Nov 18, 2012
What do you people want from me? Some people say YOU are your harshest critic, if that’s true, then family runs a close second and they are NEVER happy!
I know, I know, be true to yourself and screw the rest of the world. Easier said than done.
My family is completely without tact. Like when my Grandmother attempted to compliment me on my weight loss by saying, “I knew you were beautiful under all that blubber!” yes, blubber, direct quote, it still distresses me to think about it. I know she meant well but the woman just doesn’t think before she speaks sometimes.
Yesterday, I went to a baby shower for my soon to be cousin (her fiancé is my first cousin) my aunt (his mother) asked me if I was pregnant (because my mom can’t keep her mouth shut about my plans) I’m not, wish I was but my period came Saturday, so I’m a little down about it. I don’t know if she thought I was lying or what when I told her I wasn’t but her response? ‘Well, I know you’re trying and it looks like you put on some weight some I saw you last.” Seriously?! Yes, I have, but the last time I saw her was at my all-time lowest weight when EVERYONE and their mother was telling me I looked anorexic. I tried to smile as I explained bounce back and how my doctor is exceptionally happy with my weight, just as he was when I hit my lowest weight but all the while I was aching inside. I wanted to scream “Are you trying to give me an eating disorder?” but I couldn’t, just like I can’t correct her when she calls me Ginny/Jenny (I freaking hate that name).
You don’t tell someone who has gone through everything I have that she’s putting on weight, that’s just asking for a plummet between now and the next time you see me!
Personally, I think my bounce back weight makes me look hot, I’d rather look like this than fit into a 00 (how is that a clothing size?! It’s a gage! If you’re below a 2 then go shop in the kids department they go up to 16) just to say I can. I’d rather eat healthily rather than picking at my food and dreaming of the size that I can’t happily/healthily/ easily maintain.
I had been planning to try to drop some of the weight to boost my fertility chances, so if I can lose a visible amount of weight (my goal is only 5 to 10 pounds) between now and the family Christmas party, I plan to let her think it’s because she gave me an eating disorder, I’m a little evil that way, but it should keep her from commenting on my weight ever again.
Sigh. Gotta love family.
My new cousin is freaking adorable, and the new family is doing great!