Beginning the Journey

Apr 04, 2009

After lots, lots, LOTS of prayer, soul-searching, crying, talking, dreaming & thinking about WLS, I am ready to start down the road.  My husband has been supportive as I read and researched to get to this point.  So, today, we sat down to talk.  I told him that I had to get off center - I had to "do, or do not" (as Yoda said!) - because I am making myself sick waffling back and forth between yes and no.  After a long talk, we decided YES!!    We talked about my reasons for surgery - mostly that we have always enjoyed hiking, geocaching, camping, working in the yard, doing household repair and building projects and traveling, and at this point, I cannot hold out to do ANY of that!!  I can't deny that it would be wonderful to buy SMALLER, CUTER clothes - but that is NOT my primary reason for wanting the surgery.

Unfortunately, what research I have done leads me to believe that my insurance will not cover the surgery, even after I wait their required 6 month waiting period.  Even tho my BMI is 38, I do not have any "diagnosed" co-morbidities, except slight hypertension (I do take a low-dose med for that.)  I do have acid reflux, back pain, shortness of breath and wheezing, and extremely reduced stamina.  None of those are considered life-threatening, but they are definitely quality-of-life-threatening.  So, it's financing for us, which is OK, because we've been "financers" for things we've wanted all our married life.  Also, now that I have my mind set, I really want to press ahead - I do not want to have to wait 6 months!!

I have gone back and read my daughter-in-love's blogs from her pre-op time, and she is so eloquent. (username: JenBloodworth)  When she talks about wanting to be sure she is in God's will by having surgery, she is speaking my heart.  She is almost 2 years successfully post-op with no complications and SHE LOOKS AND FEELS FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!!!  I can only hope that God honors my good intentions as he has hers.

I have to admit that I am very scared - of complications and then also of regretting it after the surgery.  I won't deny I love to eat (duh!  who'd a thunk??), and I think I will miss it to some degree.  But I hope as the weight drops away and I can walk and do things - anything - again, the compromises will seem more like old friends.

So, a battle plan:  Dr. Facundus's informational meeting Tuesday night, appt with family doctor next week, possible cardiac work-up due to age (52), and possible appt with plastic surgeon (to get an idea of how much flab I will be left with post-op).  Husband will take care of money issue, bless him.  Then a decision between 2 surgeons, a full appt with the doctor of choice and setting a surgery date!!

For any reader who has happened upon this note: please lift me up in prayer and send me good thoughts!!  This is definitely a giant step of faith for me, and I would covet any good wishes you could send my way!!

More to come as the preparatory steps are ticked off!!!

0 Comments