Eyes wide open

Apr 12, 2012

 I have been browsing around this site for a couple of hours now, I have added some friends, read some blogs, visited some forums and posted some thought and feelings. I have looked at photos and followed other's journey's and even though I write this with a giant lump in my throat, I am so grateful that I am not alone. I am not sure where exactly my life became out of control and when my weight took over my existance, I guess at this point all that matters to me is hope. The hope that I can read and see that change is possible. I have been overweight for most of my life. I was a chubby kiddo and I suppose I had a few years as a teen where I starved myself to be thin and to fit im, but weight is always such a struggle for me. One day I guess I just thought to myself, I am going to eat whatever I want whenever I want and I don't care what anyone thinks. I guess I thought I was empowering myself or taking some sort of control of my life. I have never felt more out of control being heavy. I know that with my heart and mind in the right place and by the grace of God, together with all of you here, I can overcome. Somehow I can overcome. Wether it be getting approved for surgery or just learning to find better ways to cope with life other than eating, I have hope. With my eyes wide open I will overcome the pain and fear I have been living. 

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