Jessicam2589
Hey all! My name is Jessica, and I had open RNY on 07/11/06. I was 19 years old. My highest weight was 268 pounds and weighed 256 the day of my surgery. Where do I begin with my story?
I remember when I started my very first diet. I was 7 and weighed 120 pounds. I remember my mom was going to help me lose weight, but she wasn't allowed to let ANYONE know how much I weighed. I was ashamed and embarassed by it then. My sister found out, made fun of me, and embarssed me to no end. Then there are different I guess landmarks in my life that I went thru when I can distinctly remember how much I weighed and how old I was. In fourth grade I was up to 141 pounds and I was only 9. Then again in seventh grade I weighed 206. My weight has always been a huge part of my life. I think its so sad that I remember these things. I let my weight define who I was and the value I had as a person.
I tried dieting all thru my childhood and during my teenage years. The only real organized diet I did was weight watchers. All the other times I watched my calories and exercised. I would always start out so strong and do so well for two weeks, but then would always fall off track. I had absolutely no will power. That was my biggest downfall. But after I got off track it was always, "I'll start my new diet Monday." Unfortunetly the only thing that work for me was my junior year of high school I decided I just wouldn't eat. I had just turned 17 and was really getting into boys, but knew that no boy was going to like me weighing 250 pounds. So for four months I just didn't eat. And when I did it wasn't much. I remember getting satisfaction out of that hungry feeling. It made me feel like I was finally getting control of my body. I got down to 217 pounds and then met my now ex-boyfriend. He loved me for me and didn't care what i looked like, so slowly I started eating more again. I honestly don't think i could ever be anorexic. Once I had somebody's approval for the way I looked, I turned around and went right back to food.
And then I just ballooned up to 268 pounds.
I started researching weight loss surgery in April of 2006 I believe. I went to a informational meeting with LivLite and met the surgeon and just learned more about the surgery. After I let I KNEW this was what I needed to do for myself. I needed to get my weight under control. I submitted my papers to LivLite and they contacted my insurance company. Within a week I was approved. They made it SOO easy! I was kind of suprised I was approved so quickly because I didn't have any problems really related to my weight. I had border line high blood pressure, but nothing really yet. I was so realived to find out they approved me! I met with the nutrisionist and my surgeon, and I got the date of July 11, 2006. I only had to wait one month to have surgery! The time flew by and the next thing I knew, I was being wheeled in for surgery.
I remember waking up in ICU thinking to myself, what did I just do to myself? I was so out of it and in so much pain. When I finally came too (and quit making passes at the nurses...that was embarassing!) I just remember not being able to move or to even breathe. I was hooked up to everything and its mother and it took me awhile to grasp everything that had happened in the previous 4 hours. The sweet nurses wrapped me in a brace to hold my insides in and then made me walk. I probably looked like death walking, I knew I felt like it. I went in for surgery on a Tuesday morning, and they released me out of the hospital that Saturday afternoon. I was out of work for 4 weeks, and I got to stay with my momma that whole time! She and my sister took sooo good care of me! I don't know what I'd do without them.
Well there you have it...I think...
