My one year Surgiversary is TODAY!!!!

Sep 19, 2009

So, today is my one year surgiversary! I cant believe that one year ago today I walked thru the door at John Hopkins, a 430 pound, insecure, unhealthy, unhappy woman. And today, exactly one year later, I have lost 205 pounds. My confidence has grown, my health has improved beyond belief and I'm finally figuring out who I really am. I cant lie and say it has been smooth sailing all year. There has been some real hurdles along the way. There were times, in the beginning, where I felt so alone, and isolated and overwhelmed. I was an emotional eater, and used food to boost my mood whenever I was happy, sad, depressed, stressed etc. Since I was a child food was my most intimate best friend. Always there when I needed to, quite literally, reach out. Post op I could no longer eat whenever I wanted, or WHATever I wanted. I had never realized just how addicted to sugar I was, nor how out of control my food binges were. All of a sudden I had to deal with all my problems head-on, instead of grabbing a spoon, a gallon of ice cream, and sitting in front of the TV and zoning out. I think I cried more in the first few weeks post op then I had in my entire life. Luckily I had OH and such a wonderful support team. There was always someone who knew exactly how I was feeling, or had an answer to my questions, no matter how silly or how embarrassing they were. One thing I can honestly say about my RNY, is that even with all my hurdles, I have never once regret ed my decision to go under the knife. This surgery gave me the opportunity to change my lifestyle, new tools to use in order to regain control of my health and a new sense of self. I LOVE MY RNY! In the next year I will start looking into plastics, and hopefully hitting my weight loss goal. My surgeon and nutritionist told me 165, but I personally had thought 185 would be fine for me. But now I'm at 225, and 165 isn't looking so untouchable anymore. That is 60 pounds away. I do know I have probably a good 15 to 20 pounds of skin Id like to have removed, especially my arms. My arms are where I am the most insecure. I cant wait to be able to wear a sleeveless shirt in public! I'm sure I will be posting when this goal happens! :) So this year will be a year of changes as well, I like to think that this is the 'finishing touches' stage to my weight loss journey. After that I will be in the 'maintaining' stage. And from what I understand, that can be the most difficult stage of all.Please wish me luck in this next stage of my adventure! And if there are any newbies reading this, please feel free to ask me any questions. If it hadn't been for people who had gone thru this ahead of me, I may not be where I am today. I hope I can return the favor!
Jen

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