jennshelton

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OK, so i have blogged previously that i was concerned that i could consume more than i thought i should without feeling like i have overeaten so i was very nervous that my sleeve didn't work....well

IT WORKS! 

Last night i tried a recipe that was given to me by a fellow VSGer which is simply ricotta cheese with a little light tomato sauce over it with protein sprinkled in and then heated up.  It is like lasagna without the  noodles.  Well to say the least...it was delicious to me!  Well i ended up making more than i had originally planned so i scooped out a little and ate it but after i was done i was satisfied but (in my skewed opinion) i thought i still was a little hungry.  Well there was a little left over which i didn't think was that much so i decided to eat it.  Well i did (and probably a little too fast too) and MAN DID I KNOW I OVERATE!!!!! 

My stomach cramped, i could feel the food moving down my stomach and i was nauseous for hours.  This morning i woke up (and I'm usually very hungry for my protein shake) and i sooo don't even want to think about eating or drinking anything! 

I know i should not have eaten that much and i definitely regret it but in a weird way, it definitely gives me some comfort to know that my restriction works!  I definitely won't make that mistake again and I'm realizing that i don't know what full feels like b/c the old me was so use to overeating that almost every meal i felt miserably stuffed thus that is what i eventually equated as full.  So when i felt that familiar miserable feeling last night (though much worse with A LOT less food)...i realized that i wasn't truly enjoying food like i thought i was, i was just eating until i was miserable every day.  What a way to live!!

So, this morning, i sit here very thankful for my surgery and ready for the next step.  I know that i will struggle with the scale (when i retain some water and gain a pound) but i am beginning to believe that this might just work for me...and that is a miracle!  

And today i hit my 20 lbs lost mark!!!!  YAH!  I didn't lose ANY on my pre diet which is crazy b/c i stuck to it exactly (but i think it was b/c all the slimfast is high in carbs) but that means i have lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks so thats really encouraing! 

I also went back to work today and things are going great.  This has been a roller coaster ride.  I have to be honest the first week after surgery i was convinced i had made a mistake and should NEVER have put myself through it but today I am sooo happy i did it! 

I do have to fly out on Thurs for a business trip so please pray for me during that time. 

I didn't know if i would make it through the first few days but i survived and now feel soo much better!  I have lost 17 lbs as of my last dr. apt.  I got my drain out yesterday and that made a world of a difference!!!! 

I was fine with this whole process until tonight and now it is sooo real.  I'm just sooo scared that i forgot something or i should have prepared better but i know that this is the right thing for me.  I just wish that i could skip the next month and be on the other side of this mountain but God uses these times to create perserverance and trust in us and i want to learn and grow closer to Him. 

I go into the hosipital at 8:30 and my procedure is at 10:30 so please keep me in your prayers.  I will give an update when i feel up to it. 

I'm super excited but super scared too!  When i first started my pre-op diet, i thought i was going to be miserable but that only lasted a couple of days and then i think my stomach strank a little so it hasn't been bad at all the last 2 days. 

I just can't get it out of my head that this might not work...which scares me more than anything but i know it will if i stick to the diet.  My parents are coming in tonight and are staying a couple of days to help take care of me but i'm just hoping that in there quest to help me they don't drive me nuts too!  lol

Well...here's to a life changing experience!!!

Today i joined OH and am hopeful that it will be a great support system for me. 

So here's the start to my story and journey.  I am a Christian and so i believe God is in control of my life but i also believe that He gives us wisdom so that we can take care of our bodies.  I have struggled with my weight since i was 5 years old.  In high school i starved myself and got down to a size 14 (which is small for me) and then in college gained to a size 26.  After college i went on a hardcore low carb diet for 2 years and dropped 100 lbs and went back down to a size 14.  I was miserable though.  I couldn't go to eat with my friends and eventually i stopped losing weight and thus my motivation left.  I then got engaged and got on birth control in preparation for marriage and gained 80 lbs back!  At this point i felt utterly defeated.  I went to a funeral and met more of my extended family and that was when i knew i had to do something.  I looked around this room and every woman there was obese, had diabetes, hypertension, back problems etc.  I saw my future and it was horrifying.  

When i came home i talked to my husband about it and he has always been supportive of me though he thinks I'm beautiful at any size.  We secretly went to a seminar (b/c you know everyone has a bias about this type of surgery) but left it feeling even more defeated.  This doctor made all the surgeries sound like i would never have a normal life again and that is all i truly wanted.  I decided i would just keep it in prayer and not mention it anymore until God gave me direction.

A couple of days later, i was at work during prayer time and someone asked for prayer for our nurse who was going to have the gastric sleeve done.  I was amazed b/c i had no idea she was considering it.  I then spoke with her who had done all the research and her husband is a doctor so he had checked the Nicholson Clinic out.  We then all went to a seminar at the NC and found Dr. Nick to be encouraging, honest, and sincere.  I found hope there! 

Everything worked out sooo quickly.  I scheduled a consultation apt on July 30th and my surgery was scheduled for Aug. 11th.  God worked out all the finances, work schedule, and gave me the peace that this was what i needed to do.

The next day after my consultation i started my pre-op diet.  I haven't lost much weight but am very excited for the surgery.  I have had several ups and downs but i know this is what i want to do so that i can be healthy enough to live a life for Christ.  I can't wait to share how God uses this is my life.  

beginning my journey now...