Jillybean25

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Well, it was one year ago today that I had my band removed.  I was so scared because I'd heard so many horror stories about people either having their band removed or else having it completely unfilled and then gaining weight back like crazy.  I did not have a choice in the matter so out it came.  I can now say that 1 year later I am still down and actually have lost 25 MORE lbs since having it removed!  The lifestyle changes I made with the band set me up with a great model to help me succeed even after it was gone.

 I am only about 5 lbs above my wedding weight and SO excited about that.   My goal is to lose about 20ish more lbs total.  I've lost a total of 149.8 lbs as of today!!!  

Thrilled with my life, my body and how I feel in general....no complaints!!

Well they found out what it was that was causing my abdominal pain.  Turns out I had developed an abdominal abscess on my liver that had encased itself and had been festering for a while.  I was treated with antibiotics for a sinus infection and that was all it needed to take off.  The abscess spread through my whole abdomen and then my body.  I went into the doctor  because of the pain and not being able to keep anything down. (I did not know at that point what the problem was)  I was in surgery within hours. I was told that I would not have lived if I had waited another day or 2 to come in. 

Because the infection (puss :-( ) was all through my abdomen it was also all around my band.  Since the band is synthetic material they can not get the bacteria off of it so it had to come out while they were cleaning all the infection out.  I am still at a loss and feel very strange eating without the band.  I did not have restriction before so things do not feel differently that way but I can definitely eat bigger bites and faster.  I have lost  close to 140 lbs and only have 35ish more lbs to lose.  Before the band I lost weight and kept it off (until kids) so I am going to continue my band type diet and pray that I have the self control to lose the rest of my weight.  

My band diet truly was a lifestyle change and it is one that I have become used to.  I feel I can eat this way for the rest of my life.  I want to keep track of my weight still on here to see myself reach my goal.  So if  you don't mind, 'cross your fingers' and 'say a prayer' for me as I begin yet another segment of this journey we call 'weight loss'. 

I have now lost 131 lbs!  I feel great and love the new me.  I still have a ways to go but am not stressing about it.  After Feb. I got stuck on a platue that I couldn't seem to break.  My body seemed to want a break from the weightloss.   I tried many different things and nothing really seemed to work.  

I don't have restriction to speak of and was considering going in for another fill.  I don't think I have ever really reached restriction.  There have been a few times right after a fill that I have felt restriction for a week or 2 and then it is gone.  The thing is I was losing weight without it and I like being able to each anything (within reason of course) but not being limited when I'm in public.  I do have some things that the band helps with for sure...chewing  and eating slower so I don't get stuck being the main thing.

I'm about 20 lbs away from my wedding weight and my hubby told me that I look great and even if I stayed the weight I was now he would be thrilled with how I looked.  That was sweet of course but I want to lose more :-)

Anyway, long story short, in July I changed some things in my activity level and reduced some more of my calorie intake.  I have also put myself back on a more 'band like' diet and walla...I have started losing again.  So here I go on the last leg of my journey to get down to my goal weight!  I'm not sure (neither is my dr) that I can get to my goal weight with my body type and my excess skin but I think I can get close and I'm gonna try! :D

I have lost 100 lbs!!!  Hard to believe but oh so true :)    I am now officially no longer morbidly obese!  Ok, so I'm still obese but funny how it sounds so much better than "morbidly" obese :L 

My restriction seems to come and go.  I think I must be right on the brink. Some days I have no restriction at all and some days it is perfect.  I really struggled in the month of October but seem to be back on track now.  Those chocolates were gonna be the death of me.  They found their way to the garbage can when the kids were sleeping :D 

I really wanted to reach the 100 lb mark before Thanksgiving when I'll see my family.  I wasn't sure if I would make it because I have been stuck on a plateau for a while but all of the sudden in typical fashion for me...bam...I dropped 5 lbs.  I've waited a few days to see if it would bounce back up and it hasn't so I'm claiming the weightloss! 

It has taken me about a year to lose this 100lbs so I feel like I'm doing good.  I'm loving life and am SOOOO glad that I went with the band. 

Ok, I can officially say I have reached restriction...FINALLY!  95ish lbs in and I finally get it.  I have followed my doctor's diet plan closely and as a result was able to lose without it but I am very much looking forward to this next stage.  Before restriction the band did force me to take smaller bites and chew well because food would still get stuck.  This did a lot in helping me.  I am always in a hurry and I would eat so fast before, that I ate much more than I needed.  Eating slower makes all the difference.    I have heard about restriction and what it was like but now that I have it, WOW!  It's gonna take some getting used to.  I can eat but if I thought I had to slow down and chew well before, it didn't hold a candle.  For the first time I actually got full after 1-1.5 cups of food.  For the first time had to chew my food to total mush before swallowing.  And remember in the class when they told you that  you would have to drink small sips at a time and swallow before taking more?  Not me, I've been able to chug-a-lug with the best of them.  Well last night I picked up my water and forgot about the restriction.  I chugged for all I was worth just like before....OOPS!  Pain and agony!  And then it finally all came back up in a fast and ferocious way. It was a different feeling than being stuck.  I would imagine it is what it would feel like to overfill your pouch and have it be VERY stretched.  I'm gonna plan to NOT do that again!

I have slightly mixed feelings overall. I have enjoyed the liberty of being able to eat what I want (within reason and what's on my diet)in a pinch or when I am out with people.  I have not had to worry to much about eating super slow or not eating salad since I could eat anything.  I would use salad as a filler when I was out with people so it would look like I was eating with the rest of them.   Now it is gonna take me the whole time to eat whatever my main course is.  All in all this is good, but my evil step-sister in my head was thinking it would be nice to have the liberty to eat whatever at Thanksgiving or Christmas.    That being said...I'm thinking it is a VERY good thing that I got restriction before to keep me in line. 

I had set myself up with the idea that I would probably not lose as much over the holidays.  (that mentality is not a path I want to get started down) Well now I have changed my mind on that and am thinking that I'm gonna lose the same as before.  Don't get me wrong.  As is obvious by the weight I've lost already, I have been 'being good' and making the right choices about what I eat, but there was the occasional time I took advantage of the fact that I didn't have restriction. 

I would say, if I was to rate how much I am going to miss not having restriction, I would give it a 25%.  The pros WAY out weigh the cons.   This last month was much more difficult for me to be good.  I cheated several times and found it much more difficult to turn down those treats that came past me. (and I didn't lose as much this month)  Coming into the holidays I was losing my determination to behave so I could lose the weight.  The food was too tempting.  I found it much harder to stop eating when I had plenty of room to eat more and it tasted so good.  Now I am back on track.  That full feeling and being forced to eat slowly is playing in my favor and I am no longer struggling with walking away. 

Ok, so I know this was VERY long.  I get to rambling on sometimes on here since I don't have anyone besides my DH to talk about it with.  I really need to find a local support group that has meetings when I can go.  I haven't had great success with that yet. 

I feel a little like I did in the very beginning right after being banded.  I'm nervous about going out to eat and uncertain of what to eat.  I know I can eat what I want within reason but I find myself being more choosy. For the first time eating steak and things that don't chew easily do not appeal as options. 

I think this came at the perfect time.  I just passed my half way point and I was needing something to give me that extra punch to go the rest of the way!  And I am really excited that the holidays are not going to be as hard to resist as I had thought before.

Well I've officially reached my half way mark!  I've lost 90 lbs and have 90 to go!  I know I keep saying it but I can't believe it.  My hubby and I went through old pics last night and looked at the old me!  It was really hard to believe.  I also had the first time this week when I had to show my license and they did a double take because it doesn't look like me anymore.   

Onward and Forward! I'll be happy when the election is over.  I'm a stress eater and it is not helping my cause  

I skipped my fill last month because I couldn't afford it and boy can I tell a difference.  I can't wait until my next one in 2 weeks.  I NEED It!

So here's to me heading down the other side of my mountain!!

Again I am just amazed at the difference in me.  Time has flown by and the weight has gone with it.  I won't say it hasn't had it's challenges but the hard work was worth it!  I am now officially under 100 lbs to lose!!!  I never thought that day would come.  100 seems like such a small amount compared to what I had to lose when I started and now I only have to lose 95.

My goal is to lose 15 more by Thanksgiving.  That is when I will see all my family.  If I can lose 15lbs I will have lost 100 even and would love it if I could shock their socks off!

I saw my in-laws in July after having lost 65ish lbs and they didn't say a word.  I did notice that my FIL watched everything I ate.  I was so discouraged because he used to always say really rude comments to me about my weight and I was so excited for them to see the weight I had lost.  When they didn't say a word I figured it just must not show much. 

Well this time I'm gonna see my side of the family and they are very supportive of my weightloss so I can't wait for them to see me.  I've had a lot of major stress in my life the last month and I am a stress eater.  It has been a lot harder not to splurge, snack or overeat.  I have not quite reached restriction.  I do notice some difference but it is not there yet.  I am working hard not to undo the work I have done so far and I am hoping with a goal to work towards it will help me stay inspired to fight the fight.

5 more lbs and I will be at my half way mark...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

Ok so I know I said I was not going to count on the weight I lost during my infection until I knew it was going to stay off.  I still may gain some of it back but I have been eating mushies, my protein drinks and full 64 oz of water  for several days now.  When I saw the dr. yesterday the reason he said the weight may stay off is that i had been back on full liquids for like 3 days and just strarted mushies and had still lost another pound instead of gaining any back.  Now I am reg. eating mushies and got on the scale and I was down another couple of lbs.  I am obviously not dehydrated anymore and it is starting to look more and more like the weight I lost is gonna stay off!!  the dr. said if I followed the bandster rules (even though I have nothing in my band) and watched closely I could continue to lose. 

So...that all being said...I got on the scale today and as of today I am down 49 lbs!!!  These pounds just 'flew by'!!!   My clothes are just hanging on me and (other than the infection and recovery I am dealing with) I feel WONDERFUL.  I am doing things I haven't done in years.  I'm trying to remember the last time I was this weight.  I think it was between baby number 2 and 3.  Even still being weak from sickness I get up and do things that would have worn me out for the whole day before. 

On another note..it is very cool so see that I only have 131lbs to lose.  Now that may seem silly to some but that is just a little over 100.  I have always been overwhelmed by the fact that I have almost 200 lbs to lose.  I look at a number like 131 and it feels attainable.

So I found out today that I DO NOT have to have my band out!!!!!!!  'Someone' UPSTAIRS is watching over me! :-)  

I had no fever today for the first time in 7 days, my pain level is starting to decrease,  I can now drink normally and eat mushies again and all my cultures from my band came back neg!!  The infection never reached my band so the doctor says as long as I continue to heal and things get better my band can stay.  I can't have a fill again until at least 2 weeks after everything is back to normal.  I can live with that.  I had these visions of no band and forever having to deal with weightloss and maintaining on my own.    I have 2 weeks left of a strong antibiotic and have to see the dr. frequently to make sure things are healing.  The dr. actually smiled today and looked relieved so I feel like I have a new lease on life. 

I lost at least 10 pounds throughout this ordeal.  I have been eating pretty normally for the last 3 days and have not gained ANY back.  My dr. says there is a chance that if the weightloss was not from dehydration it may stay off!!!  I would LOVE that.  We'll see.  I haven't added it to my tracker yet because I don't want to do that and then have it go back up.  I'm gonna wait and see....

Well it has been a month with my band and best I can tell I lost 14lbs the first month. (for a total of 38lbs) I still don't have restriction of course but don't find it too hard to 'diet' after spending that kind of money.  It was never the beginnings of my diets that were my problem. It was always the long term and maintenance.

So I had my first fill this week and it didn't give me restriction but if I eat too fast or take to big of a bite I find out quickly it is there!  OUCH!  Then this week I had something EXTREMELY stressful happen.  I won't bore you with the details but MAN OH MAN!  I think I experience what restriction must feel like.  In fact I couldn't even hardly drink water the first day.  I couldn't swallow anything other than the water for sure.   The next several days if i was careful to eat small amounts and chew them well I did ok but I had to be REALLY careful.  I mostly had liquids at first.   Anyway, things are now returning to 'normal' and I can eat a little more.  My goal is obviously to lose weight so I am still being careful with portions and calories even though I can eat more than last week.

I think I now weight less then I have since before my last baby was born!! I feel so good and am loving things so far.   My only real glitch...I had planned on not telling anyone about my surgery.  My hubby knew of course and I told 1 sister and 1 friend.  (I have some family and friends that have strong opinions about this kind of thing and have no problem sharing their views)   I regretted telling my friend from the minute I told her.  She didn't react well and acted like I was cheating.  She acted very annoyed at me about it and long story short, it was not long before the news was out.  ARG!  I had to call all my family and let them know so they didn't hear it through the grapevine.   They were all much more supportive then I expected so I am thankful for that.  I still hate dealing with those that disapprove or feel the need to voice their opinions but I just try not to think about it until the time I have to deal with it.  (I am very non-confrontational...can you say "stress me out!")  So instead I think of the good things.....38 lbs lost!!!!!