janelle288

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Haven't written in awhile....been so busy with running my daycare, going to the gym, and my kids and hubby.  It's been 2 and a half months post-op and I'm feeling and looking real good.  I have lost 54 lbs.   I don't know how..........cuz I don't drink the protein drinks, I know.....I know....it's a NO NO. I should be drinking them, but I can't find one that I can handle and the smell just gags me.  I am working on it.  I've been trying to eat more protein foods to help out.

I just had surgery again.....about two weeks ago. I was in so much pain. Here it was a hernia and backed up bowels because my stitches inside came undun.  So I gave myself a break from the gym for a week.  Now I'm back to working out and doing water areobics(which I love.)  I don't know exactly where I want my goal weight to be, but I know I'm wanting more gone.  Lots more.  I weigh 233 rite now.  I've been putting clothes away like crazy, so this Saturday I get to go to the thrift store and go shopping.  Especially pants.

Well just a quick update.

On Thursay...I went to my 2 week post-op appointment.  It all went good!!  I have lost 23 pounds in a 2 week period.  But It seems like it's standing at a stand still.  I want to shed more and fast.  I started the YMCA here in my town and found one of my daycare parents that I do daycare for to go with me and she has a friend that goes too.  So its going to be nice to get walking and riding the stationary bike.  I hope I continue to go...I hate go to a gym with guys and all those skinny bitches, that think they are all it.  HATE IT!!  But I did go on Friday by myself.  I deserve a pat on the back.  Good girl!!  Well 23 pounds off of me that will never be back on again.

Well my surgery is over...it was Monday the 3rd of Aug.  Just got out this morning and I feel good.  My stomach hurts sum, which I know it will, but surgery went good.  Thank God it's over.  I am so glad to have the surgery behind me and now i am on my liquid diet.  My family is testing me really good.  They are making pork chops and fried potatoes and corn.  DAMN it smells good in here.  But I get my broth....yummy.  Now my sister is teasing me and asking me what spoon I want for my broth.  Hahaha.  I'm a good sport...I have to be.  I am not going back to 288 pounds again.  So I might as well have a good attitude about the whole thing.

One week before surgery...getting scared and excited.  I'm scared because it's major surgery...I've had surgeries but this one is important and I'm scared that I'm going to fail after surgery.  That I'm not going to have will power and self confidience in myself.  I am excited to see myself 50 pounds lighter and than more.  I have to be to the hospital and get checked in on Aug 2 at midnight.  Surgery time I don't know yet....can't wait and can wait.  haha

I have rescheduled my surgery date.....I needed some extra time to save up my portion of payment.  The hospital I'm going to wants my amount owed up front.  The insurance will pay and then I have to pay in advance or no surgery.  SO MY NEW SURGERY DATE IS AUGUST 3rd, 2009.  I've been dragging my feet alot and not trying protein drinks and not taking my vitamin.  But TODAY is the end of that!!!  I have made some goals and I'm starting to believe they will come true, one day or another.  The day is coming and I'm gonna be ready for it!!!  I have to kids that need me and I need them, so enough stalling and dragging my feet.  I have a wonderful husband that loves me, but I don't love myself.  It's said that you can't love anyone, until you love yourself first.  Well I do love him dearly, but I don't love myself.  I am starting to love myself, because I know I'm going to love the new me.  I can't wait to see myself at goal or even a month or at 6 months PO.  I'm going to love shopping for me, that never happens now.  I'm always shopping for my kids or husband but never for me.  Wow, I'm gonna go broke.  Haha