So, everyone says to start a blog to chronicle your journey.

Jul 08, 2010

Okay. What do I write? First off I guess I could start with how I got here. I don't ever remember being naturally thin. I was a chubby baby, a pudgy little girl, and have been a fat adult. The pounds go on, I diet, the pounds go off, I binge, the pounds go back on.

Fast forward 40 years.

Okay I'm 50. Now what. I'm miserable, I'm fat, now the pounds don't come off with "normal" dieting. I'm depressed. I spend most of my life at work or on my sofa or in my bed. I don't want to doanything that requires any energy because I don't have any. My feet hurt, my back hurts, my butt hurts when sitting too long in one place. I am continually and constantly nagged by this ever ingulfing and overwhelming need to eat eat eat. I am never satisfied. It is EXCRUTIATING to deny myself food. Everyday I wake up with good intentions TODAY IS THE DAY I START MY DIET and I go to bed every night in exhausted defeat.

Friends and family members have resorted to weight loss surgery. This is NOT for me. I should be able to lose this weight on my own, right? I'm religious - I should have victory over this sin! God - I pray every day for You to help me win this battle and You don't seem to answer!

I'm getting fatter and fatter and fatter. I now weigh 50 pounds over my highest pregnancy weight! How can this be? I truly feel I don't eat anything much different than any of the natually thin people around me. Even my husband, who is about 40 pounds overweight eats whatever he wants, how much he wants and he's only 40 pounds over weight! I am over  100 pounds overweight.

I run into a girlfriend of mine who I hadn't seen in several years. She looks fantastic - she had WLS 7 years ago - says it was the best thing she ever did. She tells me where she had the surgery (she had checked out all the different clinics and settled on Barix in Langhorne, PA). I listen to her talk for an hour - I think to myself, "Maybe I should check it out - this could be the answer".

I call and make an appointment.

0 Comments