jenxcat

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So it has been two years as of today since I had my gastric bypass surgery. It FLEW by, and to be honest, I didn't even realize that today was my 2 year "anniversary" if you will....because I feel like I failed myself at this thing.

Don't get me wrong, it started out great, I lost a lot of weight initially, I'd say probably close to 100 lbs overall, which feels good, but it is NOWHERE near where I thought I would be. Im still about 250. 

It started the normal way, I got off track, a little snack here, another there, not enough protein, little exercise, wasn't taking all my vitamins.....then it was a lot of snacks here a lot of snacks there, oh and throw in the fact that I got pregnant not even 7 months after I had surgery...so now I had cravings galore. I lost the baby at 4 months (Dec 07) which was right about at my 1 year mark, and at this point I had stopped losing weight, and havent lost since. I think I actually may have gained about 10lbs because of the pregnancy and then the loss I was very depressed and as someone who is obsessed with food does, I turned to food. I certainly felt like I couldn't talk to anyone about the loss because I really don't like sympathy parties....
Six months later, in June, I had to have my gall bladder removed, I had nearly 15 gall stones...and it was because of my eating habits. So since then I've been more cautious. I can say that was QUITE the wake-up call. I didn't want to be in there, I hadn't gone to see Dr. Moen because I was embarrassed about getting pregnant (It wasnt planned and definitely nothing anyone was proud of - I think I was the only one who was semi-excited but at the same time scared to death) and having another surgery was not in the plans. So I cleaned up my diet, I most recently joined the gym, and I take ALL of my vitamins and iron and B12, Calcium, and plenty of protein....

There is no doubt in my mind I streched my pounch. I can eat WAY more then I SHOULD be able to. So what do I do now? Im ALWAYS hungry. I eat a small portion, then not even 2 hours later Im starving again. Im on a very limited income, so I can't afford the healthiest of foods ALL of the time although I try, but I feel like SUCH a failure. Im embarrassed to call Dr. Moen again, last time I went I felt horrible because they told me I had GAINED since my previous visit. Im just so lost. I really thought this surgery was my 2nd chance, and I feel like I just BLEW IT!

i have an appointment with Dr Moein tomorrow at 10:30am!! I will update AS SOON AS I get back in the house. It's been forever since I have written anything and I know this I apologize. 
Everything has been going great though I am around 255-260 I am down to a 18-20 from a 24-26 and I feel a lot better (and a lot sexier!!) haha. I haven't been eating everything I am suppose to and by that I mean I cheated a few times but I try I really do because I know I can do some major damage should I revert back to my old habits!
I do however feel like my weight has stabalized which is BAD BAD BAD. Ill update more tomorrow!

Just updating to let everyone know that I had my one month appointment this week, I have lost 35lbs which calculates to 18% of my excess body fat so I am definitley on my way. I am also allowed to start full foods again so wish me luck with that.

P.S. Rest In Peace Anna Nicole Smith
I blame it on TrimSpa, that stuff had me in fetal position throwing up on my bed 3 years ago!

P.P.S. Dr. Moein is so hot! :-)

Well its nice to have moved on to my puree portion of the diet, however i made a mistake and didn't puree my chicken enough just a few minutes ago and it felt like the food was stuck inside of me it was so painful. I thought I was going to throwup, and i tried to, but i couldn't make it happen. it was HORRIBLE never again will I forget to puree enough and when I move on to solid foods I now know that I have to chew the heck out of the food so that I don't have to go through that again. Other then that everything is great. I had my appt with my PCP today and weighed in at 296lbs!!!! Amazing, I couldn't be happier. Let's see what the official weigh in is on Feb. 2nd with Dr. Moein and then I will update my ticker. My parents come tomorrow and Eren is here for the weekend as always so I apologize for not having written a whole lot. Gotta take the Joe for a walk. Update soon!

So I am basically back to normal now in terms of my energy and physical ability to move and bend and be human. Basically NO pain anymore and the full liquid diet is working out great I am not as miserable as I was on the clear liquid diet, so many more options. My parents just left a few minutes ago from their 2 week stay helping me recover. My friend Eren stayed for the weekend, that was a true test of how much will power I would have because my parents and Eren all ate normal food (that meatball sub looked amazing) while I hovered over my 4oz of cream of chicken soup. It wasn't too bad though. Another test was going to the movies 3 times this weekend. (Twice to see dream girls haha). The smell of movie theater popcorn has ALWAYS been my weakness, I fantasized about getting some, but I made it through all of the movies without being angry or upset that I couldn't have any so I think I will be fine. I also found my South Beach Diet cookbook which is going to work out really great once I am back on solid foods because all of the recipes are now sugar/little to no carbs! Now, since my parents left, I am on my own. After a weekend of full house it is so quiet now! Troy has his surgery on Wed. so I have to wish him a good luck of course. My clothes are starting to feel loose on me which is exciting and everyone is telling me they notice a difference. I can't wait to keep loosing the weight! I'll update more when something exciting happens :-)

I FINALLY SLEPT MY FIRST FULL NIGHT THROUGH! 

Just got home from my 1 week appointment with Dr. Moein. I weigh 308, down from 330 which is AMAZING! My drain is OUT! Dr. Moein tricked me by telling me to put my hand on my shoulder because I asked him if it was going to hurt and told him I couldn't handle the pain. He was just laughing at me and then he pulled it right out and that was that. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be it happened so fast. AND.....I AM ALLOWED TO MOVE ON TO FULL LIQUIDS! I thought he was going to make me wait because of the dehydration incident when he told me I'd have to "graduate" to full liquids, but he said I could start, so I'm making some cream of chicken soup right now SO done with broth and gelatin! I saw the woman who had surgery the same day as mine (I forgot her name isn't that horrible) anyway she looked good too she was down 13, but she told me she was already pureeing chicken and thats not good, but I think the nutritionist heard her and told her she shouldn't be doing that. It's such a great staff at GBMC, seriously, and this weight is just dropping 22lbs gone! I'll update more later I'm so excited about this cream of chicken, you have no idea, no time for blogging! 

if you are getting surgery soon or have recently gotten it you should definitely read this post... i found my self in the hospital today after only 4 days of being home. Last night I had excruciating pain on my right side that forced me to take 2 dosages of roxicet, my pain med, per a 3am phone conversation with Dr. Moein, who is amazing. I also had a minor headache. When i woke the pain on my right side was gone but the headache was 20x worse. I looked and felt like the living dead. This apparently was my bodies first sign of dehydration. I recieved 3 IV's of liquids and felt good as new. Somehow i was 2 days behind on liquid... i drink on average 55oz a day which i knew was under but i didn't know it would have such an affect. Dr. Moein took great care of me though only down side is he may delay my moving onto full liquids Thursday when i see him. 
Bummer.
[sidenote] i posted this using the internet channel on my Wii on my Tv...how cool is that!

I'm feeling a litle better today, and I slept more last night than any other night post-op..i've found for some reason I can't make it through the whole night. I didn't sleep all day (the meds put me to sleep) I did my walking and sipped on liquids as ordered. I took a shower it felt amazing and I think this will be a farely speedy recovery. My sore throat from the breathing tube during surgery is also gone and my lips are no longer chapped so thats good too. I'm beginning to feel human again!
I am already getting sick of the clear liquid choices however...it feels like everything is just SWEET except the broth. I've had water, isopure, SF gelatin,SF Icepops, I bought pedialyte pops too cause they were on the list but it says they have 25g of dextrose so i dont think i can have them does anyone know?, lets see I drink broth and tea and crystal light. So it SOUNDS like I have a selection but it gets boring quick. Any ideas? I had a dream about cookie dough ice cream last night...at least it was a dream right haha I can do this I just need to get past these first few days. I think I'll be FINE on the full-liquid diet cause I love cream of chicken and cream of brocolli and jello pudding and carnation instant breakfast etc...we will see. I know the cravings for things like cookie dough will eventually go away.

Well I'd like to first thank EVERYONE for their support!! It has been an EXREMELY long 2 days. Let me start from the beginning of what I remember. 
I woke up bright and early on Wed, the day of surgery. I was more excited than nervous at this point, but as soon as I arrived in the waiting room and registered I began to get very nervous. As soon as I finished registering I was told to get my family and we walked into the pre-op area. It was a bunch of open rooms with large curtains where I you were assigned to one and then changed into your gown, these no-slip socks and a hair net. They come in and go over all of the basic medical questions that you've heard 1000 times and then your vitals are taken, blood is drawn, urine sample, and they insert the IV. You meet with the nurse, anesthesiologist, your doctor, and then you are taken by wheel chair to the surgery room. It's huge and your all white table is sitting right in the center with plenty of lights and machines surrounding it. I got onto the table, they hooked me up to the machines, and the anesthesiologist, Dr. Moein, and the head nurse watched over me as I fell fast asleep within 15 seconds. It was pretty painless and they covered me with those warm hospital blankets which felt amazing. The next thing I remember was waking up in recovery to the sounds of who I think was Dr. Moein and the Anesthesiologist. His last name started with an Am but I don't remember it exactly, he was amazing as was Dr. Moein I felt so comfortable with them. My surgery took about 4 hours but was uneventful so I am not sure as to why it took so long. 
In recovery you are attached to oxygen, blood pressure, these things around your ankles to prevent blood clots which feel like a personal masseuse, the EKG, and IV, and probable something else. I watched the time click by slowly, they wouldn't let me go to my room until I was breathing well enough on my own. If your oxygen level went under 90 the machine would beep, but after about 3 hours I had it at a steady 97. The recovery RN kept reminding me to take deep breaths but I kept drifting into sleep and when I did that the oxygen level fell. FINALLY I was rolled to my room when I dozed off and on for about 5 hours until Dr. Moein came in and asked me to get up and walk. At this point, lying down, I was barely in any pain at all. Getting out of the comfy hospital bed which was designed for bariatric patients was extremely difficult; it required rolling to my right side and configuring my body to roll off the bed without hurting my stomach. Walking was a bit difficult; I had to roll the IV along with me while the nurse followed. I attempted to sit in the recliner, but that hurt too much so I laid back in bed. I loved having the pain medication at my touch every 10minutes. Unfortunately they take that away the next day when you start eating your clear liquids. It's replaced with this horrid liquid stuff it’s so nasty. It was hard for me to sleep the first night, I started to feel some pain and the nurses kept coming in to check vitals, replace IV's give shots, and once a night to draw blood. I think I dozed off every 30minutes. 
In the morning of the day after surgery I was taken downstairs to do the upper GI and chest x-ray. The liquid was again, horrible, but I was only asked to take a few sips of it, I didn't come anywhere near finishing the cup. Everything was fine so around 2pm I finally got some water and jello and a sugar free ice pop and some chicken broth. The protein liquid was horrible so if you can bring your own, bring it. I brought Isopure and drank that. They get on you about breathing and walking and staying out of bed. If you don't you'll get a fever, which I and the girl next door both got that night. I also began to feel pain from built up gas and diarrhea. I am still suffering from both of these symptoms which are making life unbearable. It hurts a lot now but I am seeing improvement in how much I can bend and walk and such. I’m a bit tired right now but if I think of anything to ad ill post another posting. Thanks for reading!