hsteinle
Hello... Well, I have been overweight pretty much my entire life. I think the only pictures I have of me at a "normal" size was when I was very young (kindergarten and younger)... except the one time I was able to lose 95lbs only to gain it and more back a year later.
Growing up, school was a love/hate relationship for me. I love school (learning) and yet hated all of the name calling and stuff that I had to endure because of my weight. I am pretty sure that I started putting on weight as a protection against some bad things that happened to me as a young child and then the more I was teased, etc. the more I ate to cope with those things too. So it was a never-ending cycle. Finally, when I was about 15, I was getting ready to go into high school and I just begged my parents to get me into some kinda weight loss program because I did not want to go through high school overweight. I went to Physicians Weight Loss and it worked (it was VERY hard for me to say the least). I lost 95 pounds in about 6-7 months and then as I was entering the "maintenance" phase, the company started to go under and would not honor their promises to help me learn to maintain my loss. So... by the time I was 18, I was back up to about 200lbs and just kept gaining from there.
I was lucky enough to find someone who loved me for me, despite my weight and who actually preferred a girl with "meat on her bones". Got married and soon found out, that I had PCOS and probably wouldnt be able to have a child without medication or unless I dropped some serious weight (which seemed all but impossible). I tried everything... weight watchers, slim for life, slim fast, atkins, etc, etc. and they all worked for a short period. Either I wasnt able to maintain the diet or once I lost some weight I couldnt keep it off. So we pretty much gave up on having a child and got a dog instead, lol!
Years later and still very overweight, I was tired of BC pills making me feel like crap and went to a fertility doctor to see if they could help regulate me without BC pills and just use other methods of contraception. After about 2 months I stopped taking the medication they had given me and viola 2 months later I found out I was pregnant. I could hardly believe it. The pregnancy was not much fun for me, worried about the baby and then diagnosed with gestational diabetes (shots and all). I was so afraid of losing the baby or hurting the baby. Eventually, she came by c-section and our life has never been the same (in a good way)!
So she's turning 3 next month and all I can think about it my need to get my sh*t together so I can be a better example for her and so she doesnt have my childhood or have kids teasing her because she has a fat mom. After going a long time with no health insurance (my husband's employer didnt offer any), my husband found a job that has blessed us with insurance that will pay for me to have weight loss surgery. So here I am, beginning my journey into a new life for me, my husband and my daughter...
