Wow! Long time no talk - to.

Sep 22, 2010

I have been away! Not physically . . . mentally? No, just cyberly. I have been job hunting, going to school, and helping my husband with some side jobs to try and recover money to replace our motorcycle. We lost a lot in that bankruptcy. We still have our house, but only thru November unless I can find part time work by then. I only need to earn about $1000 a month. No one seems willing to BELIEVE that and take a chance on hiring me . . . my age, my previous income, whatever. I just keep hitting a brick wall. I know I can do the jobs I apply for. They are just afraid I am over qualified or will become bored with the job or disatissfied with the income. I would NOT be disatissfied with the means to keep my home. I just need a chance to prove it!

So, other than that, I am maintaining at 130 #, not where I want to be but better than the 220# that I was! Part of it, I think, is the birth control pills I am on, going on a year now, for my iron control. This will be my last three months. My obgyn inferred I am close to menopause anyway, so things should be tapering off. If the pharmacy had not ignored my order not to autofill the prescription, I'd be off of them already but since they did, I'm not throwing away pills I was forced to pay for.
Being home has also been a problem. While working, my foods were actually better controlled as I would take with me a meal or protein drink, then have dinner and no 'foraging'. I now have full access to the supply, so I tend to graze on 'crap'. I am taking a nutrition class right now, and hopefully can get myself back on track.

You would also think that being home would get me out and moving, but no. I am on the computer all afternoon (school and job search), catching up with programs on DVR in the morning while having my coffee and very late breakfast. It seems I rarely leave the house (being short vehicles right now doesn't help). I cross my fingers every day for a call, an interview, even another shot at taking a TEST for a job. Sure things never pan out, and I am giving up hope.

Earlier this year my mother went through a double mastectomy after being diagnosed stage 3 breast cancer. She couldn't get definite verification of cancer in the second breast due to there not being a large enough MRI machine to fit her in without her claustrophobia kicking in, so she opted for a double. I have spent a few weeks just hanging out with her while she went through chemo. She is now going through radiation but I have been unable to get up there to help her with that. During my visits and phone calls with her, I have tried to encourage her to re-consider bypass. She's already been qualified, medically. I keep telling her, her insurance is going to pay for breast reconstructions anyway, why not go for it?  All she'd have to pay for would be the LBL and any other plastics she desired. I have to pay for it ALL. She doesn't think 'a 70 yr old lady is worth the trouble'. I tell her she's worth it! She's our mom, of COURSE she's worth it!

Well, I need to get back to my studying. I need to find an Entrepreneuer to interview, by this weekend! I hate small towns - I still don't know anyone well enough, outside of my former job (from which I cut ALL ties), to call on people for interviews. This is gonna be a tuff assignment to complete.

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