Something's gotta change!

Nov 11, 2009

Been out of work for two months. Not seeing much out there that I am qualified to do, other than stuff that just can't beat unemployment income. Right now, we NEED the unemployment amount, not for me to be 'off the gov't dime'. I paid into it, so I deserve it, but some people make me feel guilty for taking it. We must pay the mortgage, you know? Everything out there is part time, temporary (seasonal), $8/hr, or WAY out of my league. I have my first interview tomorrow and am a nervous wreck about it. I have never had a forml interview. All my past jobs were acquired with minimal interview. Basically, made sure I could write, add, etc. Or started as a temp, then stayed. This one tomorrow is being done by an interview team, brought in to process probably close to 300 people (I'm guessing that many got the invite out of the 450 that were skill tested).
Anyway, it seems like I have been busy the last two months. Studying more than I could when I was working. I ought to ACE this semester. ; ) Helped my DH with a side job; cleaned house top to bottom for our annual Halloween bash; now I get to host Thanksgiving again so I have begun prepping for that. Attempting to make some baby clothes for a shower this weekend. All in addition to searching the internet for job leads.
So, why can't I motivate to do something for myself? For my body? DH HATES my lost breasts, as well as the no more tushy. I admit, I hate the losses too, but what can I do about them? With no job, there's no hope of saving up for PS . . . We filed bankruptcy on our credit debt, losing two cars and our bike in the process, and don't even know if we'll still have a home in a few months. It's so depressing. I just don't want to think about it all, but I must! 
My friends convinced me to go to the Renaissance Faire last month. I had a good time, but couldn't let loose! Every picture we took, I have my hands folded over my stomach. Why? 3 out of 5 of us have had RNY, and the other 2 still have a chest. DH was bothered by that - why do they, and not I?? Then at Halloween, they all showed up as pirates, VERY cleavaged, just to press the point home. No pun intended. So that didn't help in the depression area. I don't want to get any more down!
I WANT to be healthy & fit, and at goal. I'm AT goal, but have not reached my under-goal bounce back area. I'm having a hard time affording my vitamins, but I am getting them in still. I'm doing much better since my iron infusion, but still need my colonoscopy. Still need to find a new primary doc. Lots of stuff went by the wayside when I lost my job and insurance. I have the Wii, but just can't seem to get back to the exercise. When I do, I scroll thru all the exercises and don't want to do most of them. I'm afraid of hurting my ankle again, or having my shoulder bursitis flare back up. I can't afford to be on an injured list while job hunting and, hopefully, interviewing.
I do know I need to stop eating candy. Don't know why I have allowed myself to do it, but I have been consuming 2 or 3 miniature candy bars since we bought for Halloween. It's all gone now, and I have paid the price; not in gains, but in weird bowels. It has to be the sugar. Time to find out, now there's no more to tempt me. I am taking my magnesium and zinc at night, so I don't suffer the stomach upset they were giving me. My leg cramps have mostly gone away, so I am glad that vitamin change is doing it's job.
Well, time to re-write my resume and rip out the elastic on the sewing I've done so far. Then try on clothes for tomorrow, so I don't look TOO much like I don't know what I'm doing. Hopefully by the next time I Blog I'll be gainfully employed, and have the ability to DREAM again.

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About Me
Los Banos, CA
Location
22.3
BMI
RNY
Surgery
08/06/2008
Surgery Date
Feb 24, 2008
Member Since

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