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Three days post-op! So excited and ready to get approved for excercise!!




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Tomorrow I officially start my preop diet, Friday is my pre op dr. appt!! I am soooo excited~ Surgery set for September 18th~

 September 18th is my surgery date, I am excited, and somber at the same time. It seems so far away, but I know it will be here before I know it! I just wish it was yesterday! That is the somber aspect, otherwise inside I am sooooo thrilled I can hardly contain myself!!!

 After all of these years, and all of the months doing everything needed to be approved, and it finally happened!!! Praise God!!! I can't wait...first thing Monday morning I am calling to schedule my surgery!!! I am going with the gastric sleeve. I hope it the right choice for me! Right now I am so excited, I can hardly sleep!!!!!!!! God is sooo good all the time!!!

 I have been browsing around this site for a couple of hours now, I have added some friends, read some blogs, visited some forums and posted some thought and feelings. I have looked at photos and followed other's journey's and even though I write this with a giant lump in my throat, I am so grateful that I am not alone. I am not sure where exactly my life became out of control and when my weight took over my existance, I guess at this point all that matters to me is hope. The hope that I can read and see that change is possible. I have been overweight for most of my life. I was a chubby kiddo and I suppose I had a few years as a teen where I starved myself to be thin and to fit im, but weight is always such a struggle for me. One day I guess I just thought to myself, I am going to eat whatever I want whenever I want and I don't care what anyone thinks. I guess I thought I was empowering myself or taking some sort of control of my life. I have never felt more out of control being heavy. I know that with my heart and mind in the right place and by the grace of God, together with all of you here, I can overcome. Somehow I can overcome. Wether it be getting approved for surgery or just learning to find better ways to cope with life other than eating, I have hope. With my eyes wide open I will overcome the pain and fear I have been living. 

 Today it has hit me that I am really going to go for it. I am praying so hard that I get approved, I just have to have faith that whatever is best for me will happen. I am a little nervous however because since I have started with the dietitian, I have started to eat worse than I have eaten in months! Also I have had back to back to back family issues. My son broke his arm, my grandma fell and got stitches, and now my mom has gotten a horrible infection and is unable to get out of bed. Grrrrrrr. It can be really hard to be committed to myself when there is always someone who needs me. In some ways I want to be needed and in others it can be too much. I know that eating more to cope is not what the dietitian will want to see and I don't want to use circumstance as an excuse. I just feel like I am going down the wrong path by not sticking to my plan for this month. I can do this. I can on track and stay there. I have too! I have to feel in control again. Of my body and of my life. I am so grateful that I have a chance to get this surgery. I have an appt. April 25th for my dietitian visit, then I have another visit on April 30th to get all of my xrays and such completed. Then I have two more dietitian visits and I can submit for approval. Oh the wait...not so great on the nerves. I pray that I can do better on sticking to my plan and I can exercise more regularly. 

 It is March 28, 2012 and I am in the process of getting paperwork ready to submit for approval. I have decided to have the gastric sleeve and I am ready to change my life for the better. It is time to take care of me and keep moving forward in the right direction. Sometimes it's hard to feel happy and optimistic but I will be joyous again. I am ready to commit to the hard work and have a great understanding of what is needed from me. When I was younger I believed that surgery was an absolute solution to happiness, now I have grown to understand that having a surgery is just a step and a tool to help me move closer to achieving my goals for a healthier life. I am excited and nervous as I patiently await all of the steps to be completed so I can submit to insurance for approval. I am glad that I am here and I am glad I am moving forward on my journey.