Jocelyn226

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I havent done everything I was supposed too - I think that I thought this was going to be super easy and I wouldnt have to work at it. I WAS WRONG!!! I have finally noticed that it is all me. I had to learn when to say when with food - I had to teach myself to only eat if hungry. It has been hard. But I am doing it.

 

I have lost 64 pounds. I am so proud of myself, I have worked at this. I have learned a lot about myself and I am super motivated right now! I can feel my collar bone! That to me was probably the most amazing thing. I can feel my collar bone. lol

 

I have started the gym recently and I am going to do this!!!

Well today was my first follow up. I have lost a total of 15 pounds - I am okay with that - I would have liked it to be 150 pounds but 15 will do for now!!! That is 15 pounds, not 15 ounces, not 15 pounds gained - 15!! I am very happy about that.

So far, I love my band - No issues, however, no fill either - I hope it stays this way.

So, I have been feeling really good.  am able to take full liquids and mushiy stuff with no problem, I tend to feel a tightness that reminds me to slow down and chew. I have learned that I need to eat on a schedule so that I am never really hungry to where I want to gorge on food!

I have learned a lot about myself in a week, pretty amazing... Alot I already knew but I just reiteratted to myself - I have one rule that I live by -"Never settle for anything less than what I want" I will never allow people to treat me bad and then put up with it and act like I dont care that they are doing this.

We are having our baby shower this weekend and I invited a "friend" that I had for years now... She has NEVER showed up to any of our birthday parties, she has always made an excuse, a dumb excuse too... She even told me about my surprise party one time and laughed and said "oops" like it was no big deal, really? My partner tried so hard to pull this off for me and she just ruined it and said "oops".

We went out one night to a bar, which is the only place she would ever meet us at. I drove and her daughter stayed at home with my kids. I drove, I used my gas and drove us all around. Her daughter was my normal babysitter but this night she stayed at my house with my kids and her mother went out with us.  The mother wanted me to pay her daughter for babysitting. I felt like I didn't have to since we went out together - Anyway, i have been sending her emails, calling and asking her to come to the baby shower and today she responds with "I cant I am helping my mom that day".

I have stopped this so called friendship. I am done and I will no longer keep friends that do not treat me the way I treat them. Good riddens!

SORRY HAD TO VENT!

Jocelyn

So today I feel okay, I am very tired and I still get those annoying gas bubbles under my ribs! I want to do this right, but what do I do when I am really hungry?

Ugh... Sooo Tired!

So today is 06/09/2011 - I had my surgery the morning of 06/06/2011 - All went well.

I have been able to drink and have had no problems with that type of stuff.. I did try to cheat and I had scrambled eggs.. WOW!! I didn't think that there would be any problem because I didn't feel restricted, but let me tell you, I could feel the pain as the egg slipped down from my throat to my stomach - The rest went to the dogs!

I am looking forward to eating semi regular foods - like eggs and stuff... I am over the liquid diet!

I can tell you that the pain has been minimal, I get uncomfortable after a while, but mostly from the gas bubbles that are under my ribs and that are in my shoulder.

The port site is REALLY REALLY Bruised, but all in all I am good to go!

I cant wait to start working out and seeing the difference!!!

Ugh, I woke up this morning and I probably could have slept another 2-3 hours... I am in the insurance business and today is the start of hurricane season down here in the beautiful FL! And of course we are going to get slammed with business (which is a good thing) yet the companies are closing there doors to us and the surrounding counties because of the hurricane season and oh yeah, those pesky sinkholes!

So on the subject of weightloss, I dont feel like I have lost anything on Optifast. Is that normal? I dont have a scale so I cant weigh myself, I just dont feel it.. I do however, feel less bloated.

I looked at my beautiful pregnant partner, Stephanie, last night and she is soooooo pregnant! I couldn't believe it, she popped out over night.. She has had the penguin walk for the past month, but now at 33 weeks she is looking so pregnant and so beautiful!


Jocelyn

THIS WEEKEND SUCKED!!! I mean really really SUCKED!!! Ugh, is it over yet, I am already tired of broth! 

I wont go near anyone while they are eating actual food, like pizza.. In fear that I may attack!  My dogs are looking tasty! lol

On 06/02 - I go for my pre op stuff, they havent told me what that entails, I was told that it was bloodwork and then today they told me that it may take 1 1/2 - 2 hours?? Why does bloodwork take that long? What are they really doing?

Almost there - 8 days down, 7 to go!

I CAN DO THIS!

Soooo..... Today, was much easier!  HOWEVER, I want a freaking cheeseburger!!!!! AHHH!H!!! When will these cravings stop! I have been looking at before and after pics and that is what is helping me through! Knowing what my goal is and why I am not going to stop by Biff Burger (the best burgers in St. Pete) and get a freaking burger!

Jocelyn

OKay, so last night I did not cheat!! WOO HOO!! I actually felt satisfied... I have broken the opti fast down so that I am never actually hungry.

I can tell you that my cravings have gotten better, I still think about the taste of stuff and even though I am only on day four, I swear that I can smell every piece of food that is around me. I never thought that I had this type of a problem, I am beginning to realize that my life, was food. I didn't use it as a crutch when I was sad or angry... I used it all the time.. I am a food addict.

"Hello my name is Jocelyn and I am a foodaholic" WHOA!!! WTH! I never thought of it that way. I didn't realize that the only thing that I ever thought about was food... Well not ever, but mostly!

Kind of crazy to have this realization, now what do I do with it?

Day 4 - Strawberry optifast is not for me, however, I bought two cases of it so (ugh)  I like the Vanilla and I only bought one case!  I suck! :)

Okay, So yesterday was not too bad, I have to admit that last night I was so hungry so I made a poached egg and savored it.

Today, so far okay.. I am still thinking about that egg. Ugh... I am not as peppy as I was yesterday.. Very tired.