The Girl Ninja

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I made it through my TT on Aug. 2nd and am finally feeling 'me' again!  I ended up with an infection a few days post op and was admitted to Yale for a couple days so that set my recovery back a bit.  It was hard for me to get my energy back and feel healthy again but here I am!    

The first few weeks were tough as I was sore and only lasted 1/2 a day or less before needing to go to bed.  But I just rode it out and now I can do a full day no problem.  I still have swelling but it's getting better.  My PS is very pleased with the results and so am I :-)  He took off about 9 lbs of extra skin.  So strange and wonderful to live without hanging tummy- I've had it all my life.  It's such a great feeling! 

Well my first PS surgery date has come and gone... June 26th was to be the day that I finally got rid of my excess stomach skin...  I've had this hanging stomach since I was a child and I was so excited about it.  

Then I had to be an ass and decide to go on a gardening binge.  Pulling weeds that turned out to be poison ivy and so forth.  I ended up with a raging case of systemic poison ivy all over my body.  It cropped up two days before surgery.  I can't imagine why they didn't want to operate ;-)  

I was very disappointed as I'd had a rough summer of it as it was- tooth infections, cyst on my ovary - you name it.  I felt like I was falling apart.  I needed to use pain meds for these issues and that made me feel even more out of control... Depression is a tricky thing with me so I tried my best to claw my way out of it.  

Anyway, my new date is August 2nd.  My aunt is coming from Cali to take care of me for a week as Ant can't take much time off with his new position.  He made a quick promotion from Chief to Warrant officer and wow- what can I say but that he blows my mind...  

My TT is first and once I'm healed from that we will do the breast reduction and lift.  The biggest surprise of all is that Tricare approved both on the first go round.  I am so happy about that!  I am truly blessed that things are falling into place for me.  

Admittedly I need to up my protein as it's been hard for me to do being sick these past couple months.  Water too. 

I just got back from taking the kiddies to Maine for a few days so now I am refreshed and ready to concentrate on my wellbeing....

As usual there are many changes going on in our home.  Anthony returned from the Chief's academy and I was able to fly out and attend his graduation which was excellent.  It was a very touching ceremony and formal dinner.  I am so proud of him.  
He received word that he is making his next promotion of warrant officer which means a new position at a new unit.  Luckily he was able to land a position in New Haven.  We are selling our home and have found a beautiful colonial on a little bit of land in Middletown so the commute will only be 40 minutes for him.  
My father-in-law has been in Spain for two months and having the house to ourselves has been wonderful!  The kids have missed him- I pick him up tonight. 
I have been fluctuating between 169 and 173 for quite sometime now.  No major losses, just playing with these 4-5 lbs.  I work out regularly and eat cleanly.  There are days when my eating sucks but the difference is now I jump right back on track.  Not only does it effect my weight when I make poor food choices but it effects how I feel physically.  As usual my water intake could be better- but my protein intake is good.
I took the first step towards getting my TT and breast reduction/lift and got the referral from my PCM.  He was quick to say that Tricare wouldn't pay for it but I am not sure he is correct.  I have had rashes and pain from carrying the extra skin and have seen my dr. in the past for it.  I'm hoping that since it is a medical issue that Tricare will pay for it.  I've seen many other people who have had no problems with them on TT's and such.  And others who have had to appeal.  We'll see!  
I'm excited because I really think I'll be able to 'see' this extreme weight loss and to feel it once my stomach is gone.  The fact that it's even there makes me feel like I'm 280lbs and forget about the rest.  It's ridiculous.  I see the before and after pics of others and think- 'wow they look so great, why do I look the exact same?'  It's not logical I know but... 
I feel great and love that I fit in clothes that I never dreamt of trying before!  I am so thankful for this!

It's been a time of change at our house.  The past two months have been hectic but good.  Anthony's dad has been staying with us.  He came out in January and left in Feb. to visit his sister in Spain.  It's still up in the air what he'll do in April when he returns.  
We got orders first to Upper Michigan- which was crushing because we love CT- but then were offered a billet in New Haven instead.  We are ecstatic that we get to stay.  But we are house shopping now as it's nearly an hour and a half from where we are now w to New Haven.  
Anthony left for his course at the chief's academy on Feb 9th - he's been gone a loooooooong time.  Managing 3 kids, 2 cats, a dog and a big house ain't easy solo.  Next week I fly out for his graduation, sans kids, so it will be a nice break!
The big news of course (never mind all the life changing stuff!) is that I've dropped down to 168.5 and I'm thrilled!!  I bought an elliptical trainer to help mix up my home workouts and apparently it's doing the trick.  I'm so much more hopeful now than I was after my 1 year appt.  I know now that with hard work losing more and continuing to lose IS possible! 

I thought I'd never make it but this past week I busted my butt with workouts, getting in more water and varying my foods from the same old routine. All the stars must have been in alignment because as of today I am no longer only 96lbs down but finally am a full 100lbs down! 
I am a 'slower' loser to begin with but hovering around that magical century mark was driving me insane!!!  Not to mention depressing -after what my surgeon's P.A. said about being doubtful I'd lose anymore weight.  I hated thinking that this was it and my plateau had been going on since late October so having my body begin to lose again was a big deal.  It proved to me that I am capable of more losses and I am more motivated than ever!  

I've been so energized by this latest drop of 4-5lbs that I'm smiling all the time.  I've waited for so long to hit the century mark and always envisioned marking the occasion by buying myself a piece of jewelry or such.  Too bad I'm broke!  But hell this is gift enough!

It's been over a year since I had surgery and I wanted to reflect I guess!
I've lost about 97lbs and have settled between 175 and 177lbs depending on the day etc.  Two weeks ago I was frantic being so close to losing 100lbs but yet seeming so far out of reach.  I've been at this weight since Oct. 29th!  Arrrrrrgh!  But I have decided that I can't live in a perpetual state of panic over where my body has decided to 'rest'.  This isn't it for me, I know that... I am going to respect where my body is right now but keep on with all I need to do to be a success.
This includes:
Protein first, veggies/fruit after
Water, water, water!!! (this is my new year's resolution as I've been sadly lacking at this!)
Supplements
Exercise!  Keeping up my program and upping that intensity!
Positive imagery- instead of 'seeing' that heavy girl start trying to see the new me
No more comparisons!  My habit of feeling that everyone has lost more than me is sabotaging my success.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some but these are the basics. 
I have wow moments daily.  I have boundless energy most of the time.  I am healthier by far.  Second to getting sober 9 years ago, this is the absolute best thing that I've done.  I have a tough year ahead of me with my husband's new position and possibly being transferred, relatives staying with us for awhile, being alone with the kids alot and getting ready for plastics in the summer. 

But.... These are all bumps in the road in comparison to where I was when I was 97lbs heavier, with my blood pressure high, diabetes out of control, cholesterol soaring and barely the ability to walk up the stairs without dying!  Not to mention the sleep apnea and depression that came with not fitting anything.  No more binge eating either! 

Needless to say I am grateful.  And I am especially grateful for all the support I have gotten from these boards.  My husband and children have been instrumental in keeping me 'up' and going.  All in all I'm a lucky girl.  
Happy New Year!

Happy Re-Birthday to me!  I am officially one year out today.  I've lost 97lbs to date, from 273lbs to 176lbs!  I've gone from a size 26/28 to a 12 on the bottom and a 14 on top.  I can run, climb stairs, fit anywhere I want to and not worry that people are laughing at me.  I feel great!  
I had my one year check up yesterday and was a little discouraged by what the physician assistant had to say about me not losing much more weight.  She said it would be VERY difficult if not impossible to get to my personal goal of 150lbs.  That along with several other factors made me a bit blue.  My current stall, body image issues, a little feeling of distance/strife between me and my husband and the holidays have made for a dangerous mix emotionally.  I am fighting to not let that horrible black cloud take hold- staying upbeat and trying to keep a smile on my face.  I think it's growing pains and god knows I have it so much better than many people!  
After posting on the board here and getting wonderful feedback and advice about my doctor visit yesterday, I'm determined to keep on losing and not just be a 'statistic'.  I'm going to keep on with what I'm doing, incorporate weights to my workout routine, up my water intake and see where it goes.  One day at a time...
This was the best decision I ever made in my life.  It has given me a life again and I'd never change a thing!  I am grateful that I am one of the lucky ones that was able to get this surgery.   
Happy Holidays!

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever make the century mark.  I'm feeling discouraged today!  I see so many others making it and here I am at nearly 11 mos. and still not there.  
I'm grateful for the progress I've made, don't get me wrong.. But I guess I'm feeling 'less than' everyone else right now.  And worried that I'll be one that doesn't make goal...

I've been hovering between 176.5lbs and 177lbs. for the last few days.  I had a nice loss this month of about 5.5lbs.  I'm happy.  I find that now I can eat 3-4 ounces of meat/fish/chicken and a tiny bit of veggies at a meal.  I try to be very conscious of my pouch and it's cues to me so I don't get sick.  It is a rarity now that I do throw up.  Only if it's something new that doesn't agree with me or if I'm not paying close attention to my chewing etc.  
It is chilly and windy out today and we're heading to Boston with anthony as he is teaching up there this week.  We'll stay a couple days but come home in time for trick or treating.  The girls are going to be some princess crap as usual! And alex will be a little devil.  They will be too cute.
I will go as a slightly deranged, deviant WLS patient who is disgruntled over the fact that she cannot pilfer her children's candy anymore!

Today I am at 177lbs even! w00t!  I was playing with the same few pounds for over a month and then all of a sudden things started moving again.  
I love that I am getting smaller- I enjoy the feel of my body when I move now.  I don't feel like a cumbersome blob anymore.  I still see alot of the 'old' me in the mirror though I know it's not there anymore.  I do think once I get my TT and BR done I'll be able to really see the changes.  
We weathered the family coming in for Anthony's graduation and it went very well actually.  It was nice to have his whole family under one roof for once and I got to do alot of shopping with my mother-in-law.  
Halloween is coming and it will be strange not to take the kids trick-or-treating for 'me'.  As in getting excited over all the candy I get to have of theirs!  It will be a new experience not spending the evenings pilfering their buckets!  Maybe I'll grab a latte as a treat to take along as I walk the neighborhoods with them, start something new.
After they left anthony and I got a sitter and did some alone time- adult stuff.  I find that if I don't get out and away from my kids, though I love them, I get very cranky.  I do everything for my kids but they do not define me, I see so many women who lose their identities in their kids.  They don't exist as women anymore- they talk like their kids, dress like them and lose themselves.  It's so sad to me.  I'm a better mother to them if I have my own life and existence.  
After the family left all of us got sick as dogs.  Anthony came down with pneumonia- yikes.  We're on the mend and I actually made it back to the gym for the first time since getting sick today.  Woohoo!