My story is very typical
of a lifetime dieter
I have been overweight for as far back as I can remember. My earliest traumatic memory goes back to around grade 3 or 4 when I was chosen over everybody else to be Santa Claus in the class Christmas play. You can imagine why I was picked-- I was the chubbiest kid.
Although it didn't seem like a big deal at the time, I can also remember shopping for "Husky" jeans, way back in the early years.
On the first day of high school, in 1982, I had my picture taken with my friend Michelle in my back yard. Some time that day, the topic of weight came up and I asked her how much she weighed. When she replied that she weighed 105, my whole world collapsed. She was two years older than me, and I weighed more than she did. I was a whopping 110!! That's right, I said ONE HUNDRED AND TEN!!! And so began the viscious cycle of crash dieting. I had to lose that extra five pounds -- I WAS OBESE!!
I tried diet after diet, starvation, exercise; you name it, I did it. Each time I went off the diet, I deemed myself a failure and went on huge junk food binges, thus packing on even more weight than when I started. This cycle continued for the next 25 years, and here I am.
I have gone through the name calling, the comments, the looks, and the discrimination that comes with being overweight.
The words "FAT COW" will haunt me forever.
"HARPOON THAT WHALE" - I heard that one at the roller skating rink I frequented as a teenager.
"MOOOOOO" was yet another.
My self-esteem, self-image and insecurity have been irreparably damaged over the years, mainly because of the abuse I have had to endure, (self-inflicted or otherwise) because of my weight problems.
As the years went by and I got older, I started paying out alot of money for diet centers, weight loss programs, diet pills and gym memberships. Thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent to lose the weight, and here I am--over one hundred pounds more than when I first started dieting all those years ago.
I have come to the decision to have weight loss surgery after seeing the incredible results my sister-in-law has experienced. The day I found out she had the surgery, I said "Oh, I wish I qualified for that." She told me I did. I was under the false impression that I had to be at least 100 lb overweight, and since I was "only" 90 lb overweight, I thought my application would be denied. She explained that it's not the amount of weight you have to lose, they go by your BMI. We checked my weight on a BMI chart, and it calculated to 40.3~I was right on the boderline. After giving it some more thought, I decided that I couldn't afford to take the time off work. (Could I possibly come up with any more excuses???) Well, time went by, and the next time I saw her, I was completely shocked at the progress she was making. I think it was around 4 months post-op and she was down like 80 lb already!! Right away I went home and discussed it with my boyfriend, who has supported me in this decision since I first brought it up to him. I called Margie, (my sister-in-law) the next day and asked her if she thought it would be possible to only take one month off of work if I were able to go back on a modified work plan. She said she knew of other people who have done that, and said she couldn't see why not. She helped me get started and explained the DS procedure in length to me. I printed out the OHIP form and made an appointment with my family doctor. I had to wait a week and a half to see him, and during that time I went through all the possible scenarios I could face when I saw him. I honestly thought that he would want to refer me elsewhere for this, so I was prepared with the name of the Endocrinologist that Margie used because he went the extra mile for her.
I showed up for my Thursday appointment, shaking in my boots, research in hand. When I told him what I wanted he said "Of course I'll help you with that. I would have helped you a year ago if you had asked me to." As you can well imagine, I was completely flooded with relief. He signed the forms that day, and then my phone started ringing. He had me set up for a sleep test, a stress test, a breathing test, an EKG and a psychiatric evaluation by the next day. I was thrilled knowing that after all these years, after all the pain I have suffered, that maybe, just maybe, I could beat this thing, once and for all. My next appointment with his nurse was on the following Wednesday where she went over everything with me. We dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's and fed the application into the fax machine. It was a done deal. It was July 30, 2008.
After what seemed like forever, I got the most exciting phone call I have ever gotten~my application for the consultation was approved by OHIP!! I was on my way. It was Tuesday, August 12.
I rushed over to the doctor's office to pick up my approval letter, then booted it home to call the surgeon. After many attempts, I finally got through. I told the secretary that I wanted to make an appointment for my consultation. I had some forms that needed to be filled out before I could see the surgeon, and I told her that I would be coming in on Friday, August 15 with Margie, and I'd drop them off then. She was going in for her 6 month checkup. At that time, I was scheduled for my consultation on Sept. 5. My head was spinning~this was going super fast now.
The next day, Wednesday, I woke up to a message from Margie to call her. She told me that the surgeon's office had called her and told her there was a cancellation on Friday, and they could fit me in while she was there for her appointment. I couldn't believe it!! Less than 2 weeks for the whole process so far! I went for my consult on Friday, Aug. 15 and was told that if my OHIP approval for surgery came back in time, I could have my surgery some time in September.
So here I am ~~ LOOK UP~~I'm still dancing on the ceiling...anxiously awaiting yet another phone call....my confirmed surgery date. The way this has all been falling into place so perfectly, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to get a call saying there has been a surgery cancellation and it's my turn! I won't hold my breath for that one, but my journey has definitely begun. I can finally see a bit of light at the end of this very long, very dark tunnel.