Things are a little better now!
Sep 10, 2009
I'm doing pretty well now. The past couple of weeks had been a little rough, but I was out walking with my friend at the dog park yesterday, and it was a beautiful, hot, sunny day. This dog park is just miles of paths through the woods. It's so peaceful, you'd think you were out in the middle of nowhere, in the forest somewhere, but it's actually right in Oshawa (pop. 152,000). We walked through the trees for about an hour, so it was a great way for me to get some exercise, laugh at the dogs having so much fun, and get to spend some time with my friend. We're going for Salsa lessons tonight at the Y, and then hopefully I'll go walking at the dog park with her again on Friday.
I'm still waiting to see the surgeon next week about having my hernia repaired. I've been on a stall for several weeks now, but it's the first one I've had in 7 months, so I'm not all wound up about it. I'm loving that I'm now into a size 14!!! I'm actually in a "normal" size. Just an average size woman now. What an amazing feeling!
I'm very excited now that I'm into a size 14 jeans! I bought a bunch of things at Walmart, because I needed some tops and casual pants. It was so exciting for me, to be able to pick up a size large, and have it fit! (Not even an XL, but just a L!!)
No more plus sized clothing!! Yay me! Now I'm just an average sized woman. I love it! I don't stick out in a crowd anymore. I don't feel like the biggest person in the room anymore. I feel fabulous at this weight. Anything else I lose is just going to be a bonus as far as I'm concerned. I'm 39 pounds from my goal weight, but to be honest, I haven't been a size 14 in at least 18-20 years, so this is thrilling beyond belief for me. I can hardly believe it sometimes.
I've passed on all my larger clothes to a friend in our WLS support group, who's mother had RNY in June. She's a size or two larger than me, so she wears the smaller stuff now, and then her mom will be able to wear it when it doesn't fit my friend anymore. I really enjoy giving my things to someone I know. Her mom is just like a kid at Christmas when I bring over bags of stuff. It's so cute! I've taken 2 huge loads over so far, and they are both thrilled, and thank me over and over again. It's a nice feeling.
So now I have a very weeded out closet, and I love seeing the empty space in there. No more closets crammed full of 5 different sizes of clothing! My friend asked me why I hung onto the larger sized things for so long. I told her I had to be ready to "just let it go". We all have attachments to certain things that were our favorites, or maybe spent a fortune on. It takes a while for us to adjust to our body size, and realise we're never going to be needing those things again. I love the empty space! I'm going to be getting rid of a lot of other stuff around the house that I never use too. I need the room to get organized. Clutter frustrates me, so I know it helps me mentally, when I have clear space and an organized closet.
On a totally different topic, my poor daughter Danielle has a large cyst on her left ovary, which had been causing her a lot of pain. I didn't know about it at all. I guess she didn't want to worry me. I was talking to her one night, and she sounded really down, which is very different than her usual way. I asked her if everything was OK. So she told me she had been to the doctor, and the doctor thought Danielle was suffering from depression.
I guess Danielle had been getting very emotional, and crying a lot, and was really tired, and not interested in doing things that she used to. Danielle just thought it was because she was really stressed at work, and she was worried about me being in and out of the hospital, and her live-in boyfriends mom is going through chemotherapy after breast cancer surgery. So she DID have a lot of stress in her life, but this was different and she knew it. So I think she's going to have to start taking anti-depressants, which is good, because depression runs in my family, and there's no need for her to suffer. She knows all the signs and symptoms because I've had it since I was pretty young, and she's not adverse to taking medication for it if it will help her feel like her old self again. I don't know if she'll be having surgery for the cyst anytime soon, but eventually she may have to. So I guess that's why I wasn't able to get her on the phone for days and days, because she was depressed, and probably didn't want to talk to anyone once she got home from work (which I totally understand). I've been there, and know what it's like. I'm just glad I finally know what was going on with her though!
Her and her boyfriend are looking to buy their first home, and I think they've found the place. Danielle's dad is a general contractor, so he's going to have a look at the house today. I really hope they get it, because it's beautifully finished inside, and it's in a cute little 40's neighbourhood right in Toronto. It has been totally renovated, and it's just so HER. If you want to look at the pictures, go to www.35gray.com
Hope everyone is happy, healthy, and enjoying these beautiful Indian Summer days.