jamie2377
Who I am...(May 5, 2010)
May 28, 2010
Throughout this process, there have been many different responses to my surgery. Most people are very supportive of my decision and wish me nothing but the best. Others, however, are a little less encouraging. I know they mean well and are only concerned about me, but I felt like I needed to address this and explain how I feel about it.Some people are concerned about me having this surgery at such a young age. Even my doctor was a little wary of the fact that I'm only 20 years old. But I fully understand the decision I've made and any rewards or consequences that may follow because of it. I wouldn't have let myself get this far into the surgery process if I didn't have peace about the whole thing. I've prayed about this for a long, long time, but even after I made my decision to go through with the surgery, I still had my doubts. So, what I've been doing every single morning is waking up and repeating these scriptures to myself...Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." and 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind." I've had to remind myself that I have no reason to fear anything about this process...the surgery, the pain, the outcome. God has truly given me peace about this. The closer I get to the date, the more excited and the less fearful I become. I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this so I can better serve God and carry out His plan for my life.
Some people have also worried that I will "lose" myself after going through all of these changes. A lot of people have told me throughout the years that I should "love myself for who I am". It's taken me a long time to finally like myself, and I honestly think that's why I'm doing this. If I didn't love myself, I would allow myself to live like this for the rest of my life. I wouldn't care what others thought of me. I wouldn't care how I felt. I wouldn't care if I was healthy. But I do care. It's taken me this long to finally decide to like myself and care enough about myself to do something about that. This surgery is going to allow me to start over and begin taking care of myself. I know who I am. I'm Jamie Jeffers, child of the Most High God, and that's something that will never, ever change. I know He has a plan for my life, and I'm going to better myself so I can see His plan through.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."
