Sad Days, Sleepless Nights

Aug 19, 2013

Our dog, Eddie, is dying of heart and kidney failure.

I can't sleep more than 3-4 hours a night.  He wakes me up scrabbling about the room to go outside (we put carpet runners down wherever there was no carpet because he can't stand up by himself on wood or tile, or linoleum.

Sometimes, he dashes around the room oddly enough, with the youthful strength of a puppy - sometimes looking for a place to cough up lung secretions, sometimes he just tries to go into rooms we without carpet we have blocked off, into blind ends, or into the bathroom or bath room.

Usually, I feel sick and horrible all day and finally take a short nap when I'm utterly exhausted during the day sometime, usually in the late afternoon.

Even if I don't help him go outside during the night, I wake up and can't get back to sleep for 3+ hours; if I can get back to sleep at all.

We are taking him back to the vet again today (we don't have an appointment, but they should open soon).  I fear that she will tell us that there isn't much she can do to help our beloved almost 14 year old companion and that we should put him down.  I don't want to do that - but I don't want him to suffer either.  How, and when do you draw the line?  Deciding the fate of another is the worst thing possible, especially when he can't talk to you about his wishes.

What do we do with him?  Do we build him a coffin and bury him at the cottage, overlooking his favourite place, the beach, or do we bring him to be individually cremated in Toronto, and bury his cremains there, in our own little pet cemetery?  It's such a sad time...

6 comments

A 'Re-Post' of "My Surgery Went Really Well".

Aug 18, 2013

I'm blogging this because I'm not much of a blogger, but it seemed to help lessen the anxiety of some pre-ops who read it.

Hi everyone,

I'm afraid this might be a long post, but I think that writing down my RNY experience on Monday will encourage pre-ops. 

Everything went really well.  I didn't feel much pain and by the evening I came home (Wednesday), I felt mainly mildish gas pains and pain in my calf muscles from walking the wards every hour that I was awake when I was in the hospital.

I was told to arrive at TEGH at 11:30am, but of course, I got there about 45 minutes early - better early than late.  After I registered at Admitting, I went upstairs to the 1st pre-surgery waiting room, where I waited until about 11:35am.

Then, a nurse came and helped get me ready for surgery.  I put on the 2 gowns and the shower cap hair keeper, and anti-embolism stockings.  They were a little hard to pull on, but after surgery, I found that they kept my legs warm.  They weren't uncomfortable.  Then, the nurse gave me 2 sublingual Xanax the PATTS anesthetist had kindly ordered, and started my IV painlessly.  I honestly can't remember, but I think she gave me a needle to prevent blood clots too.

Then, my Dad & I were led to the true pre-surgery waiting room.  I went to the bathroom, and I met my surgeon, Dr. Jamie Cyriac, who is very kind and lets you ask as many questions as you want and who is obviously a great surgeon!  About 10 minutes later, at 12:40pm, I was led to the ER itself.  They let me keep my glasses until I had climbed onto the table and positioned myself properly.  I am virtually blind without them, so I was grateful.

I woke up in the recovery room in some pain and said so twice  - then, I was in no pain the whole time I was there.  I had to stay in the recovery room an extra 4 hours because I have severe sleep apnea, although by the last 90 minutes I was quite awake.  For the last 40 minutes, I was the only patient in the recovery room and the nurse came to talk to me until I left, which was very kind of her.

Then I was wheeled up to my semi-private bariatric room.  Luckily for me, no other patient (female anyway) showed up while I was there, so I got a free private room!  I had a little pain after I had to scoot from the transport bed to the room bed, but a nurse hung some morphine and I had no more pain issues.  I only got out of bed three or four times that night to go to the bathroom - they keep waking you to check on your vitals.  Once I walked around 2 wards.

The next day, I was still on morphine but I was given apple juice to dilute 50:50 with water and SF Jello, and either chicken broth or beef broth.  I had to go slow and I was almost afraid to try out my new pouch, so I made sure to only sip 2 little 60ml medicine cups and hour.  This day, I was walking the halls every hour or so for 10-15 minutes.  They say it helps you pass gas, as well as avoid blood clots, but I didn't pass much at all until the day I left the hospital.  I didn't get a blood clot though.

The final night in hospital, I woke up in quite a bit of pain, and instead of 2 crushed Percocet, I was given IV morphine again.  After that, there were only 2 times when I felt enough pain to count down the last hour until the next Percocets, but the pain wasn't exactly unbearable.

On Wednesday, the day I was discharged, I was served 1% milk, apple juice & water, and wonder of wonders, overcooked, unflavoured & unsweetened oatmeal.  Never has anything tasted so good afer 23 days of liquids!  I was fine that day on 2 Percocets and was kindly given one one hour ahead of schedule for my drive home to Richmond Hill, otherwise by the time I got out of the pharmacy, I'd have run out on the way home.  Thankfully, the bumpy roads didn't hurt much; Dad drove slowly.

At home, my father installed a raised toilet seat, which has proven to be a Godsend and makes going easy.

I was shocked when the Percocet I took at TEGH wore off that I didn't feel much pain at all; it was a bit of abdominal pain and a bit of gas pain, and my calf muscles hurt from all that walking!  I kept waiting for the pain to get worse, but it hasn't.  I napped in a recliner during the afternoon and evening and kept up the walking.  By the time I went to bed, I found it did not hurt very much at all getting in and out of my bed!

Today, I started off the day with a Percocet and a dense protein shake.  I'm using the unflavoured whey protein isolate I bought and the SF Da Vinci syrups.  My challenge is to get in enough liquids, protein, and other fuel now, but I can't say they didn't warn us at TWH that that would be a 24 hour job at first!

So, my advice to newbies and pre-ops is please try not to be terrified of the surgery like I was.  Everything went perfectly, and the only signs I have really (apart from a few tiny incisions and very mild pain) are that I have no hunger, and feel full quite quickly now if I'm drinking a protein shake (or NF cottage cheese, no sugar added applesauce, etc.).

I hope this post wasn't too long and I hope it helps calm some pre-ops' fears about the proceedure.  I'm so happy to be home again!

And thank you to all my kind friends and to my angel Monica too!  I appreciate all your kind thoughts and wishes and PMs.  I will try to answer everyone in the next day or so.  I'm not feeling much pain at all, but I am tired, so I do take naps.

Jenn.  :)

 

0 comments

My Five Month Surgiversary...

Aug 10, 2013

Hi friends,

So much has changed since I wrote my introduction.  I'm down to 211lbs (the last time I steped on a scale, which was a week ago), and have lost 95lbs in total, and 69lbs since my operation.  The nurse practitioner told me that I've lost 70.9% of my excess body weight since I was referred.

So many amazing changes have happened (gradually) that when I now look in the mirror I don't see a hopelessly fat person.  I don't think that people are always going to stare at me in public now.  I've lost 18 inches off my waist and can fit into some rather old clothes now - I should buy a few more pants - all except three I own will fall off unless I wear a belt.

My resting pulse has gone from 105 before the surgery (and it was 135 when I met the surgeon!) to only 72.  I think my sleep apnea is improving, although I still wear  the mask nightly.

I can go for long walks, vigorous swims (they have to be, the lake is so cold now), ride my really old bike, and even just do 'normal' things like mow the lawn, garden, and clean more than a little area of one room at once.  I can carry things upstairs without losing my breath, and I can work for hours without taking breaks.

I've been sticking religiously to the eating program and am using 5 great post-op recipe books.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling down, I get a little sad about what I can't eat - Popeye's Chicken, Pizza Hut, Cinnabon, McDonald's hashbrowns, and home made Christmas trifle and shortbread (especially the dough), but I've found Walden Foods has two great 'dips' - caramel and chocolate, that have 0 calories and help me feel normal; like I can have a treat too.

But, I wouldn't change my decision to have the surgery for anything.  Who cares about Pizza Hut when you can now walk more than 4 minutes without feeling that death is imminent!  I know from reading posts on OH just how lucky I am to have gotten a cancelation and to have sailed through the surgery and recovery time without any complications.

I want to say a big thank you to everyone on the OH forum who helped me with questions before and after surgery, and everyone in the York Region Support Group too.  I've been away on the weekends, but I should be at a meeting in September, or November at the latest.

Jenn.  :)


Me, at 306 lbs+

Me at 306+ lbs, Christmas 2011.

Me at 211 lbs, last week in the cottage.

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About Me
ON
Location
31.5
BMI
RNY
Surgery
03/11/2013
Surgery Date
Jan 25, 2013
Member Since

Friends 19

Latest Blog 3

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