like I may already have a house to rent, friends to call, places to shop, and a guy to woo me... just need the last (and most important piece)... a JOB to make it all happen. lol

... I also have an ex-boyfriend that keeps fawning all over me. He's laying on the whole "the biggest mistake of my life was losing you" stuff. He doesn't know about the surgery, didn't see me at my heaviest, but has seen recent pictures from my MySpace profile.. as flattering as it is, its all getting on my nerves a bit since I've told him numerous times I have a boyfriend.. of which there is absolutely no comparison..

I'll have to write more later.. I'm up here at work. 


***