Jackie
10-26-05
While I'm sitting here at my desk, I'm feeling very drowsy. I can't wait until that feeling goes away and I get my energy back. I'm 244.5 lbs and stand at 5'3. I swore I was 5'4. Had my consult on 10-20-05. Thought for sure that I would have to wait atleast 2 to 3 mos for a date. But nope, my doctor is sooooo good to me. He gave me November 23rd. Just going to have to celebrate Thanksgiving a little earlier. Who want's dry turkey anyway. I think the Cheesecake factory is an ideal spot to celebrate, lol. I also have everything else scheduled. Upper GI and Nutritionist on 11-15-05, Psyche (sp) doc on 10-30-05. And my birthday falls on 11-16-05. What a birthday gift, it's only the best gift ever!!!!!
| J | Joyous |
| A | Accurate |
| C | Clever |
| K | Keen |
| I | Influential |
| E | Enjoyable |
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10/31/05
Well moving right along, I had my Psyche Eval today and waited one and half hrs for a 5 minute discussion. Not even a discussion, she asked some questions, like who's the current president, who was president before him, and before him. Recite the months of the year backwards. That was fun. I'm really feeling the effects of being overweight. I walk like I'm pregnant, my clothes are uncomfortably tight. Refuse to buy any more big clothes. I'm already in a 2x. Sometimess I wear a 3x just so it can hang. My mind trick to make myself believe I'm smaller than I am (don't ask). While I'm walking my lower back starts to hurt. I sometimes feel like the way I was when I was pregnant with my 9lbs 3 oz son. I want this thing to happen now, but I know it's all in God's perfect timing, praise Him, praise Him. Next up, Upper GI and anathesiaologist (sp) on 11/15/05.
11-15-05
Well hello again. Just got back from the hospital it is now 4:00pm, been there since 10:am this morning. What a long day. Had the upper GI at 10:30. That was fun. That Barium stuff was'nt so bad, I thought I would have a hard time drinking it, wasnt bad at all. They give you this crystal like fuzzy stuff, and you have to throw it back like having a shot of whiskey, then you follow it with an ounce of water mixed with some stuff to make you gassy. They tell you to try not to burp, but oops couldnt help it, caught me by suprise. Then while your standing up taking an xray, they make you drink that very, very, very thick barium drink that reminds you of Milk of Magnesia. You take 2 or 3 big gulps on command. Then they lay you down while your still on the xray machine. Next they tell you to roll over very slowly so that the Barium drink can coat your stomach in order for them to see it. They showed me what my stomach looked like when it was coated. Very interesting. Okay enough of that. I then went to the lab got my blood drawn, flirted with one of the guys a little bit. Thinking to myself, he's just trying to be nice, but not interested. I also thought, if I was thinner, bet he would be trying to holla at a sistah. Anyway, next up my nutrionist, she was very, very informative. Gave me a list of things I needed to concentrate on for the duration of my weight loss journey. I think it's very feasible. Definately think this can work, as long as I feel no hunger, I'm good to go! Only 2 more appts, anestheisologist (sp) and last appt with Doc until my banding on 11-23-05. Oh, by the way, the nutrionist weighted me, and I'm up 6lbs from 10-20-05. Not bad considering I've been eating my but off, but I'm sure I'm retaining water. Thank goodness Aunt Flo is in town this week, didnt want her visiting during my banding. She gets on my last nerves. I can't wait to get this weight off, I have never been so big in all my life and boy oh boy am I feeling it. I can't walk far until my back starts aching. I have absolutely no energy, having a hard time getting up off the couch. Ugh!
11-17-05
Thank YOU God, for another year, celebrated my 37th birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday to me. Never would have thought in a million years, that my birthday gift would have been having WLS. Grant it, I'm soooo excited that everything is a go. I had the last of my pre-op appt. Had a appt today actually with the nurse practioner regarding my pre-op evalution where she asked me a ton of questions. If I was sure of my decision. I replied I have never been more sure of anything ever in my life, except that God is my Savior, and Jesus died for my sins. Took more blood. Also had an appt today with Dr. Lautz, the only white man I have ever fell in love with. Whose knows, after surgery, he may not be the only one. lol. If he's attractive to meeee, has to be saved, have a job, own car, and own place, then nationality wouldnt matter. Is that an high expectations? nawwww....I'm a good catch. Sorry getting away from myself. Anyway, I'm pretty much all set for 11-23-05 @7:30am. Now for some dissapointing news. My sister who is actually 4 years older than I am, (very close) was suppose to have WLS on 11-23-05 as well. She also had her upper GI series on 11-15-05, but we found out today that the scan saw something. Some mass of some sorts. Dr. Lautz, great physician that he is didnt want to take any chances, so he's ordering another test. They may have to do a biopsy, if they can't tell with another xray. That means, unfortunately, her WLS may have to be prosponed. We're heartbroken, but our faith is strong. If's it's meant to be that it has to be prosponed, we know that God's plan is to be trusted. I really feel sad for her, because we both are going through this together, but we really need to know what this mass is. Dr. Lautz thinks it's nothing to worry about. So if he says its nothing to worry about, we are trying not to worry, easier said than done, right? Let us cast out all doubts! So until next time, prayers are going up!
11-22-05
Yeahhhh, received my insurance approval letter yesterday. I never actually even thought about being denied. I guess Harvard Pilgrim does live up to their expectations in terms of making you feel like your the only one. GO HPHC!!!!! I'm really ready for this, I bought everthing I'm suppose to have for the next week or so. Have my viatimins, protein shake, water, crystal light, Rasberry Ice, is the best, doesnt leave an after taste, yogurt, cottage cheese . I'm even ready to dust off my treadmill. Have you ever noticed that because your overweight, men don't even look your way, and some women will stare! So many things you observe when your fat. But then again, if I don't feel good about myself, how do I expect someone else to feel about me. Oprah loves to say "live your best life", and she's so right, this is not my best, but with God's grace it will be. Enought for now, will update on the other side!!!!!
11-25-05
Can't believe I'm home post-op and Banded. I'm a Banderella. All that planning and waiting. It's finally done. Got home Thanksgiving Day and feeling very gassy, not able to burp yet, but it's coming out the other way, thank goodness it's coming. My Mom had cooked and I was like staring at them eating. My sister asked me why was I staring and I didnt even realize that I was. lol. So I decided to put myself out of the misery and went to bed. If I was'nt banded, that would have been atleast another 10lbs gained easy. I would be eating the left over right now instead of updating my profile. My scars are very sore, I guess that's to be expected. I received 5 incisions. I swore I felt them cutting me when I was suppose to be out cold. Everything happened so fast, next thing I knew I was in recovery. My sister was after me. My doctor was telling everyone that we were the 1st sisters that he's ever done at the same time. When God is by your side, it's by His grace that everything goes as smoothly as possible. My surgery was the 23rd and I was home by 3pm on the 24th. The Doctor asked me what time did I want to go home and I said now. Don't like hospitals, very depressing. Can't sleep no way, every 2 hrs there's always someone there, ready to take your temperature, stick you with a needle, look at your scars or just to come in and talk. So my sister and I was released at the same time. Worked out good for Mom who had to pick us up Thanksgiving Day. Enough for now! I'm going back to bed.
11-30-05
Well today is 1 wk post op and I'm down 10lbs. This 2 wk fluid only is killing me, I hate everything. The shakes, the water, soup, broth. I'm craving food so much. But I'm proud of myself because I'm sticking with it. This is how bad I want to lose it. Got on the treadmill Monday for 20 mins, very slowly. Then yesterday I picked up leaves for 2 1/2 hrs. Might of over did it a little, my scars started itching, lol. But other than that I felt ok. I guess it possible to recover from surgery in a week. Today I feel good, no port pain, no gas, Thank You God, I praise your holy name in the name of Jesus! Go back to work on Monday, Dec 5th. I hope to lose at least another 10, but will be happy with 5lbs.
12-27-05
I'm 4 wks postop and down 17lbs. Of course the 1st time ever actually loosing weight during the holidays. I love my band and I know this is going to work for me. My band tells me what I can and cannot have. I know it doesnt like bread or rice, potatoes. So I respect my band, and I actually not even missing the carbs. I have pretty much sticking to a lot of protein and I think I'm doing very well considering I'm not yet restricted according to my doctor. Did I mention how handsome and sweet he is. I have tons more energy and I actually look forward to doing my 30 min exercise routine, while listening to some soca music. Soca really helps get the adrenaline (sp) pumping. My sister is down 18lbs, remember her, we got banded together. Christmas was great, any time spent with my loving family is great. My sister kept telling me how great I looked, I was like yeah right. I havent seen my brother in a a couple of weeks or so and when I saw him yesterday he noticed a difference right away. He even tried to pick me up, no no, hurts the port to much. Although I'm healing quite nicely, I just can't put any pressure on it. My brother always like to hug and pick me up. I love him so much! My mother even commented on how happy I seem. I guess me being so miserable was always written all over my face. She said I seem to be back to my old bubbly self again. The girl that use to try to make everyone laugh was back. I can't wait to have the old Jackie back, hated who she became! I'm so looking forward to what the new year has in stored.
3-13-06
It's been a while since I posted. I'm down 31lbs thus far and talking about snail mail. I've been at the same weight from about 3 wks now, but I do feel a difference in terms of not having to fight to get fit into my clothes, able to run up the stairs at the train station without getting winded. Just over all more energy, but have you ever felt that you didn't realize how big you really were. Talk about denial. I'm at 220 now and still have ways to go, but I know that right about now I would have gained the weight I losted plus some after sabotaging myself. I've come the realization that I am a emotional eater. I eat when I get fustrated, I eat when I'm feeling sorry for myself. I eat when I feel like I'm not attractive anyway so what's the point. The Lap Band definately keeps me in check. I've had 2 fills so far, I'm at 1.5 cc and scheduled to have another on the 23rd. I definately have restriction in terms of over eating. I find that the things that are high in protein are getting stuck more often. I have to discuss this with my doctor, I'm just scared that he may want to do a unfill. I notice that while I'm eating and when I start to get full not even half way thru the meal, I start to get turned off by the food. It's weird. But anyway, The Lord is my Shephard so onward Christian soldier.
5-25-06
Wow havent posted in a while. I guess mostly because I was getting pissed, discouraged, dissapointed. I was really thinking that this band was not going to work for me and maybe I should have it remove and do the RNY. I could'nt understand what I was doing wrong. I knew for sure I was eating half as much as I use too. But now my hope has been restored with 5th fill. I was pretty much at a plateau with the 2. fill. I received another fill on 5-5-06 bringing me to 2.5 have as of today am down 9lbs. This is all a girl can ever wish for. I am so now totally motivated to work out. The band now rules over my diet. It tell me when to put the fork down and back away. There's no disrespecting the band, because it will put you in your place. After all this time, I now know what eating slowly means, as well as eating until it's nothing but liquid in your mouth before swallowing, because if you don't you will be reprimanded by the band. I'm down 41lbs from 11-23-05. Things are going slow but progressing. I am now greatful for that!!!!
June 25, 2006
I'm feeling really sad today. I'm getting frustrated again. I got a fill the beginning of the month and have not lost anything. I keep fluctuating (sp) between 212 and 209. And what's really pissing me off is I can't hardly eat anything. Everything I eat get's stuck. I'm sure many of you will say I 'm too tight, but honestly I don't want to get an unfill for the fear of gaining the weight back. My family is here on vacation and ofcourse, there's food left and right. I get pissed because when I try to eat any of it, I end up in the bathroom and everyone looks at me and just shake their head. I feel like crying right now. I honestly don't know what to do. Maybe this band thing is not for me!!!!!
9-11-06
I rejoice in Jesus name! Im finally, finally in the onederlands. I currently weigh 194. I't's been a rough year, but God kept me standing, ready to take on the world. That's how I feel right now,
so empowered. I joined a gym and run on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and also run in the afternoon with my sister atleast 2x a week. Who would have thunk it in a million years that I would be addicted to running. Once I got control of my breathing, it got easier and easier. I would have never been where I am today if it had not been for the surgery. I don't regret a thing. I'm still at 2.7 cc and refuse to get a fill. I'm actually eating pretty good without it getting stuck, and I think I finally got it. It's not about being so tight that your restricted totally, it's about being restricted enough where you can eat a little bit and feel satisfied. I realized that when I ate less and less, I plateaued more and more. You would think that the weight would just melt off since your hardly eating anything, wrong! For me, I have to eat, and if I got a fill, I probably wouldn't being able to digest anything. I have an appt with my doctor on Thursday, and I think I will not being getting a fill, I'm losing an average of atleast 7lbs a month. I don't want to do anything to mess that up. Maybe if I stop losing I'll get a fill, but for right now, life is good!
11-27-06:
Well here we are, 1 year anniversary and I'm down 66lbs. Althought it has been a slow year, but very successful. I havent been able to keep up with the post, because I am living and loving life. I have no time to do the little things. If I'm not out jogging with Sis, then I'm out shopping for new clothes, etc. It's funny, you don't realize how big you really were until you see the pictures. I don't think a day goes by without someone complimenting me on my weight loss. I've been trying for a year now, and sometimes I kind of forget how much weight I loss until someone I haven't seen in a while would make a comment, and I'm like oh yeah, thanks! (smile). It really shows up on me because of my height, I guess. It's been a long journey, and I still have another 40-45 lbs to lose. I joined a gym, and I am so addicted to running, I have to change things up instead of doing the same thing. Sometimes my sister I will run in the afternoon as well, especially on the weekends we really work it out. I remember the time when I wouldnt come out the house because, 1. Trying to find something to wear, 2. feeling ashamed. 3. feeling very uncomfortable and insecure. I was miserable. Now I'm in love with life. This is my second chance. Every year I recalled saying to myself, my next birthday I'm going to lose weight, and every year, watch myself get bigger and bigger. But not this year baby, I hit 65lbs on November 16th. I cooked for Thanksgiving this year. Speaking of which, I have so much to be Thankful about. I got my kitchen renovated, bought a new car, 2006 Rav4, so much fun, and I'm having the time of my life. I am so much in love with God! I really feel his favor on my life. Anyway, last year this time, my sister and I came home from the hospital Thanksgiving day. We sat around miserable looking at everyone else eating. The highlight that day was to pass gas! Anyway, I was still sitting around watching everyone eat, because my band wanted to act up and not let me eat more than a couple of teaspoons of food. That's okay, because not only did I not gain weight this year, I actually lost a pound. Hallejuah! Well I think this is enough for now, I can go on and on, but no time, no time! I was coming from the gym today, and walking out in high heal boots, and was getting the look, that I would have never imangine I would ever get again. That feels darn good! 2-27-07 My last fill was on February 15th and weighed in at 187.5. I was pissed so I told him to fill me to 2.8 which is extremely tight for me, but I don't care at this point. Can't even swallow my spit. I told my doc I want to reach my goal of 135 by the June, he looked at me and smirked. Well I'm down 10lbs from then, I have another appt on March 15, I don't think I'm going to get an unfill. He's not touching my band, last time I got an unfill, I went from 2.7 to 2. No wonder I gained the weight. I knew I was eating more than normal when I can digest 3 pancakes in less than an 1/2 hour, I knew something was wrong. And I always felt hungry. I'm sad and I know I'm going about it the wrong way. I'm just so discouraged right now, because I want to lose the weight so bad. I am down to 177 from 251, and am in a size 11-12, 9-10. Sometimes I forget where I came from when people make comments because it's been so long. Very weird. At times I still feel fat, how did I cope when I was bigger. Oh yeah, I was depressed, sad, lonely, paranoid. Lifeless, back aches, no energy, antisocial, oh boy! The lapband changed my life. So why am I still frustrated?
4-10-07 I'm so close to goal. I am now officially 169lbs. I can run 7 miles. Hallejuah! Who would have thunk it! Last time I saw my doctor I told him I want to be at goal by June and he gave me a smirk. Well I'm 34 lbs away, and that's why he's the professional. But that's ok. Because I look good, feel great, and I think my love life may come back sometime this year. It's been dormant for a little while now, but my husband is patiently waiting to meet me. God knew I had to deal with some issues and get myself together before he can send me my companion for life. I had to first seek His kingdom before all good things come on to me. Because you see God is a jealous God, He doesn't like it when you put things before Him. I am so looking forward to the summer time so I can put on all those cute little outfits that I never could have imangine putting on in a million years if it had not been for this surgery. It's funny though because just about everyday someone tells me I'm melting away to nothing and when I tell them how big I was they don't believe me, and then ofcourse they want to know how I did it. I can't reveal my resources, don't feel like explaining myself and the reasons why I made this drastic decision. Just don't feel like being scutinized and some telling me I could have done it on my own. I'm not lying when I say I don't eat as much and exercise more. Whatever it's all about me and what's best for me. So hurrah for the Lapband. I'm working my tool!
6-7-07
As of today I am officially 5 pounds away from 100 lbs total lost. I'm having so much fun, and is so happy I can't contain it. I'm 20lbs away from my personal goal. I weight now what I weight in High school. I don't every remember being in a size 7/8. I love the way clothes are fitting, my son told me that no matter what I have on looks good. He use to say, not yet Mom, your almost there, now he says that looks good! He always tells me the truth.
71707
I'm officially now at 149, woo hoo, wow moment. I think I will stop at 140. My size 7/8 are getting a little loose. I can't remember ever being in a size 7/8 come to think of it. 5/6 here I come. This feeling is awesome. It's sooo much fun buying new clothes and loving the way everything fits. I love playing dress up. I never ever bought dresses before, now I can't buy enough of them.
Wow Wow Wow 12-29-08 Happy New Year.
I'm having the time of my life. Had to buy all new clothes, 4 and 6es.H&M love em. I absolutlely love the way my clothes are fitting. Weighing in at 136. Loving it. Never ever bored again, too much to do, so little time, always on the go. Speaking of which, I can now run at least 3 miles no problem within an hour. What else, let's see. I have a boyfriend, 10 years younger than I. Hahaha, lololol. Who would have thought. He's a true sweetheart. But is it serious, I don't know. I'm still trying to get use to it. Haven't had one of those in such a long time that I have to take things really slow. Anyway, that's the latest. Got to go and live life, God Bless.
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Member Interests:
- Dogs - Rocco, you rock!
- Black American - Power to all people
- Dating - Love to one day!
- Religion & Spirituality - Praise God from whom our blessings flow
- Gospel - Love to be inspired through music
- WLS in your 30's - I'm 38 and ready to start living again.
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Surgeon Info:
Surgeon: David Lautz, M.D.
Insurer Info: - Tinamarie, may you rest in peace, Hi to my new cat Essence - Tinamarie, may you rest in peace, Hi to my new cat Essence - Tinamarie, may you rest in peace, Hi to my new cat Essence
