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I guess I expected to continue to loose 3-4 pounds every week, I've lost 60, I've got 50 more to go, but it just seems as iff I'm really slowing down, I am actually increasing my exercise and energy levels, but I am hungry every two hours also, I stay pretty regimental in the food, I dont know I'm just wondering if this is normal it seems like the one thing that Im loosing the most is my hair, more so than weight.  I am healthier and happier.

So I started a new job last Thursday, and proceeded to work 13 hours Friday thru Sunday, I am beat up..the only plus is I lost a pound a day.  The negatives are overwhelming.... I did'nt pack enough food it appears, so I got sweaty and shakey, and there were streches when I worked 8 hours straight with no food... just way to much for me....

Hopefully the pace will slow and I wont feel so sick.

Okay so yesterday was my birthday big 45!  I am really glad I gave this gift to myself, even though I will be paying for years and years to come, actually I think I could have bought two new cars, but I digress.

Its been such an emotional couple weeks, I had to drop my Son off for his tour in Iraq, he is an Infantryman in the Army, my youngest at 19 and my only Son, and quite honestly it is killing me  I miss him so.

Had a really good time at the seminar over the weekend.  Learned lots of good information.  However I did experience "dumping" for the first time TWICE,  I was not ready for the different food and the setting.  I am use to a routine and the amounts of food and type.  I missed Sundays program, but still had a good time Saturday.

I have been at the same weight for the last 2 weeks, and I am getting pretty bummed about it.  I've increased my exercise, compared to not doing anything at all because I was so sick from the pancreatitis.  I'm up and moving and cleaning house and actually did some treadmill work, but the weight stays the same.

What I find odd, is I did'nt have a period this month, but I've had cramps for the last two weeks.  I dont know if I am starting the "change" at 45 or it's a result of the surgery and the stress my body has gone through.

I guess I was one of the few who develope a condition as a result of the surgery.  Mine specifically was pancreatis, very rare but can occur.  It has just made my recovory time more difficult and lengthly.  Meet with Dr Coats who relieved a lot of my concerns, very grateful.

I have spent two weeks in the hospital in excuriating pain becase the surgery inflamed my pancrease. and posssible other issue, however I cant seem to get my Surgeons office to take notice.  I am soooo devestated of how I was treated porior to surgery because I was a cash pay client, now the surgery's over and everyone has their money, I seem to be falling in as an afterthought.  Honestly, I am so ill, sore and sick and there just never seems to be relief in my future.

Honestly I have truly wished I were dead more than not lately.

WOW, buyer beware

Okay so how am I really feeling, nauseated most of the time.  Only slightly sore in the tummy, have been weaning myself off the pain meds.  I havent been able to walk, it's over 100 degrees and the air quaility is awful, I do get up and move around the house, just dont lift much.  Also kinda fatigued I am sure all this will pass.  For some exercise I have my husband take me to the grocery store (we've gone twice now) and it's a cooler environment to walk around in.  Im on pureed portion and found that cantalope has been a very refreshing fruit with my breakfast and lunch.  I tried no sugar added peaches, yuck they smelled like fish to me, go figure.

Oh and for thoese that are wondering Booty is gone, sigh of relief.

Well it's day 6 of having surgery and I have been home two days.  There have been some challenges.  I had a lot of scar tissue inside from a previous hernia surgery,  so my procedure took a little longer than most, but for the most part I think everything is fine.  I should have walked more before the surgery, I am sure this would have helped me more.  Also I gained 20 pounds while in the hospital, all in my butt, my clothes to go home in didnt fit.  This was from the fluids I was given in the hospital and I just couldnt urinate fast enough I would rather have fluid retention versus dehydration.  Okay thats abouht it for today, I stay up but cant focus much on the opain meds.

I really dont know how this web site stuff works.... I think I put my weight tracker up and some pictures... Getting really nervous, I've lost a few pounds being on the pre op diet, mostly all protien, however I have'nt exercised.... I live in Manteca nd the air quality has been so bad from the fires I really dont want to leave the house.... that's a good excuse right?  Actually I am just really busy getting my house in order so I dont stress while I am having surgery, my husband just got out of the hospital for another matter and I want to ensure he is okay too while I am gone.... I guess I'm just stressing right now only a few days to go.