20? months out and going strong...well sort of

Mar 15, 2010

It's been almost 22 months since the surgery.  It all seems like such a long time ago.  I still can only eat small quantities at a sitting.  Somehow I thought I would be back to "normal" by this time..but nope..stomache is still small.  :)  I'm weighing anywhere from 132 to 135 on most days, depending on water intake and fluid retention.  I'm not really trying to lose weight anymore...just maintain, which is much easier than I ever remember on any other diet plan.  :)  I still suffer from gas and heartburn, which sucks.  I carry Pepsid AC in my purse and at work for those times when it's really bad.  My hair is still thin and not very lively, but I'm managing.   Refused to cut it off completely and left it long.  A straighting iron makes it look nice, so I'm using one of those regularly.  I'm not sheading as much as I used to but it's still not back to beautiful hair.  My nails have recovered nicely though. 

Was considering plastic surgery, but haven't taken that leap yet.  I moved out on my own in January so finances are tight.  my marriage of 17 years is kinda in suckage right now.  Not sure where that's going to lead, but I didn't want to keep having the same arguement anymore.  Hubby became very distrustful and suspious of everything.  My appearance has certainly changed and I did not expect that it would cause as much turmoil as it has.  I started noticing men turn their heads more, and so did he.  I actually find I have less interest in that sort of attention than I did when I was heavier.  Ha!  Also noticed that even though I am now "seperated" from my husband, I haven't been asked out once!  When I was heavier and fully committed, I swear, I had an offer for a date dozens of times.  It's the weirdest thing.  

I've decided I'm not really looking for anyone or anything at the moment.  Just want to figure out who I am again.  Under all those layers of fat, I've obviously been hiding.  I am exposed and in the world...front and center.  It's all good, just an adjustment.  

Speaking of adjustments...periods on like freaking clock work these days...OMG!  Never been so damn regular in my life.  Also...PMS is full force these days as well.  I mean in a harsh way.  I get all moody and depressed, crazy and angry.  It's horrible.  I finally had to go to the doctor and see if I could get myself some meds.  She decide I should try birthcontrol to see if that would stablize the moods.  I started the birthcontrol patch like a week ago.  I haven't taken birthcontrol in 15 years.  I'm kinda hesitant, but the mood swings were becoming pretty bad.  I guess the more fat you have, the more hormones get stored in your body or some crap like that.  Now that there is less fat, it's floating all around and causing havoc :)  

Anyhoo, that's the update.  We will see what happen for my two year follow up.  Got that scheduled in July.  Got to get my bloodwork checked out and see where I'm at.  Hopefully I'm all good :)