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Well it's just over 4 weeks until my surgery date, Feb 10th 2009.  I was feeling kind of anxious about a few things, and had no one to talk to about it.  It's one thing to talk online with people, but it's very different to have a face to face talk with someone about my worries, or concerns about having the surgery, and how I'll be able to deal with everything.

My friend KimD asked if I would like to meet her for coffee sometime, and so we did meet on Wednesday at 4:00.  We spent 6 hours at Tim Horton's!! 
What a wonderful person Kim is! I feel so lucky that I was able to meet someone on this site, who lives so close by to where I live, and who is such a fantastic friend!  She has had the most interesting life, and is a wonderful story teller.  I could listen to her for hours (as I obviously did!)  Not that she was doing all the talking, but MAN, we just were so in sync, at least to me.  We have so much in common, outside of the WLS, and it was so much fun to sit and laugh about our lives.

I felt so much better when I got home.  I felt after talking with Kim that I could really do this.  She's a nurse too, so she is a wealth of knowledge about other things as well.  I feel very relieved to know I'll have someone local to call if I have any difficulties after surgery, or any questions.  I live alone, so that has been a concern for me, but now that load has been lifted.  Thank you Kim!  I am really looking forward to our next get-together.

I weighed myself on Thursday, and was done another 1 1/2 pounds.  Not that I've been dieting, but I haven't been eating because I was getting really lazy. 

I know I'm going to have to start journaling, but I can't write with a pen & paper too much, because my fibromyalgia makes it difficult.  This blog is going to have to be my journal.  I'm going to try and write at least once a week before surgery, and daily after surgery, at least for the first few weeks.

I hope that everyone gets what they're hoping for, and has a wonderful, successful New Year!

Nancy

Well, it's 5 weeks on Tuesday until I have my surgery.  I'm starting to have some anxiety about it.  The normal worries I think.  Am I going to come out of the surgery OK?  Will I have any problems like bleeding, strictures, etc., after the surgery is done?

I live about 5 1/2 hours away from the hospital where the surgery is being performed.  I'm worried that if I have any problems, I won't be able to get ahold of the hospital or doctor.  If I go to a local hospital, are they going to know how to treat me? 

I live alone, and although I'll have help for the first few days, I'm not sure about how I'll make out on my own long term.

I'm pretty sure that most of this is normal, as I get closer and closer to life changing surgery!

Well I've been reading and re-reading my copy of WLS for Dummies.  Since I only have about 8 weeks to go until my surgery, I decided to empty my cupboards of all the things I won't be eating and drinking any more, or at least not for a long time. 

I had 3 brown paper bags that I had picked up at the grocery store, that were for the local food bank.  I started in my upper cupboards, where you ususally forget what you've got stashed there anyway, and cleaned out quite a bit.  Pasta, pancake mix, some canned drinks  like diet lemon iced tea, and some Diet Coke Vanilla & Cherry.  I had an extra jar of mayonaisse, chick peas, microwave popcorn, Earl Grey tea,... I could go on, but you get the idea.

I thought, "What a great way to not feel guilty about throwing away food."  Once I've cleaned out all the cupboards, I just have to take the bags over to Loblaws, and leave them in the big bin there. 

I decided to start listing some things that I'll be grateful for after surgery too.  It was hard to think of things at first, but then I got on a roll.  Here's a partial list:

Being able to cross my legs
Wearing a dress.
Wearing shorts.
Putting on tights or pantyhose without putting my back out, or getting completely out of breath and sweating!
Grocery shopping without using one of those electric scooters.
Painting and decorating for myself again Being able to clean my condo without being in bed for 2 days afterwards.
Being able to go shopping with my daughter for more than a few hours.
Wearing clothes from the regular size departments, instead of always shopping at plus sized stores.
Not having swollen feet or hands. Not perspiring profusely.  Not getting rashes under my jiggly bits.
Going to a party without first thinking "I wonder what they'll be serving?"
Being able to dance again!!!
Exercising with weights at the Y, and feeling like I could kick butt afterwards!
Going back to work eventually.
Going on another vacation to Italy, enjoying every second, walking and climbing everywhere!
Not having food falling out of my mouth, and ending up on my boobs.
Not worrying about fitting into the airline seats.  My last flight a year ago, I could barely get the belt fastened. 
Hopefully losing this chronic back, and joint pain. Getting rid of my C-PAP machine!  
I went to my sisters for a few days last week, and on the day I went, I wore a denim skirt!!! OMG!!  This was a huge deal for me. I probably haven't worn a skirt in at least 4-5 years.  Now that tights are back in style, I wore the skirt with black tights and boots, and wore a long sleeved black t-shirt tucked in!  OMG!! Again, this was a huge deal.

 I told my sister I was trying to get used to going outside of my comfort zone.  I'm pretty adventurous, but I feel there are always places where we could try some new things.  I know I'm going to have to get used to plenty of new things in the next year, so I'm starting now.  And you know what?  The world didn't fall off it's axis because I wore a skirt!  No one was pointing and laughing!  I actually looked nice, and I felt great too! LOL

My surgery is going to help me get back to being the person I used to be.  I can't wait!

Nancy

Sorry about that title, but I'm freaking out.

OK, I really felt like having a nap late this afternoon, but I thought "No, get your lazy butt dressed, put on some makeup and get out to shop!".

I got all ready (looking lovely, I might add ), put my car keys in my jeans pocket, and took my recycling down to the bins (in my condo).  As I was walking out through the parking lot towards my car, I reached into my jeans pocket and ..... NO CAR KEYS!!!  Flippin' heck! 

Several times I retraced my steps, went through my pockets, checked all over my condo, did a sweep of the parking lot, and even went out back and dumped the recycling bin, in the dark(thankfully it was only cardboard I took out).  Nothing!

I called CAA, and the locksmith told me that because of the type of transponder in my car (2001 Toyota Highlander), it would have to be towed to a dealership!  Not only that, he said the first generation of these transponders have to be replaced.  He said they can't just reprogram it, like they can with later models.  I asked him if he had any idea how much something like that would cost, and he said he's heard about $1,000.  WHA!!!

OK, so I'm trying not to get myself into a panic.  I've now had to abandon my plans to get to the bank and WalMart tonight, and did another search of my condo.  I went through all of my purses, looking for a spare set of keys (I used to have one.....).  I dumped the purse I've been using lately, even though I've gone through it 5 times. Now I'm REALLY getting worked up, because not only did I lose my keys, but I can't find my spare set either.  This has never happened to me.  I've been driving for over 30 years, and I have never lost my car keys!

So I called Toyota at their 800#, to see if they could give me any ideas.  He confirmed that I would have to have it towed tomorrow, and the dealer can make me a set of keys and replace the keyless entry remote, but they have to have the car there, because the key code is on the door, and they have to see proof that I'm the owner (which is good). 

OMG, thank goodness I have CAA to pay for the tow.  I can't seem to catch a break lately financially.  I'm trying not to stress, but I AM stressing!!  I need to go to bed and try and relax, but I'll probably be up all night. 

Wish me luck!

Nancy

 

 

Well, I just got my date for surgery this week, finally!!  Unfortunately it's not until February 10th, but with Christmas and everything, I'm hoping it will go by quickly.

For some reason, since getting my surgery date, rather than feeling excited, I'm feeling a little down.  I don't know why.  It seems so far off.  Almost 3 months.  It took 6 months from when I first contacted Barix Clinics, to getting my surgery date.  Now that I've got it, I'm surprised that I'm not jumping up and down.  I thought I would have been more excited than I am.  Maybe it's normal.  I don't know.

I was worrying about how I was going to manage once I got home, because I live alone.  I went out for dinner with my daughter for my birthday, and she said that she can take 3 days off after I come home.  I was thrilled!!  She said that lot's of people at her work, take time off for their sick kids and spouses, and she's only had one sick day since she's been there, so she's going to tell them she has to look after me when I come home from the hospital.  What a huge relief to know that she will be here 24 hours a day.  She'll make sure I eat and drink what I'm supposed to, and that I exercise.  She's very disciplined, and she'll make sure I do everything I'm supposed to do.  

 

My little Gracie is doing very well now.  It's taken a month or so, but she seems to be back to her old self.  She still isn't eating a lot, but she was always the smaller of the two cats I have anyway.  I'm just happy that she's recovering.

My dental work is done, and was very expensive.  It cost me about $1,800 for my work, plus the vet bill for Gracie ended up being over $1,600!  Plus, I had just spent $1,100 on my car a few weeks before, so it was a brutal month.  Thank goodness for Visa!

I've been painting my condo, which is a slow process.  I can only do a wall or two at a time, and I've been working at it for about a month now.  It looks so nice!  I also took down all the horrible old white vertical blinds from the 70's, and put up nice big curtain rods with chunky finials, and nice curtains in my bedroom, the second bedroom, and the living/dining room.  What a difference!!!  It looks like a totally different place.

The decor was really getting me down.  I'm off work on disability, and I didn't think I would ever be able to do the things I've done, like painting and putting up curtain rods.  I even bought myself a drill! LOL  I've never used power tools before, so this was a real challenge for me, but I figured it out and learned how to put up the brackets, level them, etc.

I couldn't afford to have someone paint my condo, so I figured I would have to do it myself.  It took me forever just to decide on a paint color!  My daughter knows my level of disability, and she said to me, "How are you going to paint your apartment?", and I said "One wall at a time!"  It's not a perfect paint job, but pretty close.  I'm just so happy with it, and proud of myself for doing as much as I've done.  I sometimes have to spend several days in bed after a few hours of painting (because I have to move the furniture too), but it's worth it.  If it takes me 3 months to get it done, at least it will be done!  It will also be really nice to come home to, after my surgery.  Rather than a depressing dump, it will be modern and cheery. 

I've been trying to get my Christmas shopping done.  I do almost all of it online, because shopping just wears me out.  The internet is fantastic, and everything gets delivered to me.  All I have to do is wrap it.  It's great!

Well I hope everyone is doing well, and having lots of success.

Love to all,

Nancy

It's been a heck of a couple of weeks!

I'm still waiting for my doctor to get the note about my psych report.  That's all I'm waiting for, to send my application back to OHIP for out-of-country approval.  It's frustrating having to wait on these doctors.  Now I'm not sure if I'll even get to have my surgery before Christmas!

I also had to spend $1,600 at the dentists last week, for two crowns and a bridge.  It's worth it, because they look great, BUT.....

One of my kitty cats, Gracie, got sick, and I had to take her to the vets.  I didn't know what was wrong with her, but she was really lethargic, and wasn't cuddling or looking for attention like she usually is.  When the vet looked at her, she said Gracie had jaundice!  Underneath her tongue was yellow.  That means there's probably something wrong with her liver, so they had to do bloodwork, and an X-ray.

I felt so guilty, that I hadn't brought her in earlier.  Long story short, she's been in the cat hospital on IV fluids, antibiotics, etc.  It's costing me a small fortune, but what can you do?  When I look at her little face, and she nudges me, how can I not spend the money for tests, etc?  It's not a very good time to have to go into debt, but what can I do?

Because it's our Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, they told me that Gracie would have to go to the Emergency Animal Hospital for Sunday and Monday, because the vet's office was closed.  I asked how much that was going to cost me, and they said "probably at least $1,000".  I just started to cry!!  It's already costing me probably at least $600 for the tests they've done so far.  Another $1,000 on top of that, and then Tuesday morning we still wouldn't know anything more, and I've have more decisions to make.

I couldn't stop crying.  I was probably standing there at her cage for about half an hour, trying to decide whether to take her home, and try getting fluids and a bit of food into her, or leave her at the vet's.  I told them I can barely look after myself, and I wanted to do what was best for her.  The vet had mentioned that euthansia was an option, but she didn't feel that Gracie was sick enough to consider it yet, because they still didn't know what was causing the jaundice. She wasn't ready to throw in the towel on her yet though.  I didn't know what to do or what to think.  She's only 2 years old.  I just sobbed.

I guess after a while, the vet took pity on me or something, because she said "If you want to leave her here for the weekend, I'll come in twice a day to look after her"!!!!  She said "You understand no one will be here with her the rest of the time, but if you don't feel you want to take her home yet, and the Emergency Hospital isn't an option financially, then we'll leave her here, and I'll come in Sunday and Monday".

I could have kissed her!  I know I'm still going to have to pay for her time, but I'm sure it won't be $1,000.  I was so grateful to her, I didn't know what to say.  I just kept saying "Thank you, thank you!"  Some people are just wonderful, aren't they?

So she called me tonight, Sunday, and said Gracie seems perkier, and is meowing and purring.  She's still not eating, but she seems brighter.  I'm hoping that it was just a bacterial thing, and not anything more serious.

Another bit of good news.  I weighed myself the other day, and I am down another 2 pounds!  13 pounds all together, since I saw Dr Schram.  He said it is a good idea to lose some weight before surgery, so I'm very happy that I've been able to lose some in 2 months.

I also had a lovely day at my daughters yesterday, where she cooked her first turkey dinner!  She was so excited, and had a beautiful table set with my good china that I gave her when I moved into my condo.  We had red wine, and she made a beautiful meal, and dessert.  She said "Well this is going to be your last big turkey dinner before your sugery!", so she went all out.  She's a great little cook, and she's going to make a wonderful mom one day.  I just hope she's right, and that Christmas (and another turkey dinner) doesn't arrive before I have my surgery.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Nancy

Well, today I had to bow out of two volunteer things I had scheduled.  I'm finding that I've taken on too much, and had scheduled myself for too many days.  I hated to do it, but I was sooooo tired, that I just couldn't force myself.  I've been pushing myself to get out more and be more active, but I think I need to be more realistic.  I can't do 5 days a week, even if it is only for a few hours a day.  My fibromyalgia is really acting up, causing me a lot of pain.  I'm only going to do Tuesday and Thursday nights, and Saturdays now.  I'm loving the "job", but it is really stressful, because it's live TV.

I went grocery shopping tonight, and found some more things that are sugar free, and fat free.  I'm so ready for this surgery, but the wait is killing me!!

I went to the psychiatrist today, and gave him a list of things that he needs to cover in the letter for the insurance.  I begged him to do it soon, as this is the last piece of documentation that I need for the insurance.  Hopefully, he'll do it within a few weeks, but he is very backed up on his paperwork.  I also sweet talked the secretary, and asked her to keep an eye out for the paperwork.  I don't want to have surgery too close to Christmas if I can help it, but I'll take it when I can get it!

I'm also getting my hair all cut off next week, so it's like my profile picture again.  I tried growing it out, but I'm getting fed up with it.  My hair is kind of my "thing", and people always remember me because of my hair, but with this longer look, I don't feel like I stand out any more.  Plus, when it's so short, it's easier to do, and doesn't hurt my arms and shoulders to dry and style it.

I read a few good tips on the boards, about getting baby utensils, and smaller plates, so that when I can eat more solid foods, my portions won't look so pitiful.  I'm having trouble drinking the 64 oz. per day of water.  I don't know how I'll manage it once I have surgery.

One of the girls at my dentist's office said she could never have WLS, because she loves food too much.  I told her I used to feel like that too for many years, but I figure I've tasted and eaten just about everything there is to eat, so I'm ready to give it up.  My health is more important than being able to eat huge meals, high fat foods, and sugery things.

Love to all,
Nancy

Well I've been trying to be much more active, so I started volunteering at the local community television station.  I've been having a lot of fun, and meeting some great people.  The problem is, I've been off work for almost 1-1/2 years, and I'm not used to getting out every day.  I have fibromyalgia, and my extra weight is killing my ankles, knees, and back.  But I push myself to do as much volunteering as I can, and then pay for it at the end of the week with fatigue and pain.  I also don't get much done around the condo, like housecleaning!  I hate it.  My place looks like I just moved in, and I'm really anal about the way my place looks.  That gets me down too.

It's only about 2-3 hours each day that I volunteer, and I don't have to give them as much time as I do, but I really enjoy it!  Now I actually have a weekend like normal people, but by the end of the week, I end up aching, sore, and so tired!  It's a good thing I don't have anyone at home depending on me for anything.

I'm sure that being more active has helped me lose the 10 pounds I've lost so far, and my mood is so much better because now I feel valuable to someone, or something (other than my family of course).  It's a hard decision to make, because I love volunteering, but I wonder if maybe I'm over doing it.  It's hard to know when to give in, and when to push myself.  I guess as long as I can handle it, I'll keep going, because the benefits outweigh the bad things for now, and I have to get used to moving.

I don't know about other people, but I find when I'm just home alone I can get really down.  I get bored.  I'm supposed to be quitting smoking, but when I get stressed, or lonely, or bored, I smoke.  So it's probably better for me to be out of the house as much as I can, because I don't smoke anywhere except at home.

I also need to go grocery shopping, and I'm too lazy to do that too!  I think I might go to the 24 hour Wal-Mart and get some groceries tonight or tomorrow, when it's quieter in the store.  I use one of those little electronic buggies they have, and zip around the store in no time.  I can be home and back in about an hour and a bit.  But it's raining, and I'm just so achy right now, I'll have to talk myself into it! LOL

I'm also kind of bummed because my OHIP approval letter came back to the doctor saying they needed more information!  Boooo Hooooo!!!!  I have to get more documentation showing different things, from different doctors, so that will take time, AND cost me money.  I guess I thought it would be more straightforward than it has been.  I'm so disappointed! :(

I have an appointment on Thursday for a psych evaluation from a doctor, and then I'll need a letter from him to OHIP, saying I'm stable, and I understand the difficulties of life after WLS.  God only knows how long that will take.

I have ultrasound results which show I have an umbilical hernia, and that I have a fatty liver, but other than that, everything is fine.  My stress test was perfect :), and my blood pressure is normal.  I want to lose this extra weight BEFORE I start having heart problems, or getting diabetes, or high blood pressure.

On a more positive note, I bought myself a Wii system, with the Dance Dance Revolution game.  I figured it's cheaper than a treadmill, and I didn't want a treadmill in my living room anyway! LOL  I also bought the CSI game, to keep my hands busy at night, so I won't smoke as much.  I can't do anything like knitting or crochet, because my hands hurt too much from repetitive motion, but I love to dance, so I'm hoping the DDR will get me moving. I also bought the Sports package, but haven't tried anything out yet except the CSI game.  Just hooking the darn thing up had me sweating! LOL :)

I also thought about getting the Wii Fit with the balance board.  Then I can try Yoga, and some of the other sports, but I thought I'd leave it for Christmas, or my birthday on October 30th.

I was really hoping to have my surgery by my birthday, but now I'll have to shoot for the end of November I guess.  Maybe even New Years?  Please Lord let it be before New Years!

Hope everyone out there is doing great, and getting good news!

Take care,

Nancy

.

Today I got 2 bits of great news! 

First, I passed my cardiology stress test!!  Yay me!!!  Only one more thing I'm waiting for now, and that's my OHIP approval.  Hopefully I should have that within a few weeks or less.

 

Second, I received a letter saying the government has approved me for the disability tax credit!!  That saves me money on my taxes, and also helps me out with the insurance company.  Once I have surgery, and get my life back, I know my pain will decrease tremendously.  Hopefully I'll be able to go back to my job then, and won't need any more disability tax credit!! I'll be happy to pay the extra taxes when I'm thin again.

 

My goal has been to have my surgery before the New Year.  The way things are going, it looks like I'm going to make it.  This is so exciting, I wish I had someone at home to share it with, but I don't, so I'll be making my phone calls tomorrow!

 

Take care everyone,

Nancy

It's been quite a while since I've been on the site.  About a month.  It's been quite a hectic month so far, as I've begun volunteering at the local community television station, which has been a lot of fun.  I do that about 4 days a week for a couple of hours a day.  It gets me out of the house, and I'm meeting new people and doing fun things.  Much better than the way I was before.

 

Tomorrow I go to the cardiologists for a stress test.  Dr Schram wanted it done to make sure my heart is strong enough for surgery.  I've been worrying about "passing" the test, considering I'm hugely overweight, start panting with the slightest exertion, and have pain in my knees and back!  My doctor told me the test is just to make sure the blood is passing through my heart OK.  He said the cardiologist is aware he's not testing someone who it at their ideal weight and physically fit!  He's right of course, so why do I worry?  Because I don't want anything to interfere with me being able to have the GB surgery!!

 

I weighed myself tonight, and I'm down 9 pounds.  Yay me!!  I've really cut down on what I'm eating, not on purpose really, but just because I'm so much busier now, I'm not sitting around the house with my face in the fridge every 20 minutes.  I also gave up the iced tea that I used to drink by the gallon.  I was addicted to the stuff, and it's 70 calories per glass, so by switching to water with lemon slices in it, I'm sure it's helped me tremendously.

 

I'll post once I get my results from the stress test. Hopefully I'll get my OHIP approval soon, and then it will just be waiting for an appointment date for surgery!!

Regards,

Nancy