hpaige28

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I just re-read my notes from my last blog. Although I tried with the Drs in NH, I was still having those regurgitation issues. I still never felt full. So after about a year of that, I decided again to have all my saline removed from my band.

For the most part I was not gaining weight as I knew what to eat. However slowly bad habits came back and I had gotten myself back up to 275 which has been my highest. Then December of 2013 I decided to start carb watching. So from Dec 2012 to May2014 I was able to lose about 17 ponds. I felt great. 

Then I started dating and was emotionally hurt by an old acquaintance. I just started to spiral and decide to enjoy food again and not think about the health consequences . However toward the end of 2014 I was starting to have a lot of regurgitation issues; however now there was no rhyme or reason to it. So one day I could have steak but the next day I was regurgitating it right back up. I got so frustrated that when I tried to eat better I could not because it would keep coming up. So I decided to get my band removed. I was supposed to have my band removed in March but I was too sick. So I am having it removed on Thursday June 25th. I am nervous. 

It has been a long time and i have not written in my blog and I wanted to catch up. My Surgery was performed in NY where my family lived, it made sense as I could recover there and plus my parents worked in the Hospital so I was in good hands.

Everything was going well with my weight loss. I live in NH and was unable to find a Doctor in the area to take on my care. So if I wanted fills I would have to drive to NY where the doctor was and have it done there. Let me tell you that does not really work since you have to listen to your body and get fills almost every month. I ended up probably going down every 2 months. It was not a good thing but I was trying. I always remembered that after the fill that first week I would do great but then it seemed I always could eat more in a serving and not have a problem. By  Feb of 2011 I was having a lot of problems with my band. According to the doctor the fluid was going down with no problems yet I could not keep anything down. I was frustrated and deflated and decided to have all the fluid removed. I wanted to take a step back.

The year of 2011 was going well. In the beginning my weight was stabilized, as I was still sticking to plan. However I started getting hungrier and as time went by my weight crept up. I gained the 40 pounds I lost back and then an additional 9. I tried to find a Doctor up where I lived to take me on as a patient, I found one close by but he would only do fills not speak with me. Then around October when I turned 40 my doctors office called and said if I wanted to try it again then they would see if they could find another doctor that I could get in their program.

I was directed to CMC's Obesity Center in NH and to a Dr. Robert Catania. I met with him and we discussed my issues and he took on my care. I went for updated tests as well as began seeing the Dietitian and the exercise physiologist and going back to post op meetings. They also have behavior modification classes that I am now taking.

I have had two fills since I started back in January. I am trying once again to follow the guidelines. I am listening more to m body.

Anyway that is what is up with me these days.

I saw my surgeon and he said that the 1400 calories that the Nutritionist suggested is for people who have not had lap band surgery. He said I should be only taking in between 800-1200 calories a day. As you know I have been struggling with my weight. Up and down and up and down. Now I think my scale at home is broken because I came to NY for the holidays and there is a 4 pound difference between my scale at home and the one at my parents house. I went to the Dr's. office and even that was the same as my parents scale. Which makes me happy because it showed 4 pounds less than what I thought I was.

So anyway I have been working out every day for 30 min. I see a trainer 3x a week to do circuit training and then 2x a week I do cardio. I have made it a point to get in exercise while I am away this week and on vacation for the holidays. So far every day I have gotten some in. Anyway I last received a fill of Sept 25. and at that time with the fill I had a total of 5 cc's in a 10 cc band. I felt good but then started having issues eating the things I was able to eat before. I kept on having that problem where I chew and then it feels like It gets stuck. I do not throw up but end up having a lot of spit that just keeps coming up. Sometimes it brings the food and the spit up and sometimes it is just spit. So I have had to eat slower than usual and sometimes that helps. For the most part I have been only able to have mushy food, not to many things that are solid.

I also have been feeling my Port a lot lately and sometimes it feels a bit painful and I am not losing weight. So I when I went to the surgeons office he felt that I was in the red zone and that although frustrating this is the process some of us must go through. He felt that I need to have an adjustment where they took out some fluid. So I went to the Radiologist and had the fluid taken out. The radiologist said that I only had 4 cc's in my band and that sometimes the cc's dissipate which is what happened to the extra cc that I had in there. Although he said that when I swallowed everything went down really well since the surgeon wanted me to have some of the fluid taken out he would do it. If I feel like I am able to eat more than 6 oz and not feel full then I need to come back and have the saline added in again,

So now I have 3 1/2 CC's in my band and was on liquids yesterday and today. The doctor said that I should only eat 6oz of food during one meal. So I am going to see what I can eat tomorrow. I will either blog about it tomorrow or Friday. 

I am frustrated to see so many people just lose the weight and I struggle to lose. I know the journey is different for everyone but it feels at times like It is not working for me. Like I have lost as much as I can and that is it. I have been helping my mother cook all week and let me tell you it has been hard to be on liquids although it is a good soup time so that is the only plus.

Have a happy Thanksgiving.

Last Thursday I went to see a Nutritionist. I needed to determine why I was not losing weight when I was doing everything I have been taught to do.   She decided by my current weight, height and activity level that I should be getting in approx 1400 calories a day which includes the 60-80 grams of protein that I need to have daily for my lap band. It is a change for me because I am eating 5 small meals a. Sometimes I can eat it and sometimes I am not hungry. However I am learning to try this new method out.   Also my biggest issues have been that I was not writing in my food journal on the weekend so I could be sabotaging my weekly process. So my goal this month is to journal on the weekends. This was my first weekend and I did it. Now I just need to keep the momentum going. I see the Nutritionist again in December hoping there is a difference of weight loss.

Yesterday I went to the doctors and we discussed my fasting blood work. I was hoping that I would be able to come off my meds, but my triglycerides level was still high. Around the 300 range which is lower than it has ever been as usually it is in the 500 range.   It made me really depressed and of course I sabotaged myself by having about a cup of pistachios yesterday. I also did not work out at all yesterday which was bad.   Today I am going straight to the gym after work. I am also planning to see a nutritionist next week. Since I still cannot understand why I am not losing weight when I work out everyday during the week for 30 min and eat well. Okay done with my venting.

I have only had two fills so far and still I find myself hungry and able to eat more that I should. I have also found that some of the items I could eat before I cannot eat now, such as hard carrots and some crackers. So I have to change up on some of the food I eat.

I have started seeing a personal trainer. When I get back to a regular schedule I will be able to see her 3x a week so I will be able to do aerobic activities 2x a week on my own. I can already feel a difference just working with the Personal Trainer and I have only been there three times so far.

I am also trying to be good food wise. I was still snacking a lot and when I found myself the other Sunday eating three pieces of cake in one day I realized I was out of control. So I threw away the cake I bought and tried to stick with three meals a day and two snacks. It is still wicked hard.

Today I did not bring lunch because I do not have anything really in my fridge, so I got a plain hamburger at work. Let me tell you I had a couple of bites. Then I get sliming and PB and go the bathroom to spit it up. I went back to lunch and ended up having a protein shake and I feel fine 2 hours later and not hungry.   I probably need to have another fill to curb the hunger that I still feel but since I recently got a fill about two weeks ago I will have to wait awhile. I see the Doctor this Friday so I can tell him my issues and see what he says.

Today I went it to have my second fill since the last month I have not been losing any weight more on the gaining side. I have no restriction whatsoever and I was just miserable.

Everything went well, although they only added 1 cc to my band with already have 3 ccs. I wanted more but the doctor said that if I got more ccs I would have to come back tomorrow to have it removed because i would probably be throwing up.

I am not sure how I feel rt now since i am on liquids. I am drinking 8 oz of my protein shake wicked slow because if I drink it to fast I end up burping a lot.

I have not blogged for a while because I have not felt so good what with going back up 7 pounds. It was a struggle and constant frustration. Hopefully this fill will help me.

Last night I tried to eat some chicken and broccoli and I was PB' ing for like an hour. It was so uncomfortable and it made me cry. Needless to say I am having cottage cheese today for breakfast and lunch. It scares me that I won't be able to eat chicken since that is all I was eating the last three months. That and fish and sometimes meat. I really hate the discomfort of PB'ing, I just need to chew, chew, chew.

Today I had my first fill, they said I only had 1/2 cc in my band when I first got it. Today they gave me 3 cc's in my band. So far so good, although I am felling very gassy.

After a weekend of bad choices I am back on track again. I find the weekend to be the hardest and it is probably because I am not as busy as I am during the week. When I am at work I am constantly doing something with my hands and head so I find that I do not have time to let my self get hungry. It doesn't mean that I don't want to snack but I try to have a snack that is good for me.

Today I am working from home, and although it may be tempting I am still working online and have meetings and feel I will be able to control myself. It really is mind over matter and I need to be tougher with myself and make the right choices. It is still wicked tough.