Jeffboutwell77

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The choices we make seem to determine our outcome, but what if we don't know the choices that we made to get us to where we are? What if we made unconscious choices and gave way to irrational behavior that was brought on by underlying thoughts. Thoughts that were shrouded by events that lead us to the fridge. Perhaps someone said something negative that hit home with the way that you look. Perhaps an event at work occurred causing you to be reprimanded. Maybe a loved one was hurt or killed.

Events in our lives lead us to make choices that we are not aware are bad for us. Some events such as looking in the mirror and feeling fat can trigger you to diet. If you had WLS this could be either good or bad. For myself I have gotten into the habit of eating to sustain energy day to day I neither gain or lose weight and if my indulgence is too excessive I recognize where the excess is and eliminate it. Balance is essential in any diet and to try to binge diet is as bad as binge eating. Diets are not bad but they should be balanced with the needs of our body. Atkins diet, Paleo diet, South beach diet to name a few are all diets I have seen do not work for me or others. The success is short coming because people want to have extreme results without changing their habits.

Habits are a result of what works for us and eventually boredom sets in and routine becomes tedious. The thing is we try to change the wrong routine instead what we need is added tasks or entertainment to break up the monotony of routine, and keep the routines we have. The old adage one more couldn't hurt or lets have this high calorie snack and we can get back on track tomorrow, this can destroy the most critical routines. Instead we need to maintain the routine of eating and discover something new to give us joy. Taking a walk when you don't walk that much, go to a mall just to window shop. find a new hobby or if you are like me write something, anything. The point is to change some part of your routine without changing the routine of your diet that has worked for you.

When I go to the gym after a period of time I feel worn out and tired not because I am working out too much but because my muscles become acclimated to a routine. Therefore I have found that I will not do the same exercises twice within a two week period. It is called muscle confusion when you do this it continuously supplies energy to the muscles when the muscle memory does not know what comes next. My stamina has increased and I look and feel better than I have ever looked in my life. I am fifty years old and most of my friends that I have known since I was thirty years old say I look better now.

Remember there are no silver bullets in life and when we rely on a temporary element to create a permanent situation a routine becomes tedious and the outcome will be that we will give up. You don't want to give up and I don't want to give up so lets not give up together as we break up this routine of giving up...

It has been 2 years and 4 months since surgery and I have not felt this good since I was twenty years old. There have been some bouts with low blood sugar but I have recently found tools to maintain especially bite size candy and B-12 complex sublingual liquid. I am still waiting to hear back as to whether OH will post my before and after pics. Since before the surgery I have lost a total of 100 pounds and I am maintaining my weight at 195 pounds. I did weigh a little less than that but became weak and decided that my goal was met. I believe my extra skin would probably weigh between 15 and 20 pounds so my weight would probably fall into my main goal of 170 to 180 which is below my goal.There are things that they do not tell you for lack of a better word that no two bariatric patients are the same.

I will continue to advance with my exercise and being fifty is no easy task. I do notice that people in public take notice of me now and it feels amazing. They used to grin at me and make sad faces as if I was afflicted in my obesity. I believe that this surgery has done wonders to my life I wished I had gotten it when I was younger but I am satisfied that now I am younger and have a more of quality life that I would not trade for a million bowls of Ice cream. They say the greatest feeling is when someone can put their arms around you but I know that is not all true, because the greatest feeling is when you can put your arms around yourself. If you cannot love yourself then how can others love you. As for now I leave you with this a quote from Tom Stoppard, "Every exit is an entrance to somewhere else!"

Peace out...

Hi everyone I have been away awhile but am now posting to let everyone know that I am doing well. I have been losing weight, getting healthy and feeling great about myself. Take a look at my new pics.. I cringe when I see the old me but I am totally satisfied with the man I have become. My adage to all of this is, "Does this Gym make me look fat? No? I didn't think so either..." Lol

I hit my first Goal which is 100 pounds before beginning my process I was 300 pounds and now I weighed in at 200 pounds I have just hit a milestone in my weight loss and it gives me the drive to continue. Pictures on their way.

I know that when people say,  "I am feeling the effects." it usually means something negative but in my case it is extremely positive in that I am feeling awesome. the pain in my joints has almost disapeared. I have all this energy and I do not know where it came from, (probably the energy ferry) I have lost to date a total 60 lbs and the other day I tried on size 34 jeans and they fit with ease, but I did not buy them because of the fact I did not want to look like a middle aged man trying to look cool in skinny jeans. You know the type the guy who is always trying to say cool things like, "Right off man." and "cold man." Never the less I am persuaded that this surgery really works. But be Yee warned It takes a really strong person to go through this. and it is not for the weak at heart. If you want to live healthy the rest of your life then I recommend it. However if food is your best friend then I only recommend that you take a long look around and see who your best friends really are. They are the ones who have stuck by your side. who see something wonderful in you who know that when you do change they will be there to encourage you. Food just cannot do that for you it can only provide nourishment when you need it... check yourself and find out what it is you truly need and go for it because God did not create us to give up, He created us to shine and be victorious. Live for today.

 it has been a good couple of days but today I found myself eating a small snack I thought was sugar free jello, and turned out to be full strength sugar. When I realized what I was doing the cup was empty. Well I don't think it will baloon my liver up but we learn from our mistakes and mine was small but I promise not to make it again. I have been losing a pound a day and I don't think a cup of Jello will stop that. I am still light headed and zoning out on most things but I am getting a lot of work done so that I can just rest and concentrate on the recovery.

My life is very busy and often consumed with the thought that if I don't do it then who will. That is a ode of thinking that I need to get out of. I often write but mostly about things that don't pertain to me. this is the hardest blog I have ever had to write. Mostly because the fact that I don't know what to expect. I don't really have a clue what I am in for. Yes they educate you on all of the ins and out's of surgery but there is no way to know what one person will experience. Everyone is different in what they go through after this operation. I have asked people in support group about what they experienced but all of them differed from one another.

It is like life all of us has the same life but different experiences only to see our end is the same as our beginning. What makes the difference is the inbetween or the distance from here to there. I have often asked is this all there is to be born go to school get a job, get married have kids, and dream what might have been and then we grow old and die. Only when we die we hope we have time to look back on our lives and truly see that we were loved by all.

Well I don't mean to get too phylisophical with you just write what I feel and tonight I am in retrospect of the feelings I have toward how I got here. You see I didn't marry until I was forty years old and now I am forty eight. I lived a life of drug adictions and selfish living with no regard for others. however I did carry something with me my experience in passion. You see whatever I did in life no matter how severe or life threatening it was I did with passion. Now I know that comes through with the surgery I am about to go through.

I am passionate about this and no one can change my mind. One because I have never had to go without even when I had barely anything and two because I have lived longer than all but two of my best high school buddies. This to me is not just to lose weight but it is go on living a quality life with no regrets. My father died of a stroke three days before he was due to have open heart surgery. I intend to break that cycle and live a healthful life with no regrets and no shame. I have heard it all before and the thing that truly upsets me is that most people say the same thing, "Why don't you just push yourself away from the dinner table." That sounds like the easy solution but I have never heard anyone with compassion tell a heroin addict, "Why don't you just push yourself away from the kneedle." It is a long hard road and it takes courage and I am very proud to be here on obesity help with such courageous people who are fighting to make their lives better. every one here is so supportive and helpful. Your experiences are all differnt but our results will be the same... don't let anyone tell you this is a mistake you are on the brink of a life few of us have ever experienced...

Half the battle is won. I still have five more to go and I will see this through. That healthy guy wants out and I have just about got the door open for him... Urges are alost gone and I am left with just the fogg in the brain. still I am ready...
 

I know I skipped a day but here I am in day 4 of the preop diet. surviving by pretending my shake is a veggie omelette that of course tastes like strawberries yum. Had a decaf coffee this morning was black and deliscious but still missing one key ingredient Oh yeah CAFFIENE!!! 6 days till surgery after today the days are going by fast...Yea!!!

 Day 2 of the preop diet and I am doing great on the Calories 1046. drinking flavored water. I am still feeling a lack of energy but  maybe that will pass.

 I am trying or succeeding in being good even though my family is having pizza and I have to smell it... My Duaghter probably hates me now because I kicked her Pizza out of the TV room. This surgery is important to me and I will not compromise not even a bite. i suppose they really won't have a clue how important it is until they see me after surgery...