My story is like many others, I'm sure.  I've been overweight to some degree my entire life.  All of my immediate family is/was overweight as well.  I was always teased about my size and picked last for teams during gym.  I fell at least once or twice for a really cute boy talking to me and showing interest, only to find out it was a joke his friends put him up to.  It was humiliating and embarrassing.  It also didn't help that my dad was transferred often while I was growing up.  Sometimes it was every 6 months or less.  Thus, I was constantly "the new kid".  I am an abuse survivor.  I've come to believe that keeping the weight on was a defense mechanism of a sort.  I was also the friend, not the girlfriend.  I have had boyfriends, but there were many other friends that were boys/men that I wished could have been more.  Oh, I got the "you've got such a pretty face.  You'd be gorgeous if you just lost weight" comments.  I'm sure most of you know the drill.  My weight has gradually climbed over the years, but it became much worse in the last 15 years or so.  
I've been thinking about bariatric surgery for quite a while.  I've tried about every diet known to mankind.  I would lose, then eventually gain it back plus more.  Naturally, I've struggled with self-esteem issues.  I've made a lot of progress and now have confidence in just about every aspect of myself except my weight, of course!  
The last time I had a successful weight loss was about 1 1/2 to 2 years ago.  I had reached 395 lbs.  I swore to myself that I would not reach 400.  I took two weeks off from work and began Weight Watchers and exercising.  I wanted to get a routine established before I returned to work.  I did really well and lost 50 lbs in about 2 to 3 months.  Then my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly of complications from diabetes at age 62.  I was devastated and ate my way through my grief.  Soon I put the 50 back on, then continued to put on another 25 more!  Good grief.  I reached my highest weight ever, about 425 lbs.  I couldn't believe it.  I could barely move, walk, stand or climb stairs.  I had pain 24/7 in my knees.  I later discovered I have moderate degenerative joint disease in both knees.  I couldn't keep up in my job.  I was sleeping a lot and it was never enough.  I later learned I had sleep apnea and am now on a CPAP machine.  Something had to give.  I arranged with my very sympathetic boss to take a 3 month LOA to prepare for, have and recover from bariatric surgery.  I was planning to receive short term disability, but later was declined.  Couldn't prove I was fat enough to not be able to perform my duties.  I originally wanted the lap band, but discovered I was too heavy for it and the VSG was recommended.  I believe it will be a much better option since I did my research.   
I discovered in my pre op psych eval that I am an emotional eater and a binge eater.  It's time to change my relationship with my long term lover, food.  
I'd been  on the pre-op diet and was working on the last couple of tests when my mom died suddenly, 13 months after my father.  I'm proud to say I stuck to my pre-op diet.  It's been tough, but God is in control.  My surgery is now 2 days away.  I've been on the liquid diet for almost 2 weeks.  Thank God for appetite suppressants!  I've lost 35 lbs on the two pre-op diets.  I'm educated and I'm ready to begin my new life!  
If you managed to make it through my very long story, thank you.  I'm very excited to be part of the OH community.  No one can truly understand unless they've been there.  : )  I'm looking forward to joining everyone on the loser's bench!  Trust in God.  He will never let you down. 

About Me
FL
Location
57.1
BMI
VSG
Surgery
07/10/2007
Surgery Date
Jun 25, 2007
Member Since

Friends 22

Latest Blog 2
7/16/07: Home post-op and doing better
Here's the progress:

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