johannahunny
Long Time, No Blog!
Oct 23, 2009
Aww heck. It's been a while since I last put my feelings to cyberspace. I have lots to catch you up on :-)
I had a plastics consult at the end of July and I just heard back a few weeks ago. Stupid BCBS. I swear. Does it really take that long to let a girl know whether or not you're going to pay for her tummy tuck? Anyway, they approved me but the Doctor and Anesthesiologist want me to lose another 30 lbs!
They say the less you weigh, the safer it is to go under. Also, Dr V. wants as much skin as possible to work with. Sigh. Look, I understand both their reasoning's, but 30 lbs? I mean, that's alot when you have already lost over a 100. So, I hit the gym 5 times a week (kickboxing 3 of those days) and have cut my calories down to 1,000 - 1,200 per day. I have to admit, when you have had RNY and start a "diet", it really is much easier to drop the pounds. I'll also admit that in the last year, I haven't been measuring my food as diligently as I should and I have been slacking on the exercise the last 5 months. My weight stabilized so I figured I was done losing. Not so. I just needed to kick it back into gear and re-commit to my WLS lifestyle. My main goal after surgery was to be able to live life as a normal person, not having to count calories. I soon realized that isn't how things work for a RNY patient. But, I forgot or got caught up in my new life and let most of the maintenance slack. I guess I know realize that I cant ever do that. It's a lifetime commitment to keeping the body I have now and working to make it the best it can be. Now more than ever, I am taking this very seriously. I figure two months of intensive work will get me close enough to my goal that they will let me schedule the surgery. I hope anyway. If not, I'll keep plugging away until I get the OK and come out the other side with a new silhouette I'm much happier with. Win, win.On a more interesting note, I have been dating a lot. Its very weird. When I was heavier, dating was simple. Either a guy liked you for your weight or he didn't. These days it not that cut and dry. Honestly, its like I'm 15 again and starting with a new experience. I have different doubts..."Why does he like me?" But, I also have much more confidence, so I'm finding myself on the other end of it - being liked more than I like him. That's been weird too. It's hard to tell a guy your not interested when he's so nice and sweet and wants nothing more than to be with you. OK, so don't judge me - my bet is some of you single chicks have felt this way too - but sometimes I feel like I want to play the field because my "stock" has gone up and I want the best guy for me. I don't have to take whatever is out there anymore because there are so many more options. Is it shallow? No. Its my choice and my right. I spent a long time taking what I could get and now, I don't have to. As long as I am kind and sincere, I have no guilt about it. Well, not much anyway. If I do have guilt, its only because I remember what it was like to be horribly rejected by someone I really liked. So, like I said, as long as I date with kindness, I'll be OK in the end. I'll find someone perfect for me, of that I have very few doubts. I just need to give myself some time, right? In the meantime, I plan to work on me. My head, my body and my soul. Now after all that work, how can I not attract someone I was meant to find obscene happiness with?
Lets see...hate my job. But, since the Michigan economy is just booming, I'm stuck. Oh well. This too will soon work itself out. Maybe not soon, but eventually.
So, wish me luck on this latest journey. As soon as I can, I'll post pics of me after the TT! Maybe by the first of the year. Then, I can FINALLY post them to the before and after gallery. Man, I want to be one of those chicks newbies look at and get inspired by!
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About Me
Lansing, MI
Location
40.4
BMI
Surgery
01/14/2008
Surgery Date
Nov 27, 2007
Member Since
