melissa K.
Well, what can I say? I’ve always, always been overweight. I was a pretty active kid, I rode my bike everywhere, and was the fastest kid on the block! I would always reach the top of our big hill before everyone else. Was still fat though! I think there were bouts in my life where I felt sorry for myself, and hated the way I looked...but somewhere along the way, I just got to where I didn’t care so much. Oh I still cared, but I wasn’t going to let being fat stop me! I went to the water park in jr high for the class trip, and I went down the water-slides, and had fun! I remember there being a girl who went with us.... who went...but wouldn’t get into her suit and get in the water. I just remember wanting to get her to understand that it didn’t matter what everyone else thought. It was probably harder for her though, because she was bigger than me. And, I’m pretty hard-headed. SO, if someone made fun of me, I’d just make fun back, and then ignore them *lol* I know that it did truly hurt me though, but it was easy to ignore because I had a supportive family, and some good friends.
Still at age 16 I went on the Fen-phen diet. I got down to the lowest weight I’ve been in my adult life.. 190lbs. I got a little attention from the guys at that point, but didn’t get a boyfriend yet!! But I got to see how people treated me differently. That hurt my self-confidence a bit once I gained the weight back. By graduation I must have been about 240. After that, I think I went as high as 260-265. I began to have problems with my feet, when I would stand for long hours at work. After a year, I started college, and began to eat a tiny bit healthier...and I started to work out! That was cut short right away when I suddenly injured my knee. I hurt it three times! After the second time, a physical therapist said I would need surgery on it. Well, I never did get that. After four years I gained mobility, and continued to exercise, take martial arts, and even teach a dance class! I was still about 230lbs. Eventually it crept up on me again to about 250+ depending on the day!
Well, during my first year of college I met my husband. We had a long distance relationship for 4.5 years, before we finally got married May 25th, 2005. I went on an 8 month (we had planned for November, but then moved the date closer) crash diet where I worked out, calorie counted, and finally took phentramine. I managed to lose about 50-55lbs.
I lost it so fast! I hated my body when it was all over with. Loose skin!! That was an eye opener.Maybe if I’d managed to keep losing, it would have worked out, but instead I kept my weight at about 215 for almost 2 years after the wedding, and now it’s of course, gone back up. So then I got all the benefits of having hanging skin spots, that then semi-filled out again...to become...Hanging fat rolls!!! *lol* So, for someone who’s always been pretty confident, I was probably at my lowest level of confidence when I had surgery. Still, my main reason for getting surgery is my health. Old knee injury, fallen arches, plantar fasciitis, heel spurs, arthritis, and the joy of trying to sleep on fat rolls. Not to mention I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome, which leads me to have a slow metabolism, and many other problems! The last kicker was I’ve always been fairly healthy, but when last year a blood test showed that my cholesterol was up...not high, but up..and so I went on a low cholesterol diet. My family has an extensive history of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, you name it! So, I knew I was heading down that road. At the time before my surgery, I was just so, so, SO tired of being in pain. Everything always hurts. And I was only 27!
Well, as it stands now, I know somewhere inside me there’s that "skinny girl" who’s always wondered what it would be like to come out and fit into a nice pair of jeans...and shop at a cutsie little store, and NOT pay Lane Bryant prices. Hopefully, within the surgery, I’ll be able to meet her!!
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Got the surgery, June 3, 2008!!! SO! This update finds me at about three months out after my surgery. It took me about six weeks to finally regain some energy, and start eating a little more normally. At three months I find I can pretty much eat anything, but that pasta gives me a bit of gas...and that sugar will make me feel a bit ill. I actually find that I'm one of those people that has to force myself to eat. Getting in all of the protein and water has been really, really hard for me. I'm just not thirsty, and I'm not hungry. Even "junk" food or ANYthing...I don't want to eat! Protein drinks are diiiiisgusting! I gag each time I have them, so that's a shame because it would be so easy to get things in if I could just drink them.
Since the surgery I've passed four kidney stones, and, obviously, I think I was overdoing my calcium a bit, and not drinking enough water. I'm trying to do better there! I haven't noticed any hair loss yet..knock on wood! But I may not, since I lost my initial 20lbs the first month, and then it's gone very slowly for me after that. I was working out about 45 minutes a day right after surgery...but was so fatigued, that I had to quit. I'm just now getting back up to working out a few times a week. It kind of feels good to work out, but I'm still overweight enough that my knee and foot give me some trouble if I do too much. Every day seems to revolve around my surgery...eat, drink, poo, eat, drink, poo...but at least things are evening out finally. I'm such a slow healer! Initially I suffered some really bad depression, but I am doing a lot better with that now. I'd heard there was a mourning period for your old life, old eating habits, etc. But as long as I remember to eat slowly, I do well, now. So far, that's how things have been!!
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This post finds me at about 9+ months out. March 20th, 2009. I kind of went off the internet for a while. It continued to be a huge struggle for me to get in any food, or water. I really went through some buyer’s remorse! Man-o-man did I. I got so bitter reading everyone’s “I love my DS posts” and wondering when I would get there! Having such a small stomach was such a struggle, that I could only find people to relate to on the Vertical Gastric Sleeve board! And their tummy’s are TINY! About January I went shopping for the first time for some new clothes..that felt really great, because I was in a size I’ve never in my life worn before....a 12! It was a tight 12, but it was a 12! That got me kind of excited about my surgery, but it passed, and I was still bitter. I really wound up eating carbs a LOT around the end of November and up until the beginning of this month, March. Carbs made me happy! Protein, and surgery, did not. I was STILL mourning my old lifestyle. I stayed at about 182lbs and stalled for a few months. My fault. *shrug* Well, about a month ago I did the unthinkable and got really resentful of my stupid small stomach that I was forced into.....(my doc talked me into a longer channel and a smaller tummy) and ate Dry Top Ramen until I stretched the darn thing out!!! Yeah, I’m evil, but I’m finally HAPPY. It started off at just a quarter of a bag, and ended up to where I can eat a whole bag now. And you know what? I don’t care, because I’m finally happy *lol*
NO more pain in my throat or chest, and I’ve been getting in my full 64oz of fluid EVERY DAY which is amazing for me. I struggled to get in only about 42 this whole time! I’m actually getting in Protein and water!!!!!! And no more discomfort! It has really lifted my spirits. So, I finally felt like getting back on the bandwagon. I came back on line, went to the DS board and got energized to finish this journey. I’ve been eating 40-50 carbs or less a day, getting in all my water and protein, and am now at 176 pounds!!!! NOW I’m excited. NOW I’m getting kind of happy that I had surgery. I still find it hard to be without my loving carbs, but I’ve gone online and actually spent some money trying alllll kinds of low carb foods, and found some things that I can snack on and that taste okay. NOW I feel like I’m not depriving myself, and NOW I feel like I can finish this trip to my skinny self.
I truly never realized how much of a mental struggle this would be. I went into this thinking it would be easy, and seeing all these people around me struggle though pain and complications, but NEVER having trouble eating or drinking, and I felt so depressed and sorry for myself. Maybe I’m a spoiled brat...I’ll not argue with it or make excuses for it...but at least now I’m happy and feeling like maybe I really did do the right thing after all ... : )
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Well, it's 2/12/17. Well I hate this surgery and have extreme buyers remorse about it, and my plastic surgery which failed. I hate all of this, and I was happier as a fat person.
Sagging skin. Harships with constipation, or horrible pain when i have gas, or horrible cramps when i have too much fat. I hate that people on here say "eat more fat"...that's disgusting and causes terrible cramps and disgusting poop. It smears, it comes out in strings. It's oily. No one actually admits that this surgery makes your gas smell so potent that it CLINGS to your clothes, and you WILL stink like a port-a-potty until you wash your clothes, and wash your butt skin. It's mortifying to try to be in an office. you cannot have fake sugar, it's gas for days. POWERFUL long horrible gas. I have a long colon, so i have to drink extra water or i don't have a BM. Oh eat fats? now i have horrible cramps and gas. So no, i have to stick to protien, and i will eat carbs, and try to avoid all sugars. It's miserabe and stupid. I hate eating now, and some days i just drink milk and don't eat at all. I loathe it. I hate protein poweder as well, it makes me gag. I hate eating the same things all of the time. So sometimes i just don't eat.
People on this board lie. They sit at home gorging themselse on fats and eating all day long while they stay at home. If you have a job, make sure you have a bathroom with lots of stalls because you are going to stink it up like no tomorrow. And yes, all poop stinks. But there is a certain quality here that doesn't make itself apparent...there is NOTHING like this smell. It's rotten, it's undigested food...it's beyond porta-potty. I bring that up because those have a mixture of all kinds of poop, and diarrhea, and sulfur, and that is what this smells like. And again, It CLINGS to your clothes.
I don't love food enough to find this worth it. Many people, who i realize now, have mental issues in regards to how they treat food, find this horrible thing worth it. I wish i'd never been convinced to get it.
