jaira
I am a native Californian. I grew up in the entertainment industry. As a child I was surrounded by Superstars, played at their houses and didn't realize my world vas very different.
My parents, especially my father placed a high value on ones appearance especially weight. As a child I could remember everyone saying don't eat to much, even drink water in between bites so you don't eat too much, I think I was seven at the time and a normal thin child.
My aunt was a model and remember hearing she ate tissue paper to keep her weight down. When I was a teen I knew to be thin meant love and acceptance. I was never even chubby, but realized if I dropped a few pounds by starving no less my dad was always, so happy and made so many comments and I needed that love and approval from him.
At about sixteen, my father used to tell me to do cleansing fasts, so I tried that and realized, wow, I could love a pound a day not eating, so at sixteen I began fasting, (again, I was already thin). I once went two weeks without food, basically this started my bout with anorexia.
Later in my early teens I discovered diet pills. Around 17, I actually started strugling with my weight, when I didn't starve myself, I put the weight back on and then some this went on.
At 18, I went to Lindora at about 25 lbs over weight. Lost it and of course gained it back. I got married at 18, was 125lbs, 4'10", ok, I could have lost maybe 10-15lbs, but was still considered normal weight at this time. I can remember coming down the stairs in my wedding dress and my grandmother, on my dads side of course said oh my your so ...chubby! Oh, my god! It is my wedding for gods sake, lets just say, that is when my 20 year battle with Bulimia began.
Over the couse of the next five years, my weight went up and down. At one time I hit 155lbs and thought I was obese, larger but not my highest. Well, back to Lindora, lost it, gained it, then Jenny Craig, lost a few, gained it. Starved for awhile! My marriage ended and again I became Anorexic and way too thin and my family feared my health but of course my father thought I looked like a model.
At 22, I Maintained about 110lbs for about a year, met my current husband and we married a year later. I was about 120lbs when we got married, three months later I became pregnant with my first daughter, needless to say I thought pregnancy was a license to eat went up to 190lbs, lost almost all of the weight, starving and pills of course.
Maintained at about 140lbs, a year and a half later had another child my son, I got up to 180 this time, lost some. Again maintained about 150lbs this time, two years later became pregnant again. Went up to 190lbs. Was very unhappy with my weight trying to manage three children, depression and losing my identity as a woman.
I gave up my dream on becoming an actress and now was a stay at home mom. However dedicated and joyful raising my children was I lost me in the process. I had no dreams, my weight became this black cloud on my life. My husband was this Brad Pitt handsome body builder into health fitness and here I was a fat Blob, no energy sad all the time and I felt just like this boring dumpy housewife. I lived for my children and did basically nothing for me. I had no friends, I was to imbarrased to go anywhere, always feeling like the fat one at my now 160=175lbs.
Well, my marriage almost ended, we grew apart, I was a shell of a person. I became pregnant again with my fourth child, ( I know what was I thinking.) Can you believe he told me he could not have children. Haaaaaaaaa, what a laugh.!!! Anyway, I became pregnant at 165lbs and went up to 235lbs. This was the beginning of my major battle. This little girl was called my love child, because my husband and I grew closer and decided to make our marriage work. 3 months later I was in an automobile accident, totalled the vehicle and I was injured severley. I could not hold my newborn daughter, I was taking pain pills for the pain and became an ugly bitter person.
Very crabby and unhappyand in constant pain. Needless to say this is preety much where my weight stayed, I think in the Hawaii picture to your left in the one piece bathing suit I actully lost 30lbs. I was at my wits end. After the accident I just went through life a large person in pain basically about 200lbs. My work suffered, I did not want to meet people. I am a realtor and of course when my photo's were taken for my website and business cards it was when I happend to be thinner. Well, talk about humiliating when a client meets you in person from the web and say's...... are you the same lady on the website? Yes, thats me, and they say oh!
one even had the nerve to say , gee.. you have put on some weight. Ughhhh!!!! Well, I started really not wanting to meet people, never went out had absolutely no friends. This went on for a few years. I researched WLS and read the horror stories and said no, not for me. Tried more pills, starving, the Gym, every diet consievable and this time, I could not lose even ten pounds, I just could not lose anymore.
My body just would not do it! We bought a new house 2 stories, that first week, I realized my back was killing me, lifting my 210lbs up those stairs. I was so sick of sitting in chairs that sqeezed my bottom and hurt, tubs being uncomfortable and feeling like people looking and judging me. Ok, I know what you are saying, 240lbs is not that bad, remember I am only four feet 10 inches. I was a size 22 and on my frame it was alot. I felt hopeless. I went to an office meeting and a friend said he was having gastric bypass surgery and that I should consider it, at first I was insulted and very hurt! I thought I know I am over weight but my god I am not Morbidly Obese to resort to that!!!!!!
Well, the truth be told I was I just did not want to realize it. I went home and began researching it again. I realized all the things I have missed in my life. It is like the past 20 years I have been in hiding and not living. I felt like enough!!!!!! I am sick of it! I sold a large home and told my husband after being turned down by Aetna twice, thats it, I am paying for this and doing it whether you support me or not! He was not thrilled but tried to be supportive.
When I make a decision it's like a whirl wind!! I had all my tests interviews and everything inside of six weeks. Had my surgery Septembeer, 09, 05. And that was the day I began to change my life!
I am going to write a book, reconect with some celebrity friends who have encouraged me to tell my story and may even do some other interesting things in the near future. Also, looking forward to the Total Body Lift Surgery with Dr. Dennis Hurwitz in ovember!
Story to be continued.....
