Jewels5872

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Happy New Year!!!  Well Last month i was at 173 I have lost 5 pounds and am down to 168.  I have bounced up to 172 and then back down to 168 not sure why but I am back.  I am really trying to use my fitness pal and my new fitbit to keep me on track with calories in and calories out. Im still using the elliptical and walking a lot. I really want my goal to be 150 although i am now thinking this may be to thin.  I KNOW you can never be to thin or to rich lol. I am wearing solid size 8 and i could maybe wear some 6 if i didn't have so much skin.  But that a whole other situation.  My hips and legs are really thin i still carry weight in my upper half of my body. shoulders and back.  i guess I will just keep doing what i am doing and see what happens maybe 160 is a more realistic goal.  I will still push for 150. just cause i am not a quitter. lol

I am a little late on this update.  So as of December 1st I had only lost 1 pound!! I was at 173 Since then I have moved a bit but I will keep that till my 6 month update.  I am still doing cardio everyday. walking at least 10k steps if I can.  i got the fitbit and love it. I need to stay focused on drinking my water. that seems to be a bit of an issue. other than that i am doing ok I actually had a turkey burger patty yesterday and it stayed down.  that was a nice surprize!  Thinks are getting more "normal"  I will try to do better on updateing!

Well we are at 4 months and I feel like life is almost back to somewhat normal.  Well my new normal.  I have hit and passed the 40 ponds lost. I have lost a total of 42 pounds.  I have lost 6 pounds this month. Not as much as last month and I am ok with that.  I want to lose another 24 this is in a perfect world.  I am already at 174 which by my own words is my Happy Weight.  I would just really like me to be at 150 the lowest I have ever been.  I have been working really hard at working out.  I have worked my way up to 31 minutes on the eliptical. I am pretty proud of that.  I am eating about 1200 to 1450 calories.  I am useing my fitness pal to keep track.  I am still doing protien smoothie first thing in the morning.  I am also walking about 10,000 steps a day on top of the eliptical work out.  We will see where this month takes us:)   

I finally hot 3 months out!  I am thrilled to be finally here!  I have  lost 9.5 pounds this month.  This makes a total of 35 pounds.  I wanted to lose 40 in 2 months and i have yet to hit 40 as of yet:( BUT i am very proud of where i have come.  I am walking about 6 miles a day. i go between 900 and 1200 calories a day.  It really all depends what i am doing that day, if i do not have a lot to do i get board and eat more.  I still have issues with some more dense foods. so i eat a lot of soft foods but i am getting better:)  I am wearing clothes i haven't been able to wear but some clothes are still to tight. I am in to a size 10 but i have tons of size 8's that i want to fit back into.  I really want to be wearing size 6 again! at my lowest i was wearing a size 4! but i will not push it.  I stalled for a 3 weeks and that was not very cool! Then i lost a lot of weight!

I am hoping for the next month i have slower goal because i am getting closer to my final goal!  I will ay 6 pounds is where i would like to end up. This will put me on track to lose only 14 pounds left to lose! I know it will be a slower pace from here on out.

 

ON TO NEXT MONTH!

I am now two months out.  I am very proud of myself and what I have accomplished.  After being back to work i have gone on two conventions and that alone is so hard.  Last week I was in Toronto and i struggled because i have such a hard time eating certain foods.  I lived off protein shakes and protein bars.  I still cannot eat raw veggies or raw fruits chicken or shrimp. Fish is a little easier.  I have tried tuna raw and seared and i did very good with that.  I did start to workout.  I am walking 3 times a day and tomorrow my and my husband are going to start a squat challenge 25 squats per day for 25 days.  I still feel gross and not where i need to be.  OH I FORGOT.... I lost 6.5 pounds.  I wanted to lose 10 and be at 30 pounds in 2 months but 27 pounds in two months isn't so bad.  BUT like i said i still feel gross about me.  In my mind i need to be at 165 to 170 to feel like i am where i need to be.  This next month my goal was going to be 10 pounds but i feel like this may be a little ambitious. I am not sure what I want to do I guess I should give myself a challenge but not set myself up for failure so I guess i will say....10 lol why not! Until next month!

well so far so good. its like reliving an old memory though.  I have lost 19.5 pounds I'm very happy with that. I honestly didn't expect to lose that much.  My goal for next month is 10.5 pounds.  I am doing ok other than the certain foods not working in my diet. i decided to stay on soft foods a little longer cause moving to more solid foods was causing pain and discomfort. I need to start thinking about ways to excursive it is so much more difficult this time due to the fact last time i was a real estate agent and made my own hours. Now I am a sales manager and have office hours.  i need to try to figure it out soon though. week six i can start working out. i have been walking mid day at work,... when i can.  Please feel free to contact me. I know when I was thinking about revision it was hard to find people who were talking about it.  Until next month!

9 years ago in February I started on a journey. I had RNY Gastric by pass in Costa Rica. I could not have this surgery in the states because I was a Healthy FAT person. At 315 pounds and 5'8" my BMI was 48. Normal is around 18 - 25. I was severely obese. I got all the way down to 155 pounds but I was a size 4. Most RNY patients bounce up to a more reasonable weight and I did to about 170 - 175 pounds and a size 8. Over the next 9 years a lot happened to me, I met my daughter who I had place for adoption and have the most incrediable relationship with her. I found the love of my life David and married him. I got comfortable. I started eating more than I should. Eating more of what i shouldn't and less of what I should. Food was my safety. I had some low times and I should of turned to my husband or family. I turned to food. People who do not have this addiction can not understand but lets try to put this into some perspective for you. You are a smoker now stop smoking. Not so easy uh? well know imagine that the nicotine you crave is also necessary for life. With an addiction you need to give it up. Drugs, alcohol, Smoking, and even gambling. FOOD on the other hand you kinda need to eat. It is the "dirty" secret we don't talk about. I mean who wants to say "I'm Julie and I am a food addict" No one!

I began to gain weight. I was failing at RNY. The surgery did not fail me I failed me. We want to make excuse because we are embarrassed. We don't talk about how we eat for comfort. I had a pouch that only was 2 ounces and in the last 2 years I stretched it to 2.5 ounces. Does't seem like a lot but the reason why I didn't stretch it more was because I thew up 4 to 5 times a week. But event with that I caused damage. With RNY you have a small opening at the bottom of your pouch that is called the stoma. It makes sure the food stays in your tummy so you feel full longer. My stoma was completly stretched out. I had over eaten so many times for so long that i could fill my pouch and be full for about 45 mins then I was starving again. So I would eat again. So the cycle began.

I ballooned to 215 pounds. In perspective I was no where near 315. However I was slowing working my way up and killing myself everyday. I would eat feel guilty, purge, eat again. This is not something easy to admit. There are a lot of us. some of us had gastric some haven't. Some of us have eating disorders and some fight it with drugs or alcohol. You have no idea who we are. Some of us don't have a weight issue. Some of us carry our addiction on us like a stigma of shame. We lie we say things like "i'm big boned" PS BONES ARE NOT BIG! These are not lies to just you. It is lies to ourself. I saw post of someone who wrote "Just put the donut down" DUDE if it was that easy do you think we would? Sometimes I would find that I ate 5 cookies and didn't remember I did it.

Monday I had RNY Revision Surgery. I went to Mexico because again nothing wrong with me. I am not here to be judged or to be criticized. I did this because I chose to take control and it is like a drug addict going into rehab. I NEEDED HELP.

I am posting this because we don't talk about this. We shame ourself which is part of the cycle. I have talked to so many people i was honest and guess what they felt the same way I was feeling. We need to help each other. we need to support each other. celebrate wins and work through failure. But mostly we need to love ourself. I have been the happiest I have been in my life for a long time yet I was still suffering from this. It affects so many people. Men and Women as well as children.

I am committed to change will I fail sometimes YES! I am human. But I want to be committed to not just me but to being that person someone can walk up to and say I need help. I can't help you but I can take a minute out of my day and listen. Tell you its not just you. Your not alone. Don't shame yourself. Love who you are. We are all on this planet for a reason. I feel like I have 2 reasons. 1. To be a birth mom 2. To be a person who lives with obesity and not just ride the struggle bus but owns a fleet of struggle busses! 

I would love to have monthly "Happy Hours" so we can sit around and talk about what we deal with an how to cope. Who knows maybe thats a dream.

So this journey has side tracked and I am on to a new journey it feels the same but it is so different. For those of you who want to know. I had a GREAT experience with my surgery. I am doing great. I am really sore and a little tired. Tijuana Bariatrics was where I had my revision with Dr. Dr. Fernando Garcia Govea.

Please do not hesitate to call, text email or walk up to me and talk to me about this. However if you want to judge me, Feel free just leave me out.

I am off on my journey again.

 

I will weigh once month 

 

  RNY 2.2.06  271/155/ RNY REVISION 6.30.14 215/?/143

May 2 2014:

 

Wow a lot has happened since i last posted uh 7 years ago... Lets see. I moved to orlando to work for Hard Rock Cafe worked real hard and moved into the sales team got lead that a Dave and Busters was hiring and i got the job! then a year later i got promoted:) While at Hard Rock I met a man! omg he was amazing.....Jan 9 2010 i got married! 4.5.14 my daughter got married My son turned 18 and moved out....WOW thats a lot.  In all that over the last year i gained 40 pounds and then another 10 and I was mad....

June 30 2014 I fly to Mexico for revision.  I can't seem to find a lot on revision. so just like before I am going in blind. I was reading my blogs and I see i went horribly wrong. I drink soda water...BAD i eat more carbs than i should BAD not drinking enough water or protein BAD  

I guess we will see if this works for me. Until then....

BEFORE

Wrist: 7"

Bicept: 17.5"

Neck: 17"

Chest: 53"

Braline: 46"

Middrift: 48"

Belly: 48"

Thighs: 29"

Calfs: 18.5

Hips: 51"

Ankels: 11"

Knees: 18.5"

Size: 24

Weight: 271lbs



1 YEAR OUT

Wrist: 7"

Bicept: 14"   (-3.5")

Neck: 15"  (-2")

Chest: (around nips)42" (-11")

Braline: (under breast) 35.5 (-10.5")

Middrift: 35" (-13")

Belly: 36" (-12")

Thighs: 23.5 (-5.5")

Calfs: 17" (-1.5")

Hips: 39" (-12")

Ankels: 9" (-2")

Knees: 16" (-2.5)

Size: 7 - 8

Weight: 167lbs

Total Lost : 104lbs

Total Inches: 75.5"

I dont miss her...not one bit... the girl who HAD to be funny because it could over shadow the fat and pain she carried around....the girl who would at night go and eat whatever carbs she could fit in her cubby lil face just to feel better. that same girl could not tie her shoes with out holding her breath, or sit on the floor with out having to roll around to get up, sit comfortably in a booth at her many favorite resturants. She hid her self consionsness with a crazy loud personality which masked the pain of who she was. She wore clothes that a fat girl really should not of. she thought being fat was who she was...who should would always be. i dont miss her....im happy she is gone... a year ago today she died and a beutiful self emerged...this new girl is still unsure with her new self..still "trying out her new body" she still fights the urge to turn to food for comfort and she still misses some of her favorite things like oreos and bread...but she is growing learning and loving who she has become. i dont miss her..... 104 pounds gone 8 sizes down the new me....i like her im glad she is here J (crying....but happy tears)