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When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King? Tuesday, November 21, 2006 nov 29th till december 2 0r 3 0r 4th nov 29th till december 2 0r 3 0r 4th whoever reads its cool if you can come thats awesome if you cant then be there in prayer for me in your own regards that would be awesome be lifting me in me in payer for a safe surgery i am going to t eh hospital nov 29th at 7:15 am and in sugery at 9:15 if ou cant come then please be in prayer that the surgery goes fine im a little nervous but thats ok its normal if you can come i should be in my room by at leaqset 2 pm on the 29th so bring movies or something im sure i will be bored to deatha nd my abdemon will be aching hahahahhahahah Currently listening : Second Circle By Enter the Worship Circle Release date: By 15 July, 2002 Monday, November 20, 2006 listen Listen to the song here in my heart a melody I start but can't complete Listen to the sound from deep within Its only beginning to find release Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen I am alone at a crossroads I'm not at home in my own home And I've tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what You've made of me I followed the voice, you gave to me But now I've gotta find my own You should have listened There was someone here inside Someone I thought had died So long ago Oh I'm screaming out And my dreams will be heard They will not be pushed Aside or turned Into your own [ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ] All 'cause you won't listen [chorus] Listen I am alone at a crossroads Listen to the song here in my heart a melody I start but can't complete Listen to the sound from deep within Its only beginning to find release Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen I'm not at home in my own home And I've tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what You've made of me I followed the voice, you gave to me But now I've gotta find my own You should have listened I don't know where I belong But I'll be moving on If you don't, if you won't Listen to the song here in my heart A melody I start, but I will complete Now I am done believing you You don't know not what I am feeling I'm more than what you've made of me I followed the voice you think you gave to me But now I got to find my own - my own man beyonce has an amazing voice i wish you all could hear theis song im not one for show tuens its a song from the upcoming dreamgirls move with beyonce knowlws jennefier hudson and eddie murphy ans jamie foxx anyway as i am nearing the day f my astric bypass suregery it gives me encouragement t for so long i have been putting trust in man and not in christ himself and hhaving been living live for myself so yes God can use secular songs to minister to Gods children 7:18 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove Tuesday, November 07, 2006 Nothing taste good as thin feels so her it has been a week of trials and tribulation . Things at work are more stressful then ever seeing i am about to be off for the next 4-8 weeks . i have Pre Op the nest 2 days 7th and 8th then on nov 13 i will be having the Vena cova filter put in me so i do not get any blood clots then after that on the 29th of November @ 5 am i Check myself @7:30 am for check in an surgery at 9:10 am my mind is taken back to all the to a comment i once read Nothing taste good as thin feels it will be my new mantra for my new life Monday, October 09, 2006 CAREER OBJECTIVE CAREER OBJECTIVE To utilize my over five years experience as a volunteer youth worker in a Christ-centered church community which views youth ministry as a vital component of its greater mission, and seeks to establish a ministry team that will build disciples through relational ministry, and solid teaching. PHILOSOPHY With God..s guiding hand, I believe I will be able to lead and direct this ministry. I..ve been involved in Junior and Senior High School ministry for the past 7 years, and have had a lot of experience with running weekly programs, teaching Bible studies, speaking at camps and schools, and training students in evangelism. I believe the key to a successful ministry is to base it on Biblical truths and God..s love. A balanced ministry of grace and truth through the power of Jesus Christ will truly change the hearts of teens. A successful youth program seeks a balance between structured and unstructured programming; striving to involve youth, parents, clergy and lay leadership. With a lot of bible based teaching, great music, ridiculously fun activities you create an environment that encourages youth to share freely of themselves, ask questions that trouble them, and learn what its like to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Testimony During the summer of 1996, my little sister, Holly Danielle, became very ill and was hospitalized for several weeks...The doctors had no clue of her problem until specific tests revealed she was being poisoned. In an effort to obtain Holly's father's attention, my mother was administering a drug to her, thus making her ill...the doctor's reported the incident to the police who arrested my mother and removed my sister from our home. My mother was thus sentenced to five years in prison, thereby leaving me 'alone' at the age of l6. I became an independent high school student, living in my own apartment, working some 40 hours a week just to survive and go to school. At that time I turned to the only salvation I knew - alcohol and drugs - , but you see, this salvation was only temporary and the next morning I would still be in the same situation as before. a friend invited me to accompany her to Young Life. I accepted the invitation and became involved in Young Life; was a regular at their meetings; and attend the summer camp. There, a seed was planted in my heart and a couple weeks after Young Life Camp .I Fell into love with Christ. I knew I wanted to make a difference in my school for Christ. Boy! It was very difficult. I was known in high school as 'the guy who's Mom is in jail and has his own apartment...and he has a party every weekend". My 'so-called friends' once called me dawg homie, whatever to Bible Boy, but that didn't stop me I wanted to work with teens. In my search for colleges, I discovered Columbia International University where I attended and obtained my degree. CIU has been great for giving me a Biblical perspective on the world. I praise God for the spiritual aspect of this school. I became a volunteer leader for our church's youth group and one night, I was returning from our youth program, traveling thru a down pouring rain , and an 18 wheeler jack-knifed on the interstate in front of me and my car went underneath it. I spent 40 minutes underneath that truck, unable to move. I just remember singing 'Jesus Loves me"..and prayed for Him to please give me peace. He did. Still to this day, I do not remember calling our youth pastor with whom I was working, and saying 'this is big Nate..I got into a wreck. I'm bleeding bad and I'm underneath an 18 wheeler. Meet me at the hospital". I only came out with a broken right wrist, broken leg and a bundle of bruises, spending one week in the hospital. The ER staff said had my head been 4 inches up, it would have been severed. I had plenty of time to look a my life. I had a chance to press 'pause' on my life. I had time to think about why I am here on earth and how I can be most effective for God. My life and the circumstances God has allowed me to experience have opened me up for ministry, in a unique and creative way. I believe God started to do this in me when I was 18 at which time a man named 'Vic', who supervised christian shows at a place called 'The Warehouse"...took me under his wings and taught me how to promote shows; read riders for musicians and taught me how to deal with booking agents. When I was 19, he left The Warehouse. I was assigned to handle the last 7 shows they had planned. This is where I believe God started to work with me about where He is leading me. I saw a lot over those years working with musicians. Here in Columbia, I am an independent promoter. I do shows at 3 different venues, depending on the type of show it is. I do shows at CIU, a Bible College where I bring Youth pastor friendly rock bands. I have worked with "Deep Water", "Ten Shekel Shirt", "Andrew Peterson", "Justified: ' "Pillar", "Skillet", "Jeremy Camp", "Telecast", 'Doc Summers Band", "Jill Philips", Randall Good Game Puddleglum" "AKA, The Swift". I do shows at a bar called New Brookland Tavern. There I have worked with Starflyer 59, Stretch Armstrong, Cool Hand Luke, Lights for Nero, Evoka, Monday in London, Poison the Well, Hopes Fall and many others. I do shows designed for teens at "Jeremiah's House". . many parents do not want their children attending the taverns, thus being the reason Jeremiah's House is chosen. In the Past year I have began My Own Venue called the address .So far this year i have worked with edison glass , Before Normandy ,Goodnight providence At A Downfall , Dizmas . Sanctus real ,Firefly summer , half past forever I have worked with Blindside, LutiKriss (now known as Norma Jean), Stairwell, Dear Ephesus, Five Iron Frenzy as well as the great band of Switch Foot and Pod, for whom I did their first nationally released c.d. show. How have I changed since I met Christ? T o make it short I don..t use Gods Grace in vain !! I have chosen to cling to Jesus Christ, Himself versus my own heart. He is my strength and my portion, forever. I am a new creation. The old things being passed away. I am in a continual process to be made holy that won't end until I meet Jesus and become fully holy in His sight. there is nothing I can do that deserves Christ love. All I can do is receive it and rest in His grace that I don't deserve. I said all that, to say this, I have changed because there was a renewal in my heart.. so I cling His Word. I am no longer am a slave to sin but a slave to Christ so I have new ownership and will trust and obey Him no matter what the costs are. I am reminded of who I am . . . a child of Christ. No longer an orphan. I am striving everyday to be a child of God and not act like an orphan of God. We Live in God..s Grace so we need to live that way . My philosophy on teaching relevant messages to teens about God using their world is. I don't teach - the Gospel teaches for me. I am the salt and if I lose my saltiness then my whole ministry is gone. Salt is good for two things - preserving things and adding flavor. So, as a believer in this progressive culture we live in I seek to preserve the things of God and to add flavor to the culture that surrounds me. This is who i am - I am a person who is constantly and consistently growing madly and deeply with God, extending thru the relationship of my future wife, children and lost and hurting teens. To be a person who is consistently seeking Holiness, who is open and readily available to listen to the needs of others and be an encouragement to all. It is my passion to help people discover the real value and benefit that God offers through His church. In every area of our lives God has set up the Church to assist us into deeper and more satisfying living. It is the belief that for too long the church has been out of touch and out of date and out of touch with the people. My desire is to show people through modern methods that God, His Word and His Church can be a valuable source of help in direction and inspiration to our lives. That is the big vision. My vision on teaching (We must teach Truth - no exceptions ) "It is not about religion it is about truth. It is amazing to me today how many people do not want truth. They are not out to discover, learn or come to a conclusion, but they are out to disprove and fight anything they do not want to believe. This is where selfishness and stupidity reaches their highest point, when truth becomes what you want it to be. It is not a matter of what one wants to believe or does believe. It is a matter of what is true regardless of any human mind existing. It is a matter of what is and has always been regardless of how it has or has not been represented. Truth is truth is truth. " I appreciate 2nd Timothy 3:16-17 ..Every Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for convincing, for correction of error, and for instruction in right doing so that the man of God may himself be complete and may be perfectly equipped for every good work... We are transformed people, transforming people. We are created for the Glory of God. We need to share and radiate His renown.Let our Yes be yes and our no be no . I hope this has helped you know me Little bit more . Faith Based work experience South Congaree Assembly God 1999-2000 Senior in high school leading the sunday morning sunday school for the Jr. and senior high youth ministry . Youth council member ( student representative ) Grace Bible Camp Goshen , Va summer of 2000 Camp counselor Taught Environmental and Team Building classes to 2nd -3rd &6th and 7th grade students including Low Challenge Course, Canoeing, Rifleling The Rock Wall, Wild Edibles, Fish, Creepy Critters, Reptiles and Amphibians, Aquatic Life, Pioneer Craft Fair as well as various age appropriate activities and events. Helped coordinate program with other departments including Kitchen, Dining Room, Guest Services, Maintenance, and Accommodations. Coordinated daily evening programs such as Skit Night, Relays, and Campfire. Created weekly schedules for camp sessions, including activities, events, meals, worship sessions, and bed times. Faith Presbyterian Irmo , SC February 2001 - July 2002 JR HIGH CO LEADER .. Over 60% of our youth attendance was from outside of the church body, causing a nice growth in family membership. .. Ran weekly meetings for middle school groups. Programs included worship, various games, messages, prayer and group discussions. .. Active and dynamic usage of relational ministry with large involvement in youth life, attending sports activities, arts activities, community events and private events. .. Active in planning all Programs for Faith Presbyterian Irmo , SC July 2002 - August 2004 Summer Intern Senior High Volunteer Leader Summer Drama team coordinator Summer Program small group Leader one on one discipleship Building and contact work Summer mission trip leader St, Andrews Presbyterian church Irmo ,SC September 2005 - August 2006 Volunteer Youth worker Youth Ministry council member .. Supervised two separate weekly meetings for the middle and high school youth programs which included various games, activities, sermons and large group discussions, worship and prayer. .. Organized, implemented and participated in regular large group activities including weekend long trips, retreats and one day events. .. Relational ministry used as cornerstone of spreading gospel. Was very involved in attending events, seeing the kids in sports and drama, spending quality time over meals and junk food talking about life. The Address ,Irmo SC , VA Jan 2006 .. Current Venue manger Directed a large (200 + youth a night ) program including Concerts To reach out to teens in the columbia area .. Established a 10 member adult ministry team to assist in running The address , organizing events and communicating with the the teens that come to the venue .. Created and delivered sermons and led large group discussions youth worship, message, and prayer. .. Organized, implemented and participated in a mission trip, and many large scale community service activities. .. Creation of a website and development of an online community which functioned as a vital communication vehicle,PR campaign and a fantastic advertisement for youth group. Included registration into Online Database, community newsletters, Forums, Chat rooms, online Calendar of Events, online registration for events through the Database. Education Columbia International University BA,Youth Ministry /Bible Focus; Large & Small Group Communications, Technology Communications, Family Education One on One discipleship Specific Skills Let me begin at saying that I am not Skilled Worship Leader or Guitar player or Vocalist I am good at FInding people that are and i plug them in to the ministry whether its a teen or someone from the church or outside of the church i will get someone there . well used Public Speaking skills Interpersonal and Relational Ministry focus Communications Education, studies focused in Large Group and Small Group Communications Web designer, utilizing the internet to create community and communication opportunities ..Videography, which includes filming & editing. ..I am familiar with MS Office programs and using PowerPoint presentations. ..I enjoy writing my own curriculum and developing video clips for messages Computer Expert, used in all facets of ministry Secular Work experience Time Warner Cable Direct sales rep 2005- present i am responsible for for selling cable television services in person to potential subscribers living in the franchise area. I also solicit assigned sales territory and solicit orders in person for new or upgraded cable services. Solicit customers.. interest in purchasing cable television services by verbally communicating to customers in person. Answer general information inquiries for customers on prices, programming, billing, and installations. Will explain and educate customers regarding cable products, programming choices, prices, services, and upgrades. i am also responsible for learning sales techniques in order to promote, sell, and close sales. I have have the ability to work independently and exercise good judgement. i responsible for door-to-door, and handle face-to-face sales issues and challenges. Roly Poly Inc. Manager of 2 locations 2004- 2005 I am responsible for i am responsible for Maintain relationships with customers and staff. Update and use job-related knowledge.Schedule staff work hours and activities.Evaluate health and safety practices against standards.Organize, plan, and prioritize.Make decisions and solve problems concerning menus and staff.Judge the quality of food, preparation, and job applicants. Process and analyze information when scheduling and budgeting.Record information about inventory and health practices.Handle food, utensils, and bookkeeping materials. Monitor food preparation and cleaning methods. Implement ideas or products. Get information from customers, employees, and inventory records. Inspect equipment and food deliveries. Monitor and oversee purchases, menus, staff, and payroll. Guide, direct, and train staff. Coordinate the work and activities of staff. Perform administrative activities such as scheduling, budgeting, and payroll. Communicate with customers, sales reps, and suppliers. Jammin Java Barista 2001-2004 I am responsible for i am responsible for Engaging all Guests in a positive, proactive manner Properly assemble food and drink . * Follow all POS and Cashier responsibilities * Maintain a clean and healthy work environment * Properly maintain and clean all Wine and Coffee Bar equipment * Keep station stocked including backups, according to station checklists Bobby Allison Wireless wireless consultant 1999-2001 i am responsible for i am responsible for Cell phones, services and accessories at management approved pricing. Achieve sales and customer service objectives. Handles administrative aspects of the sale including: completing customer contracts, verifying identification, running credit, preparing customer files, addressing local market promotions, pulling product from inventory, completing warranty paperwork, taking customer payments and filing finished orders to ensure accurate and efficient processing. Provides information on products, accessories, service features, pricing plans, roaming and data. Interface with other departments on customer behalf when necessary. Drives revenue by communicating the benefits of products, services, features, rate plans and special offers to new and existing customers as appropriate. Provides world-class experience by resolving customer complaints and/or by referring customer to supervisor or proper department for resolution. Focuses on retaining customers by providing updated product and promotional information. Sonic drive inn Cook 1995-1999 I am responsible for checking food to make sure of its quality regulate temperatures of ovens, grills and other cooking equipment prepare food for cooking cook food by a range of methods (i.e. baking, braising, frying, roasting or steaming) divide food into portions and make sure that the food is well presented clean food preparation areas and equipment store food in temperature-controlled facilities receive and store supplies make sure kitchen is hygienic and functional plan menus and estimate food requirements prepare food to meet special dietary requirements train and supervise other staff. Thursday, September 28, 2006 2nd upadate preop gastric bypass So here it is its 12:10 in the morning sitting down for the day and recollecting my thoughts . tomorrow I go in to meet with a clinical psychologist he will be making sure i am competent of withstanding the procces and lifelong commitment of gastric bypass. i was very excited to learn at the surgeons office that he thought i would be a perfict fit for the program . for someone who has been overweight all of their life . a chance to not be a shamed when im at the beach you know for so long i have been embarresed to go to these places . the image that is portryed on tv of the is hard when your overweight . so here are some proactical things i am doing in advance for the surgery . i have cut out most of my dairy s i have been having soy and rice milk no high fructose syrup today i went on a tour of the supermarket and just lkooked at the back of the labels , i will be sacrificeing my comfort after this surgery . so i am going to have to rely on christ and my relationships with my friends during this time . for so long i didnt turn to my friends or God i turned to chinese food hahahahaha i am currently getting a trainer through golds gym so i can get use to the surgery i am excited one thing i am doing is Start drinking protein now. itsw something i will need to do agfter the surgery protien shakes and what not aslo here are some rules that must be followed that are not breakable and im going to start now to get use to it please pray and encourage me on this Basic Rules for Weight Loss after WLS: You MUST take your vitamins everyday. A Flintstone in the morning and one at night. A calcium in the morning and one at night. You MUST drink at least 64 ounces of water a day and it doesn't hurt to cut out any sodas that you may be drinking. Remember, consuming caffeine has a negative impact on your water intake. For every ounce of caffeine you consume, you have to drink that much EXTRA water. You MUST exercise 3 to 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes. You MUST have three meals a day. That means you MUST eat breakfast with protein... like ham, sausage, or bacon. You must eat a lunch loaded with protein and you must eat a dinner loaded with protein. Choose good snacks. No snacking on carbs like chips, crackers, and/or candy. Snack on fruits and/or beef jerky. STAY AWAY from carbs! Rice, bread, cereal, flour, etc. Attend support group meetings. Be honest with yourself. Are you really doing ALL of these things? Vitamins, Water, Exercise, Protein, and Staying away from carbs in COMBINATION is what causes our weight loss. Remove just one attribute and your weight loss will slow or completely stop. Wednesday, September 27, 2006 update .1 on gasstric bypass today was interesting ! i am a prime canidate and the doctors began the paper work for me to get the surgery thursday i will be meeting with a psycologist to meet with me to amek sure im not mental hahahah just an evalutaion i went in to meet with the surgeon as i was in the waiting room . sitting there . lookng around at the fat people and the used to be fat people . it was interesting . then in walked a 475 lb lady looking scared for her life and was asking to see the doctor for a emergency one of her staplesw needed to be taken out and it was causing her discomfort . i talked with this hot 32 year old mom who was smoking hot i might say she said that after one week they take out the staples and that was normal . she use to way 345 and only being 5 foot 3 tall for a girl i guess . then there was a gentlmen who was my size and we was at his one year weigh in and he was already down to 185 as i went in i had lots of questions . like i heard the complications rates were higher in men so we decided when i do the surgery i will have a stint in both legs for about a week so if there is a blood clot it wont go to my lungs a insurance plan of sorts they do that for all patients over 350 lbs thats cray to say that in public m my weigh in as of sept 22 was 400 last week it was 410 so i lost 10 lbs in 5 days which is awesome . i have quit drinking milk and moved to the soy milk i dont eat after 7 pm and i try to work out at least 3 times a week . its hard to get motivated by yourself so if anyone weants to go work out with me i have buddy passes from Golds gym in irmo for those of you think this is unsafe . so is driving thers more automoblie deaths then deaths due to Gastric by pass . it is a major surgery and there are risk . so my prayer request is this 1 i would begin choosing my diet and exercise plan soona nd implement them before the surgery . 2. insurance would give me the go ahead 3. My friends can understand the reason im doing this not just to be skinny but i want the oppurtunity to do things i have been excluded from in the past . Being fat in a skinny world Sucks and i am doing something about it . i want to be the best (future ) Husband and father i want to be ther e for y family and to my extened family My future youth group i want to go skiing and snowboarding and be active just like everyone else . 4. that God would calm my nerves when i am expalining this surgery to family and friends 5. That god would terach me how to use spell check Currently listening : Trainspotting: Music From The Motion Picture By Various Artists Release date: By 09 July, 1996 Sunday, June 18, 2006 not blogged in a very long time Current mood: cheerful Category: Blogging well i have not blogged in a very long time . 1. i have been very consumed with work when being consumed with work i have come t the realization that I put alot of things to the side alot of relationships i even put on hold with friends and family and even my heavenly father . the past couple of days have been hard on me im 25 years old and i have not dated anyone since i was in high school my senior year . When i was a senior I felt THe lord (without sounding cheesy ) impress on my heart not to pursue a relationship with the opposite sex i just wasnt ready so i made a promise the next woman i kissed would be on my wedding day . yes its old fashioned and really i dont give a damn if anyone tinks thats cheesy . i would hope ou would thinks its honorable . figuring alot of my old relationships were dishonrable ok so i am at the age where friends are married engaged or even having baby ( congrats chris and stacy and richard who i have not seen in along long time ) i am now at a standtill thinking im i worthy enough to be a called a husband or a father ! and i am not one of those guys that has alot of options out there for love . The fact that we all have to deal with the lonlieness factor in life sucks but its is an emotion that i feel we must go through in life . how lonley was jesus when hes bride crucified him and how lonely the heavenly father was when he watched his son be crucified by a whore ( we are the whores OUr sin ) anyway i have had some time thinking about life and it suck when your not in control i promise i am not a cheesy person here is a lyric from i pledge my head to heavenby keith green( THE ORIGIal OG) Well, I pledge my head to heaven for the Gospel, And I ask no man on Earth to fill my needs. Like the sparrow up above, I am enveloped in His love, And I trust Him like those little ones, He feeds. Well I pledge my wife to heaven, for the Gospel, Though our love each passing day just seems to grow. As I told her when we wed, I'd surely rather be found dead, Than to love her more than the one who saved my soul. I'm your child, and I want to be in your family forever. I'm your child, and I'm going to follow you, No matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost. Well I pledge my son to heaven for the gospel. Though he's kicked and beaten, ridiculed and scorn. I will teach him to rejoice, and lift a thankful praising voice, And to be like Him who bore the nails and crown of thorns. I'm your child, and I want to be in your family forever. I'm your child, and I'm going to follow you, No matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost. Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost. Well I've had the chance to gain the world, and to live just like a king, But without your love, it doesn't mean a thing. Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost, Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost. Well I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven, I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven, for the gospel. so when i think about the day i have my wife and kid i feel i would have to lay my issac down to God and am i really ready for that type of sacrifice i have no idea why i feel the need to post this on the web but oh well i am a glutton fr punishment keep it real folks Currently listening : Ultimate Collection (CD & DVD) By Keith Green Release date: By 19 November, 2002 Wednesday, March 22, 2006 god has opened a door for ministry my new venue THE ADDRESS I have some amazing news! God has connected me to an amazing church that has opened its door to me. I am beginning a Concert venue at east lake community Church called THE ADDRESS It comes from acts 17 when Paul goes to speak to the council of wise men. They are very religious and very smart men. As Paul was walking along the street he saw many alters..and inscriptions there was one inscription that said to an unknown God. He addressed them by saying you have been worshipping him without knowing who he really is. well I am here to tell you about who this unknown God is. He is the God that made the world and everything in it. he is everything he gives us air to breathe he does live in man made temples, human hands can do nothing to fulfill his needs his purpose in saying this was gourd in acts 17:22 His purpose in all of this was that the nations should seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him -- though he is not far from any person the purpose of the address is for teens to be infuenced to seek after God and perhas feel their way toward him and find him - though he is not far from any one of us our First show will be april 21st and the bands will be announced by the end of this week Be in payer and come and check the address out much love Nathan whitmore Friday, March 03, 2006 life+paiN=strength Current mood: anxious I dont know why i write these blogd i never know if anyone reads these things or what not .Why do blogs exist do they exist for the writer to let go of their feelings or is it for the readers and their voyeuristic minds who knows . . well i am 25 i have been doine with bible college for 2 years . and i still have not found a monistry position . If anyone knows me and what i am about one its teens and 2 its music . i may never be in a band or what not But if i can encourage men and woman of faith in a band to reach their generation for christ then i truly believe my purpose of life will be completed also my heart is for teens . i want to be a youth minister at a church where i can come in contact with teens that want to use their gifts and provide a place where they can hone their skills of playing live by putting them on a bill with a touring band and what not . so to find a church that is ok with that type of putreach . knowing that most of the kids would come to that event and not come to the youth group . But knowing those kidfs that come are being ministered to . i want to be part of a church that is relacant to the clture it is in . and that is so hard to find . its hard to see people younger then i am becoming youth pastors before i do . it eats at my pride . and that hurts snif sniff so those who are are my friends please pray that i dont get dicouraged as i often do . pray that God will make a way nate oh yeah spell check is for losers

Listen to the song here in my heart a melody I start but can't complete Listen to the sound from deep within Its only beginning to find release Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen I am alone at a crossroads I'm not at home in my own home And I've tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what You've made of me I followed the voice, you gave to me But now I've gotta find my own You should have listened There was someone here inside Someone I thought had died So long ago Oh I'm screaming out And my dreams will be heard They will not be pushed Aside or turned Into your own [ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ] All 'cause you won't listen [chorus] Listen I am alone at a crossroads Listen to the song here in my heart a melody I start but can't complete Listen to the sound from deep within Its only beginning to find release Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen I'm not at home in my own home And I've tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what You've made of me I followed the voice, you gave to me But now I've gotta find my own You should have listened I don't know where I belong But I'll be moving on If you don't, if you won't Listen to the song here in my heart A melody I start, but I will complete Now I am done believing you You don't know not what I am feeling I'm more than what you've made of me I followed the voice you think you gave to me But now I got to find my own - my own man beyonce has an amazing voice i wish you all could hear theis song im not one for show tuens its a song from the upcoming dreamgirls move with beyonce knowlws jennefier hudson and eddie murphy ans jamie foxx anyway as i am nearing the day of my gastric bypass suregery it gives me encouragement t for so long i have been putting trust in man and not in christ himself and hhaving been living live for myself so yes God can use secular songs to minister to Gods children