Un-Welcome Food Nazis
Sep 19, 2011I find I am still intensely emotional about food. I hate it when people (ones I don’t know well or at all) come up to me when I’m eating and ask what it is. Not because I’m afraid they’ll ask for some and take it away, though that does annoy me to a degree as I carefully plan out my meals to have a well-balanced diet. No, it’s a bit deeper than that. When people stare at my food or at me when I am eating I feel judged. I always have, I can’t help it. When I was younger, I felt I was constantly judged for eating too much, in my diabetic years I felt judged by all those smug-non-diabetics who asked “Should you really be eating that?” Now that I’ve lost all my excess weight and am no longer diabetic I still get asked that. Apparently once you have weight loss surgery you aren’t supposed to eat anything tasty ever again. Who knew?! I don’t deprive myself, if I want something, I have some, and it’s not the end of the world. My stopping point is light-years behind where it used to be and I know what will happen if I mess up long term. Believe me, I won’t be doing anything to risk my diabetes coming out of remission. So why are people so freaking nosy about what I eat? This is why I don’t eat in the lunch room. I eat at my desk, but that doesn’t stop my co-workers from coming up and staring at my food while I’m trying to eat it, of course they also pick up whatever book I am reading off my desk and comment on that. Also annoying. People today have no concept of personal space. Am I overreacting? Is this just another case of a skinny girl casing with a food-hoarding fat girl inside? Am I ever going to get over people asking me “should you eat that?” “Are you really going to eat the much food?” (this usually from people who know i had the surgery but don't know much about it) and “Aren’t you afraid you’ll gain it all back if you eat things like that?”
Who knows, maybe I’m just crazy.
Harpers Ferry, WV
Oct 21, 2010