Just venting and an update after 8 months...
Jan 10, 2010So here I am 8 months out and 121 lbs down and believe me I'm happy about this but discouraged somewhat with the 60 lbs that I have a head of me. I remember how daunting it was for me to think of losing two hundred pounds when I initially set my goal weighing in above 380 lbs. I thought no way am I ever going to lose 200 lbs. Well here I am at 260ish and I'm lighter than I was when I met my husband, I'm in a size 22 and I'm feeling so much better, but at the same time really having a hard time getting my head around the next 60lbs. In November I went to see the NUT and Dr. Toder for 6 month follow up. The NUT was well not overly impressed with my progress since I'd only lost 80 since surgery and should be father ahead in their eyes... they want me at 236 by Feb. (not sure they are going to get that) so I went to Dr. Toder very discouraged and awaiting further un impressed attitudes.... but she was thrilled with me and praised me for losing over 100 lbs and absolutely considered the fact that I started at 380 and not at 350 on surgery day. I left feeling hopeful and good that she was behind me. Dr. Toder believes I should be able to reach a goal of 180 which was my original goal in the beginning, which would be a whopping 200lbs. The nut things I'm going to settle alittle over 200 and should be happy with that. I really want to prove them wrong on that one.
So here's where I'm struggling. As some of my fellow bypass patients have done so welll at exercising, I have not. I've struggled from the beginning and those of you who know me well enough know that it has affected my outcomes... It's definately easier to get going and get into it now but it's harder to stick to it and to even get the gumption up to do it. I know I need to hurry up because my small window of time is closing fast....
During the last few months I've found out that I was "most likely" pregnant and lost a baby through a "chemical pregancy" in which I know is the best thing because i'm not ready physically, but oh am I ready mentally. I was really hopeful but I know I need more time. I worry that I'm never going to have that joy in my life.
I need to stop making excuses and get my butt in gear and I need to hurry up and do it and get used to it so that I can settle into a life long pattern.... I guess it's time to really get the butt in gear long term...
Thanks for listening.. I'll try to be on here more and be more involved so that I can get teh value of a great support network!
Jan 26, 2009