Jennchap

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

For all those who asked for a food list for the stages Ill post that next week

1.) Until goal I only ever ate at a table, with a plate and utensils. This curbed all snacking and mindless eating.

2.) 100oz plus of water daily

3.) During loss, two shakes a day and one all protein meal

4.) During maintainance one protein shake per day to maintain protein balance and over comsumption of calories

5.) Stay connected to the WLS community, be it though support groups, personal WLS friends, online support and so on

6.) Try new healthier foods

7.) Always use the sugar free option when there is one

8.) Plan food weekly, I go to TJs each Sunday and get my food for the week. Cooked chicken, ham, eggs, crumpets, walnuts, cottage cheese, pineapple, dried orange flavored cranberries, mixed dried berries, panchetta, lettuce, various dressings, peanut butter, multiple nut mixes, and various cheeses. To this day this is 85 percent of my diet.

9.) Be honest with yourself... on many levels. Dont lie to yourself about your bad habits, own that shit and handle it. Its may be difficult but is easier than dealing with the repercussions of destructive habits that go untamed.

10.) Take a shit ton of pictures

11.) Set small goals, big goals and reward the shit outa everything.... buy yourself clothes not food and buy them tight! No room for gain... Nothing makes you put down the fork like a fucking muffin top.

12.) Dont look at this as a change in your weight and body. Its a change in your entire life! You didnt gain weight just because you enjoy cuppycakes... it is typically a reflection of a lot more. Not all of us are Capitan happy and successful like dear ole Frisco. Love you Friskey boy... (Ill love you more if you brought me back a treat from that last trip of yours) Look at your life, why are you where you are? Is it where you want to be? How can you change things to be the person you want to be? Figure out that shit and make it happen. I changed my entire outlook on life and it was hard. I had to let go of a lot. I had to own that I wasn't honest with ME about how I felt about my life and those feelings perhaps led to many of my bad habits that led to becoming a big ole fatty. Being happy and fulfilled about all aspects of your life will serve you well all around, especially in the weight loss arena.

13.) Ask questions, there are none too stupid... The more you know the better youll do

14.) Make it to your follow up appts. Checking in is good for your head and keeps you in line. Accountability is

15.) Own your process. The ups and the downs, theres no room for blame....

16.) Weigh daily (this was a must for me I know many this wouldnt work for.) In my head if the scale is up I better watch what I am eating to drop back down to where ever it is I want to be and if its down or "normal for those in maintenance" its motivation to keep up the good work. I am at my best when I am well aware.

17.) Always choose the meal you will be eating at a restaurant before you walk through the fucking door. Dont set yourself up to fail. Go online. Choose your meal from their menu and dont even bother looking at a list of tempting foods you cant have. A bite off a friends plate wont kill you... Your own full plate of pasta just might. Okay it wont kill you but itll kill your success.

18.) If you know your about to go somewhere that you know will be tempting you with food. A party, super fatty restaurant, fill up first. I still do this. Have some dense meat or some almonds that will keep you full so you wont be tempted. And for those who say "what will my friends say if I dont eat" What the fuck kind of friends do you have? If my friends only like me because we can sit next to one another while eating, Im guessing I need some new friends!!! My company is gift enough damnit! How hard is it to say "I already ate but I really wanted to visit you cause youre just so fucking awesome" If they haven't noticed your trying to lose weight at this point it may be time for brighter friends anyway.

19.) Realize that your life will probably be ALL ABOUT WLS for a while and thats okay!!! You will get back to real life in time but if you dont focus now... you will have had surgery for nothing! There is a time frame on quick loss, if you dont get with the program it will pass you by and youll be a sad... and still chunky puppy.

20.) NEVER DRINK your calories!!!! There really is no excuse for this shit... I hear people cry about how much they love high cal coffees and shakes and soda. No sympathy folks... I love a lot of things I cant have but you dont see my dry humping Val Kilmer now do you!!!!

21.) Dont whine about all the foods you should be eating but "dont like" "cant stomach" or whatever and use that as an excuse to eat pizza... none of us want to live on fucking chicken and broccoli.... but we find shit we like that is on our food list and eat it. Its not about what you like and what you want.. You had what you liked and did it get you where you wanted to be? None of us wanted to be chillen on the beach in our 3x swimsuits now did we and thats where the foods we so loved got us. Ever notice the skinny bitch next you on the beach had a bottle of water? Didnt think so, why? Cause we couldnt see her ass past our foot long sub and family size bag of doritos... Okay thats it I think... Just the way I looked at shit... to get through it all

Hey guys!
So it was very different from the last meet up but very fun! We didn't get to visit nearly as much due to the nature of the boardwalk but it was nice to go on rides. Something many of us could not do before! Next time around we will do Vasona again so we can visit, do the clothing swap, recipe exchange and door prizes. 

Sub and I are wanting to put on a meet up in SoCal as well as our next NorCal one.

Had a blast making new friends wish we could have visited more and TRISTAK… I owe you!!!! We were all at PF Changs and somehow missed you. I am so sorry I didn't see your text. Me and you girl! We will go out, drinks on me!! And maybe well drag Sublimate, SweetItalian  and Jim out with us… they're party folks… were working on Frisco! haha Maybe a monthly night out is in order for us bay area folks?








 



























 










HHave to add this one…. LOVE IT!!!!!
 

 Okay, I'm putting this shit out there for you all to see! Were all adults right? So I am having bra issues and needed a new one, Ive been searching and no luck until tonight. Look at these babies... Holy shit... are those my boobs?!?!?! Biggest NSV ever... Pretty bras... If youre in my cells address book sorry for the text of my girls... I was excited! Okay and on to spanx... FUCK yes... The more boning the better! I left with one for under my dresses and the one in the picture below to go under shirts. The romper... well that was a good idea gone bad! A reminder... that I have a long way to go... I would love to wear it to pick up my 13 year old daughter from school just to watch her melt with embarrassment but I shall resist. Some of you have amazing things to do on your Friday night...I my freinds do not! I had a few ounces of rib eye steak and headed to the rack for a reality check.... and a bunch of shit I didnt need. It was a rough week and retail thearpy was in order! Sorry if these are risque... thought I'd share!

                                                            Before Spanx

                                                       After Spanx



                                           Said Spanx
 
                                        The Romper from Hell


                                                Pretty Bras....... YES YES YES
                               I may have had an orgasim in the dressing room
 

I went out in costume for the very first time ever! 
It was so much fun! It was nice to  be like everyone else for once. I always avoided going out for Halloween, just felt kinda blah about the costume choices when I was a size 20 and worried about not blending in . Its funny cause I was never really super self conscious when I was bigger but Halloween was a whole other ball game. I mean the girls always look amazing and you leave wishing you were someone else LOL.... Love just being another one of the "normal gals" and not worrying about how I look constantly. The sleeve really gave me my life back!!!

Fun silly night!!!

 I've always loved the colors of fall... and the flavors. All the pumpkin, carrot and spice breads, the smells of the fresh baked goods, pot roasts, ummm good stuff! It is this stuff that has made Fall one of my favorite times of the year but I was never too fond of the weather. Having always lived in SoCal it was HOT and all the fashion that rolled in every September was long sleeves... pants... cowl necks.. beautiful stuff  that I longed to wear but at my weight I  was already sweaty..... so much so it was too much to add any extra clothes and that kinda kept me indoors!
For the last 6 years Ive lived in Northern Ca but I still never got into the boots and sweaters. Its much cooler and more fall like here but I was still always sweating due to my weight. So I aimed at staying in doors in some boxers and a wife beater so as not to sweat like a fat lil pig on Christmas day. 
Well... this is my Fall. 
My first Fall.... as grown up that I can actually enjoy!!! I loved being outside today, enjoying the weather, the scenery, the kids... and I was able to wear my fun fall clothes. Long sleeves... and boots........I never broke a sweat.. even when chasing after my bad boys! 
My body is no longer getting in my way of living and loving my life...

Its official: I LOVE FALL....

 

Last night I was in my "Special Needs Child in the Community" class and we were discussing "Self Regulation." This is a skill/ability we "should" all have but don't always. As the Early Interventionist spoke she explained how this related to children with autism, learning disabilities and sensory integration disorder. She then went on to explain that there were perfectly normal children who for one reason or another don't have the skill set to self regulate. They can not sit still while you read a story, cant hold a pencil with out fidgeting and dropping it, can not communicate effectivly with their peers as they are all over the place even with much effort to remain still. We spoke about how given the right tools to channel their energy, gain focus and find their center of gravity they will slowly learn to self regulate for periods of time. Furthermore the children who do not have an actual developmental disability will acquire self regulation permanently as it will become their new norm and the symptoms will disappear. I enjoyed the presentation but my mind went right to weight loss. 
I am not a binge eater, I do not find massive joy in food, I do not sit around dreaming of my next meal.... nor did I before the VSG. I didn't rely on food for friendship or emotional support. 
I, my friends... just don't self regulate... well anything.  I take on 4 more projects than I can handle and then run in circles trying to finish them. I go dancing and have 2 more drinks than I should and poor Jimbo has to carry my ass home. I let the laundry pile up... then spend a whole weekend doing it. I spend more money than I should... on things I don't need without much thought... because I can. I "ATE" not eat... but ATE when I wanted to ... what I wanted to... without thought. I didn't obsess and need tons of food... I just never ever thought about what it was I was actually eating, how it affected my body or health, the carb/protein/calorie count... none of it. I went all day without eating cause I was busy... I ate a huge dinner cause I was hungry... there was not a lot of thought going into the process. I was not thinking out my actions and regulating them like a normal person would. Its just now how I operate as a whole. I'm more of  a do-er... less of a planning kinda thinker girl... I do... and then I think... and then I say.. "Oh Fuck, really Jen, really that was your choice" 
It's my nature I suppose...
I can now say the not only the VSG.... but the process of the VSG has made me a self regulator ... well as for the food part of my life is concerned. I was given the tools just like the disabled child was given a textured surface to sit on and touch in order to hold focus for story time. I was given meetings with a nutritionist... I learned how my body works, how foods affect me and how to best care for myself. I was invited, welcomed and included in support group meetings that let me see others just like myself, struggling and winning. I met doctors there, who supported me, I was given info every step of the way, not just about food but about life. I learned about the exercise I needed and the foods my new body would need. The list goes on and on...I met a wonderful therapist who helped me see how my life had affected me, how I became who I am and how I had to power to now become who ever I wanted to be. And lastly... a much needed tool, my sleeve. The restriction I so desperately needed was given to me. 
My tool box is full, I have been given every thing I need (so far) and now... thoughtlessly, effortlessly... I self regulate. I don't think about it, I don't cry about it. I don't worry about it... And at the same time... I don't mindlessly make choices that keep me from being where I want and need to be. Just like the little children who struggle to hold focus in class because they cant control their bodies and just go where the wind blows them... given the right people in my life who see what I need... and care enough to help... I was given the tools to help me self regulate and function just like every other"typically developed" person. It has become second nature. I have learned in this process that I have the power and need to take the responsibility to self regulate. Its what most people naturally do... it took a little work but now I control food and my body... its not just running wild like a wild turkey in November... well I guess by November... the turkey would be doing less running but you know what I mean. It just never occurred to me that people were so intune with their bodies that they just naturally stopped when no longer physically hungry, that they thought, hum I had a donut this morning so I should stick with a light lunch... but the more I talk to my thin friends... this is why they are thin...a  little thought and planning goes a long way... and now... I have the tools to be one of the regular guys...
Just a lil nugget from the mind of Jen...  I am now gonna enjoy the vicoden and hope this ear pain stops before I'm forced to shoot myself in the face...
If you read all this... I love you... If not... I totally understand.... 
Hugs, kisses and self control....
Jen

Let's see whats new in my life. I've been so busy with my little sister up here, I loving having someone here to hang out with. Makes me want to move home! The weight has been coming off pretty steadily and all is right with the world. Well not really but whatevs. I am doing my tummy tuck on July 11th and cant wait! It feels like I have a ton of changes in my life coming up in the next few months and Im feeling kinda like I need to figure out where I want to be in the future. I usually embrace change but this time its kinda rough. Its so hard to uproot shit and even harder to just let it remain when it shouldn't….

So my little Max is a fan of the butta... the peanut butter baby just like his mama! He like many of us takes his love for this creamy spread just a little too far at times...
Have a great weekend friends...
Hugs kisses and Peanutbutter
Jen and Maxie

It starts with a little taste

Then you need just a little more:


Then dibelief sets in... did I really just eat all that?!?!?!?


This is followed by disspoiment in your self your urges:  

And finally you must face the mess you have made    

Once again, its the very beginning of the week and life is a fucking mess. Go figure! So lets see, where to start.. where to start.

Okay, I was totally devastated last week when I woke to the news that ONE LIFE TO LIVE was canceled. WTF?!?!!? Will I ever know if John finds out he's Natalies baby dad? Which personality will rein supreme; Jessica or Tess? Will Brody win her back and does he still have visions of that little boy he killed in Iraq? Who the fuck killed Eddie Ford? Will that little fat black girl ever learn to act??? Did Todd really get a face transplant or have we all been fooled by years by someone who is nothing more than a hot imposter? Is Niki out for good or will Vicki get rid of her? Will Charlie find out Echo knew Clint was really Rexs father all along? Will Cole get out of Prison so he and Starr can live happily ever after or is he now some buff guys bitch? But most importantly will Shane continue to be bullied by Jack Manning and throw himself off a roof for real this time? How can they do this to me? Do they think I can just uninvest myself in the lives of all of those in Lanview after all these years?? FUCK ME… this is not going to boad well for me! I may have to create this madness in my own life just to make it through, if you're reading this and feel for me at all… let me know which roll you would like to play in my personal soap opera. I would like to play the hot, skanky, rich one… but not the one who crash lands on an island where a doctor leads the pack, an asian chick get knocked up by someone other than her husband and some skinny blonde guy finds ceramic dolls filled with coke…. Oh wait, nevermind, that was lost…

My two girls… (my party girls and besties) went to LA for a Biker rally that I was very sad to miss. While they were gone I received some amazing text messages…. some of random penis' …. and them sexually mounting harleys and some scruffy bikers I would have loved to work over. They come home with stories like no other and Im still sad I missed it… Slutty friends rock… thats really all I have to say about that… Their husbands… well would probably have more to say on the matter if they were aware that they did not go to LA to help a friends sister move?!?!?! Really are these men really that stupid… although I love that mine falls for all the same stupid lines… If I have to give Amy another fucking candle at 2am after a night of drunken dancing and grinding on sloppy drunk men so she can convince her husband that she was a fucking candle party I may kill myself. Ive had to give the bitch sex toys… jewelry… the list goes on and on… cause apparently every time we go out she's at some stupid candle/tupperware/cooking/jewelry/sex toy party…. Yeah for good friends….

My daughters two dads came to spend the weekend with her, they are a hot mess. Together they form almost one functional Father. Don't get me wrong they love her but they're a fucking mess. They hosted a BBQ for her at the park… which seemed weirdly awkward. They all sat there in silence with like all 14 of her guy friends who pretended to not notice that... her… dads well… that they're were two of them trying very hard to not appear gay. Maybe they were unaware that all the kids knew? I don't know but the level of uncomfortableness was very fun for me...They brought her an Easter Basket… and are you ready for this it was filled with: Bubble Gum Eggs, Whoppers, Peeps, Jelly beans…. and then… just because they're fucking retarded.. A can of Rosertia Refried Beans and some Pepper Spray! WTF… First off I get that they are Mexican and currently reside in East LA, I get that they are gay men and have no Clue what a 13 year girl likes but beans and pepper spray. She doesn't even eat beans… and is not even remotely trust worthy enough to carry pepper spray! She is already planning which friends to douse first… and under which circumstances it would be considered "self defense" as to avoid prison time FML…. When I tried to explain this them, they appeared not only totally confused by this information but offended that she wouldn't be "into the beans" OMG To think I spent over a year of my life fucking this man… FUCK FUCK FUCK…. 5 more years and she will be grown… Im marking my calendar with big rainbow colored fucking X's

So other than this the last few days have been somewhat normal… Ive been chatting with the Waffle while he is laid up and he will need all of your support if he ever gets home… and in the off chance he has to live at the hospital we will have to start sending care packages… Luckily the bitch cant eat so we wont have to send food…. Although… he likes to swallow so maybe we could get creative? 

Well theres an update into the world of Jen… 
Hugs, kisses and hairy cock
Jen

 Where to start…
So I spent Sunday trying on panties, bras and swimsuits to see what fits… all of my "skinny" ones fit. Yeah!!!! Im looking atmy ass and for once enjoying the view… amazed I can once again pull off a thong. I cant resist and pull out my ipod to dance half naked to the thong song...The asshole (husband) keeps making rude comments about the size of my ass or length of my boobs. Why can I not enjoy my moment in the sun mother fucker….I am ready to behead his dumbass! As I am going through my bathing suits I recall the amazing low-cut brown bathing suit I bought and never was able to wear. As I am looking for it I sadly recall were it went… Hope ya'll are sitting down. This my friends is going to knock your socks off. SO my MIL came by one day last summer, she was on her way to the gym and asked to borrow a suit. This was the only one I had that would fit her as it was pretty small. I handed it over (mind you I paid well over 100 bucks for the fucking suit!) she then tells me that she is going to a "special pool" and that this "special pool" has a "hot sucker" that she can pay an extra $25 so it can "suck her pussy." "Feel so good" she says. FML… I never asked for the suit back. I miss it… sad… sad…. sad. For hours I am pissed off at her but refuse to ask for the suit back. I know the bitch came in it… and she's has sex with dudes for money. Ill pass on crabs and herpes thanks…Fast Forward onto later Sunday night I go running with a girlfriend, I tell her I think my hubby is fucking around. This gets her thinking and she goes home and raids her long term boyfriends phone, he is apparently having sex with a slew of hookers. FML… I am feeling a little guilty for the demise of her relationship… frikken douche bags…. SO onto Monday MIL came by, which is never amazing. She once again rubs all over body to emphasize how much weight I have lost, when is this ever okay? She then gets a phone call, she's screaming in Vietnamese. I'm thinking she must be ordering a hit on one of her hookers. When she gets off the phone she informs me that her "hook up" has "come up" on some toilet paper and Tide laundry detergent… Really are you fucking kidding me? I love this "fell off of the truck" bullshit. She informs me that tomorrow she will pick up the goods. Fast forward to Tuesday morning, I unlock the door and attempt step out… I hit a wall… of toilet paper, supported by massive sized bottles of tide. Where the fuck am I supposed to put this?!?!?!? Should I be grateful, feel sorry for the poor shome who was ripped off or just have a shot and forget it all happened? Hopefully today is less eventful, but I have my doubts. On the upside I bought a new Itouch this week and love the forward facing camera… I hope they don't come out with a new one soon I cant afford to keep upgrading every fucking year!
Hugs Kisses and Herpes,
Jen

***UPDATE***
Today was not less eventful… I just spent 45 wandering a parking lot helping a little old lady from Idaho look for her lost car. We never found it, my legs hurt and I left her with security. The worst part was having to tell her that someone obviously stole her car which had some not occurred to her yet.
FML… and hers