Ashamed and depressed. Ughhhhhhhhh

Dec 10, 2010

I am 6 months out from my RNY.  I have lost 64 pounds.  I've lost 4 of those pounds in the past 8 weeks.  I have stayed away from this site because I didn't want to bring anyone down since everyone is doing exceptionally well with their diets, water, vitamins and exercise.

For the past 8 weeks, I have slowed way down on the exercise, not drinking nearly enough water, hardly ever take my vitamins and eating A LOT!  Unfortunately, I am able to eat sweets and fat with no problem at all.  I'm lactose intolerant thought since the surgery.  I certainly don't eat as much as I did before my surgery, but I do eat more than what I did a month after surgery.  I tend to get so full, I'm incredibly uncomfortable.  I know I'm stretching out my pouch.  My self destruction is beyond my comprehension. 

I do feel amazing about myself compared to how I felt before the surgery.  I've gone down 4 sizes, but stuck at a size 16.  I still have 48 pounds to go until my goal weight.  I've even been dating a little.  I didn't date at all for the past 3 1/2 yrs while I was at my heaviest.  But, I do know I'm still considered quite overweight and most men do prefer a more in shape woman.  I don't blame them at all.

Not sure what it would take to snap myself out of this funk.  Not sure why I'm so into sabatoging my own well being and physical appearance.

I'm so embarassed to even type all of this.  Again, I do not want to bring anyone else down, but if there is anyone else going through the same thing as me, then please let me know.

I should post some updated pics too. 

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