Jodi5634
Hello! Hello! Hello!
Months of reading everyone's different stories and the journeys they have been thru i finally decided to be brave enough to tell mine. Plus, all of these stories to me are like testimonies and you never know who you may influence,being that there are so many millions of people worldwide that are overweight and obesed,and we all have different stories and life experiences but, we can seem to relate to one another.
So here it is........................."My Story".........................................
When i was born my mother didn't know i was there,she didn't know she was pregnant with twins. My twin sister came first we were 4 min. apart making me the youngest. She weighed more than me, and we were fraternal. To me when we were younger we looked more alike than we do now. I'm light and she's dark, and of course being the darker she would always say she was the prettiest. She called me names(everything she could think of that was a fat joke) and we fought all the time. Now that we are older we laugh about all of this and she surely regrets the things she said to me. After being small(like a size 3-5) all her childhood now after having 3 kids she's not so small anymore. There's so much i could talk about growing up but i think you get the idea of what my childhood was like.
At the age of 16, although i was considered the shy and quiet one, i became pregnant. It took my family and i a while to except this, since i was the "good girl". Although i had been on birthcontrol since i was 13 i had what i thought was the love of my life. We had been dating for awhile and he would come pick me up every weekend. I wasn't taking my pills regularly and there i was ~pregnant~ so to all teenagers that are sexually active and on birthcontrol do take your pills daily not skipping a one .
My pregnancy is when most of my problems begin, i developed high blood pressure, and begin swelling which i thought was just normal. I had a b-day on May 18,1992, i was 17. I started accepting the fact that i would be a mother and starting planning for the future. My boyfriend was there for me . I begin to gain so much weight . On July14 i think it was i had a scheduled doctors appointment, my boyfriends mother took me because my mom had to work. During this visit i felt fine i just was really swollen my feet looked like what i would call elephant feet. I couldn't wear anything but a house slipper. The doctor asked how i was feeling, i knew by the look on his face that something was wrong he said that my bp was extremely high and that he was concerned about how much weight i had gained in so little time and the how i was so swollen. He then made me lay there and talked to my boyfriend's mother about what he suspected was going on. He told us that I was gonna have to be sent to a better facility that could take care of me and the baby because i was now considered a high risk patient of course now i'm really scared only causing my bp to be even higher. While my boyfriends mom contacted my family, the doctor did his best to get me calm but all i could think about was my baby being okay. By the time my mom made it they had me in an ambulance ready to go, so my mom rode in the ambulance with me(that was some kind of experience). I always believed in the power of prayer so that's what i did all the way. My boyfriend and other family members came to check on me. I was diagnosed with toxemia. The doctor explained to my mother the risk if i didn't go ahead and deliver, how i could loose my life and the baby, and the posssibility of the baby not surviving after deliver. My mom and my boyfriend told them to do whatever to keep me alive. I didn't agree because i wanted my child i wanted to try and hold out from delivery a little while longer. But with me being a minor my mom had to make the decision for me. I was put in labor and forced to deliver i experienced all the effect of having a baby(contractions, actual delivery) but once i didn't hear anything i knew my baby was dead. Which i knew being only 5 1/2 months what the chances were but i really wanted my baby. This was really emotional for me,i begin to question God "why me?" I didn't understand then but i do now that God doesn't make any mistakes He knew what was best for me. I was able to hold my little baby girl(only 1lb. 2oz.) after they dressed her, she was so tiny. I wasn't able to attend the graveside service because my bp was still elevated and i had to stay in the hospital a bit longer. It took me some time to get over this but i made(thanks to GOD!). That day was July 16,1992 a day i shall always remember. That next yr i graduated May 21, 1993, on this day my twin was at the hospital giving birth to her first child i accepted her diploma for her.
I later started working. Through the years my weight would go up and down. I would loose only to gain more and then some...lol...
At one point in my life my self esteem was so low. Being in abusive relationships, allowing for men to run life, when now i realize that God is the only one who can judge. To this day i'm the biggest i've ever been. I hear so many people say that they think they're so ugly and fat but me ~ i'm not above myself or anything like that but whenever i look in the mirror(even from top to bottom) i see nothing bu beauty. Your beauty comes from within. I feel that i look just as good as Beyonce,Halley Berry,Janet Jackson,ect..... well~you know what i mean.I see through every fat roll, stretch mark, dimples, cellulite, and anything else i may have..lol..
I 've been married twice which my first husband never had a problem with my weight, he just wanted to have his cake and eat it too.And i've never believed in sharing nothing that i knew was mine(not my man anyway). My husband that i have now we have been marrried March will be 6 yrs. We've had our up & downs but who hasn't. We're blessed with a son(Emmanuel-which is God with Us) i gave him this name becuse when i was 5 1/2 months just the same as my pregnancy before when i was younger i had problems and was in the hospital and over and over as i prayed i heard a voice saying "God is with you, God is with you", so i knew that this was God telling me that everything would be find that he was with me and my child and that's why i knew he would my little EMMANUEL. My family is so blesssed! My son is so intelligent for his age 5. He's speaks as a young man would. He's also very hyperactive and i can hardly keep up wiht him at times. I'm not able to do things with him the way i would like to because i never have any energy,my back hurts all the time,and i'm just always tires.
Back in 2003, i considered having wls even contacted Dr.John Price of Monroe,La. the receptionist sent me all the papers i needed and i even made an appointment. But i didn't follow through with it because of all the negative things people were saying about the risks and complications asssociated with the surgery even death. So that was that~I knew that it wasn't fpr me. So after that i tried numerous wieght loss techniques like exercise(even joined a gym),many diets, medications,etc.. but i would loose and gain. Then i decided that i would love to have a permanent weight loss...
So that's pretty much where i stand now. I have been cosidering wls again,doing lots of research on different sites, listening to different people tell their story. My job doesn't require a whole lot of walking or moving around-just sitting of standing in one spot basically all the time with repetitive moving of my hands. This caused me to have carpel tunnel surgery in 05' i recently learned that being overweight also plays a role in cts. I've been on this job since Sept.of 97' to say that i don't have a college educ. i'm satisfied with my job. I've had problems with swelling for months now and not really able to get a nice shoe on, along with my other medical problems which include: hbp,hyperlipidemia, chronic back pain,sleep apnea,and i believe i'm starting to have arthritis in my knees because they bother me sometime. Some sundays Iwon't attend church because of the swelling in my feet is so painful and i can't hardly walk or get any shoes on. When i do go i wear slippers and go on because i know that God has been to good to me for me not to give Him the praise and the glory.
So after discussing my decision about wanting to have surgery with my husband who thinks i don't need to do it(but i've convinced him),my family,and my pcp(Dr.Holly Kidd)i told them how i felt and to have surgery was what i wanted to do before my health gets any worst. My pcp wasn't thrilled of my decision at first but she knows that i'v been really trying and she saw that i was serious and had made my mind up.She was very co-operative with me and went ahead and gave me a referral after i called her and told her who i chose.
So i joined this site on Dec.20,2006, and it has really been helpful for me. I've had my first visit on Feb.15,2007 with Dr. Kenneth Jones everything went well. They told me that i shouldn't have a problem with my insurance(BlueCross/BlueShield Federal) and that they'll contact me. Of course with me being so anxious and ready to get it over with after a wk. i called with the holiday(President's Day) it kinda delayed the process So now i find myself calling the insurance company and the doctors office every other day. The ins. co. says it's in a review stage and i should here something shortly.
I',m 5'9, 382 lbs. bmi of 56.4 and miserable I will post pictures when i figure out how
So here it is this is my story,this is my life,this is my new beginning, this is my journey!!! So wish me well and i'll keep you up dated every now and then MAY GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
