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God Bless Hi, thanks for stopping by.

My name is Brian P. I am 52 yrs old and married with 2 grown children. My wife and I reside in central New York. My wife's name is Irene, and we have been together for over 30 yrs. She is a strong supportive wife who has stuck with me thru thick and thin. We are like all couples committed to their relationships, blessed by God to still be together after all these years.

My daughter , Kelly Ann is 29 and is alot like her Dad when it comes to her outgoing attitude and her crazier side. My son Adam is 25 , and is a sailor in the US Navy, stationed currently in the state of Washington. They along with my wife have been tremendously supportive and highly instremental in each their own way in my decision for this life changing choice to move ahead with Bariatric surgery. I love each one of them very dearly and am very thankful for each one for what they have contributed and brought to the plate ... (ha ha ), so to speak. Thanks guys.

Well, it has been quite a process to get the approval for the wls. It required me to get signed off on several sleep studies where I found out I have sleep apnea. I never even knew what it was for 52 yrs of my life, guess I was sleeping , but not getting proper rest. Said I was stopping breathing 40-60 times per hour.
Also, had to do pulmonary tests at the hospital to check my breathing. There was some counseling with nutrition and wellness folks. Not to mention there was also a meeting with the physchiatrist, who would say if I was emotionally ready for this type of surgery. Then there was the pre-op physical with my primary care Dr.
Hey I almost forgot the heart Dr. and the stress test involved with that, walk like a maniac on the treadmill, till they tell you to lie down and get pictures of the heart. Well, lo and behold, God is good and faithful. I passed everything. The green light was given for surgery and on 7/20/07, I had gastric bypass surgery. Rue-n-y that is.

Surgery day was ok, I was the first one sched in the am, had to be at the hospital at 5:45am. surgery scheduled for 7:45. I never had surgery in my life, not even a broken bone, but I have had my shares of bad falls, auto accidents and the like. Guess God loves me to protect me all these years. The emotional pain is another story altogether.

The days prior to surgery where I had to be on a liquid diet were hell. I'm not going to sugercoat it, I was hungry. I got miserable, like a bear without a picnic basket. I was freaking out because I could not eat. The popsicles and the broths just were not cutting it!! It sucks. But my wife has a way with words and knows how to get me to stop whining. "Be a man, and suck it up". That shut me up in a heartbeat as we walked fr the parking lot to the hospital. I believe it had finally hit me, dude, your getting cut in a short while and the demon of gluttony was in a rage and internally it was very upset, because the years of indiscrimanately stuffing itself at will (self) was about to change forever. There was a spiritual battle for the mind going on , and one that the demon would lose. case closed. It was crunch time, no looking back.

Flash ahead , surgery over. I woke up. Good enough. Must interject here...if your afraid, it's ok. I read and accepted, if I wake up with my family there, I win, if I wake up with my Heavenly Father, I win...either way I win. Git-r-done. Action cures fear. Don't drive yourself crazy. What will be , will be.

Some people may treat you differently after you have this surgery. Don't sweat it, it's their own issues they have to deal with. You do what you have to do for yourself to feel better and to help yourself heal and get your quality of life back.

I have been going to the pool at the hospital and doing the acquatherapy classes. It is wonderful. 93 degreee water with some bubbling jets helps me to lose weight by exercising , stretching and overall, just being able to move without too much discomfort.

I have my 3 wk checkup with Dr. Graber on 8/10/07. Yesterday, I did weigh myself for the first time since surgery and I was delighted to be down 36 lbs since i started this process. My wife says it really has only been a tad over 3 weeks because I was eating still pretty heavy till just shortly befor the surgery. I have no complaints about this loss. When is the last time I ever dropped 36 pounds this quickly?...Never!! So , I am very thankful and look forward to continued success. Will write more again later. Peace, Brian

August 4th, 2007 It was a very good week exercise wise. I made it to the acqua therapy pool like 3 times or more?, anyways, I did a lot of walking in the pool, stretching and generally moving. It sure helps to get around while I'm still heavy and still recovering fr surgery. I am happy to be able to report that I have been able to tolerate all foodstuffs and liquids so far that I have tried. No problems!! yay!! I am really trying to do this right. proteins and vegtables. I have been pretty much avoiding any carbs, even the soft mashed and the like, no pasta or anything that I should not be having. I am finishing up the last of my protein shake today, and so will be incorporating some new food in my daily diet. It's really been pretty simple to get my vitamins and calcium in also. Dr Graber has me on Flinstones complete and tums 2 x per day. I have bloodwork scheduled for Monday, then at my 3 week checkup , we will discuss and complex b or c? (forget which one) vitamin or whatever else may be in order.
The main staple for me right now is steamed veggies, especially zucchini!! fat free cottage cheese, tuna in water, soft eggs. I appreciate the quality of food now so much more, than when I was overeating so much. The mental issues just have to be dealt with. No numbing with food for me anymore.
After getting save in 1993, the drugs , alcohol and cigarettes are out. the food was still in for coping , gambling. so many things in life that we can turn to ... I am trying to keep it together. I want to live my life an example of what God can do in someones life. I feel a lot of pain about my past and the decisions I made . the murder of my sister Debby, the loss to cancer of my sister Donna, no real Mother growing up, no father to nurture, and all the other baggage that goes with that kind of upbringing. but today I choose to move forward and do something to help myself.

At least when there are issues in our lives, as a person who carries 38 pounds less now, I'm able to cope better.
The simple act of showering is becoming fun again. it is much easier already to clean myself, not huffing and puffing and taking so long. The ability to stretch to wash thouroughly has improved so much already , also after using the bathroom facilities, the ability to clean myself so much more thouroughly is already self-evident. These are the types of things that are private prisons for the morbidly obese, but there is hope, and I have to mention it, because it is important. Anyone struggling with these issues knows what I mean. Hang in there is gets better in a hurry!!

Aug. 7th, 2007... Yesterday got egg stuck in pouch, did'nt chew well enough, and ate too fast first thing in the am, That was not a good experience, first of all the egg was not cooked soft, was a leftover omlette with mushrooms and cheese. just wouldn't go down or up for hours, could'nt get a burp up, finally threw part of it up with the foamies, and I will remember that for a long time.
Last night things went much smoother. ate well and chewed more thouroughly , taking my time, and had a delightful dinner. Not sure how much I am down now, but this Friday the 10th is my 3 week visit with the Surgeon, so guess I'll just wait till then, no sense freaking out about the number, I have a long way to go, but am off to a great start.

Looks like I will be returning to work tomorrow, Lord willing!. There is more time given for my surgery, but since I can not afford to be out too much longer time wise, I need to get back to work. My job is not a physical job so I should be just fine. The mental part is hard enough. I still need to get out and walk and move. The pool has been very helpful for me at the hospital, acquatic therapy, but the hours aren't too friendly for anyone who works a day job.

I plan on putting a new picture on here at least once a month, should be able to notice a little difference that way monthly. I will try to fix up my page a little, hope I don't lose everything like once before. think I'll at least save the text before I try to add any new visuals or html's. Have a good day. keep on believing. Don't look back. Brian

Sept. 8th, 2007
Hi, thanks for stopping by. I haven't posted in a while, I'm 7 weeks post op this week. I've been dealing with my sister in law passing away, finding out my daughters pregnant, also some personal financial problems, but have been losing weight, put like 6 new notches in my belt. I haven't weighed in 3 weeks , but I know I am losing. so that is what I hold to. As long as I am losing, I'm headed in the right direction.

After 7 weeks of learning to eat all over again, I have made some observations. Chew slowly!! Chew well!! I've gotton sick like 5-7 times now, mostly cuz I ate too fast and didn't chew well enough. There are some foods which I do much beter than others with. Each one of us is different in that. I've been pretty good about getting mostly proteins and have been taking vitamins and calcium. Also just a few meds the surgeon ordered. My primary source of protein is chicken. Also enjoying some low fat cottage cheese, and some low fat string cheese. I've not been eating much carbs. Staying away from raw veggies so far. Been steaming zucchini and squash. I've recently been enjoying some real loose chili, being careful to chew very well. For desserts I enjoy low sugar applesauce, and fat free popsicles, tropical fruit. I've tried a few ripe bannanas, but not many.
I find that I'm starting to understand when I've had enough intake, getting a clue before I've eaten too much, by listening to the feeling in my pouch. I've not had even one dumping episode yet, which is great , but I have had times where there must be things that sit in the pouch for anywhere from 1/2 hr to 2 hrs, then start to get the watering in the mouth, which alerts me that is has to come out. That brings me relief ... then I am able to enjoy something else a bit later.
My energy has not been astounding yet, but now after 7 weeks it should start to improve from everything that I am reading. My ability to stay more active longer and to ambulate has improve a whole bunch already. I split wood with a wood splitter last week for like 3 days straight. one day I was up and moving for like 7 hrs. Slow steady work, with bending and lifting, not too heavy though. Then I would stack the wood in the cart and draw it to the cellar window, then unload it.
Mentally , I know I am supposed to enjoy the journey , and I am really trying, just need to stop shooting myself in the foot in some areas. I make things harder on myself than they need to be. Haven't had anyone really be taken back by my weight loss yet, but there are a few ...yes, you do certainly look like you are losing, but I know I am losing. I have a brand new bathroom digital scale, that I am looking forward to being able to use, max is 350, and I haven't quite gotten there yet, but hopefully soon. (Started at 415) I am starting to wear clothes that have been tucked away for a lot of years. Think I will list some of the newer bigger ones on e-bay, my loss is someones gain. Funny the other night , my daughter and her friend and my wife ordered pizza, and asked if I wanted to try some?, I used to live for pizza, and I looked at it and said no thanks, food turns me off. (think I had a rough eating episode earlier that day), but it just seems that after all I been thru, I really need to keep helping myself lose. I am sure that there are things I want to do again , that I have not done for many, many years, and hopefully that will add some joy to my life.

So I'm sitting here thinking , what else could I post that might be helpful to someone reading this page? Oh ok... I never had surgery in my life before this gastric bypass surgery, rny so if your a bit concerned, it's natural, go on faith, the same way you fly on an airplane, on faith. If not you can drive yourself nuts, guess you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. I do admire the people on here that have dropped so much weight, or who are at or near their goal, and i hope that someday that will be me also.
I have a note taped to my computer monitor it goes like this..."Think Positive! Avoid negative thoughts on how hard it could be to change. Think of the benefits you'll gain and improved quality of life you'll have. Stay away from negative envoronments and people who are not supportive. Thanks for listening. Brian

September 23, 2007
Read more posts tonight from people who make it sound like they have no hope??? prompted me to put my thoughts tonight into words, here's what I came up with... thanks for taking the time to read them..... Fill your horn with new oil! develop a warrior mentality!

David encouraged himself.

Keep shaking off self-pity.

We can all make choices to move on with the rest of our lives or choose a victim mentality.

My life has not been easy at all, but I choose to move forward, struggle is good, builds character, and that is what any human being needs in their life to make progress.

Avoid negative thoughts on hard it could be to change. I'm taking anti depression meds and suffer with vertigo, but whatever, It can all kiss my butt.
I'm going forward, it's a decision. only you can make it. choose to do your very best, and then choose to have the best attitude you can at the time, it's really the only thing

we have any control over in this life, it's not what happens to any of us , it's how we choose to handle it. I for one am done being a punk. 52 years old and over 30 years of

being a morbidly obese person who always accepted excuses from himself, gave into drugs, alcohol, cigs, gambling , sex, whatever it took to numb the pain, ......

NOW give me a heavy dose of reality every day, and I'm at least knowing I'm alive and if I fail, I'm going down swinging and taking a whole bunch of those loser

habits with me. No drugs, alcohol, cigarettes for over 15 years now by choice, gambling is recently getting it's butt kicked, and 2 months post op, first and only surgery I

ever had, down 50 lbs with like 175 lbs more to go, I say, let's rock!! You can do it, too. God bless ya, He is able to fix any problem you got, but you got to want it bad enuff

to deal with it head on.

Anything you choose not to walk away from owns you, anything you choose to walk away from , you own it. I'm tired of living a life of quiet desperation. God

help me, I want to be a better me and I am doing it one day at a time by God's almighty mercy and Grace, and if you think you can make it without Him, go for it. ha ha , like

trying to catch all the water coming over Niagara Falls in a styrofoam cup and throw it back up over the top. Good luck, you'll need it... ha ha .. I got to go , getting off my

soap box now, I love you. love yourself, suck it up and be the best man and woman you can be. Only believe!! Brian Felix Pantola aka [email protected]
October 9th, 2007
I am down 70 lbs. It has been exactly 79 days since surgery , like 2.6 months. 70/2.6=26.9 lbs loss per month. Not really too bad for not exercising real hard. Been definately moving more and doing more, the sedentary job doesn't help, but it is what I do.
Will try to get moving more often, as I am needing to continue to see the drop. I must reach my goal, learning patience and better success and coping skills along the way. We never stop learning on the road to success. Skirt the hurt and gain with the pain, it's a cinch by the inch, hard by the yard, but a cinch by the inch. The 7 new notches in my leather belt serve to remind me , the excess weight is coming off, and the clothes are definately a surfire sign also, hard to argue with reality, regardless of what the grooves in the record of our mind say, after so many years. I look forward to that century club , and rcving the card for losing the first hundred pounds. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Peace, Brian

November 11, 2007
Today is Veterans day, God bless all the veterans. We're so blessed to have the Freedomds we do because so many have paid the ultimate price, and so many more are still paying it. I say "America- Love it or leave it!. Press one to kiss my ass in English.

Sorry, don't mean to get so direct, but I just get sick and tired of people trash talking our leaders and all the political correctness bullshit. Men need to look between their legs and see if there is anything there, if your too fat, get a fricking mirror, I know the feeling, but that's changing. I'm not going to live my life afraid anymore. Whatever dude.
Just got off the nordic tracjk skier, got the dust and cobwebs off. bout time. the bike is good, but it doesn't get the heart beating like the skier. only did 30 minutes, but it's in the bank. I'm down 88 lbs, was a rough plateau last week, stuck at 329 for quite a while. I just need to be honest and amp up the exercise. I'm eating fairly healthy compared to before. got some swimming exercise in at the hospital aquatherapy pool. Their hours are all during the day when I work my sedentary job. I need to start pushing myself more, I need to get a good pump going, need to start hitting some weights, I know I am mentally preparing myself to do this change of life thing for real. I'm trusting God and taking it the best way I know how. I've got a lot of anger issues that I'm not sure where they are coming from, other than the devil is pissed off and he's messing with my head. I'm positive he does not like me getting fitter. Whoa, that would actually be a visual for people to see and perhaps help someone believe it is possible to chang your life. OMG did I say that.
Yes I did , and I stand by it , on faith, I want it to be where I can acutually move and do things without it hurting, to actually enjoy moving and bending , and lifting , and working. In a few weeks I'll be 53, that is not too late. Besides it's the youngest I'm ever going to be. so Lord, help me to continue to enjoy the ride, teach me to count my blessings, not to be sad for what hasn't happened but to learn to be excited for what is happening. please help me to know joy, In Jesuse's mighty name , I pray.

December 31, 2007 11:32 pm est.

Well this is my last post for 2007. It's been a while since I last posted, but felt the need to close out the old year, and re-commit to doing what I need to do to continue on towards my goal. I officially weighed myself tonight after a nice shower, shave and relaxing time just listening to some tunes and reflecting on the year in review.

I weigh 321.4 to be exact, started at 415, so I'm down 94 lbs. I know that it is a very good start and I'm thankful for the loss. I never ever lost 94 lbs before in like 5 months and 11 days. I won't tell a lie, I'm kinda frustrated at the early loss, it was very quick, and I've been kinda at the same place for like 5 weeks or more now. People tell me it will start dropping off again, but man it's a bit discouraging , of course, I know my food intake has increased and my exercise has not, so it makes sense if I'm honest with myself. I'm looking forward to getting better in 2008. I must get to that first hundred down soon, then reset the goal for the last 140 lbs to get gone. I know I am the foot soldier in the war on weight.

I'll close the year by thanking God for bringing me thru all the pre-op and the surgery and for the loss of 94 lbs. I appreciate the new lease on life, much has improved. my energy, self esteem, overall health, less aches and pains, better grooming, and various other benefits. I appreciate your stopping by, and continue to pray my strength in the Lord, for with God, all things are possible. Happy New Year ya'll. Brian

February 24th, 2008

Hi everyone! thanks for checking in and taking the time to read my page. It's been a few months since I've updated, but needed to feel I had made some progress before I did so. Well the scale finally moved a little for me again. I've been working to be more active in between battling colds and bronchitis. I've been going to the rehab center in the local area. They have a full blown fitness gym and a aqua-therapy pool that it open like 3 days a week. It is only like 6 miles from my home, and I have arranged my work schedule to work split days in order to be able to go during the day. I am working my way up on a few pieces of equipment in the gym area and also developing my own routine in the pool. Stretching is so much easier in the water and I am trying to do a lot of leg work in there also. It seems to have kickstarted the losing process again. I did some blood work again the other day due to an upcoming visit with my surgeons office.

I finally broke down and ordered a couple of new pair of pants from the internet, still not in the really available sizes yet , but I am glad to report that at my biggest I was around a 70 or 72 waist, and the pair I just bought and worn were 54. I now am down 103 lbs. It's funny how at one time I would have been so amazed at this, but thru the last 7 months since surgery, I have raised the bar on my goals. I thank God for this first 100 lbs, but it has also driven me to be more determined to do the work, to continue the process. It's not enough. I know now that it is going to take more hard work, determination, being smarter, workig harder, eating better , making better choices. Besides if I didn't mention it, my first grandbaby is due in 2.5 months!! yes!! her name is Addison Sky and she is bringing new joy into my life. I so dreamed of some day being around to watch my children raise children , to be able to see them go thru what they put me thru.... ha ha . (joke) but no really to have a new life in the family is going to be so amazing, already she is over 3 lbs. I said to Kelly , my daughter who is Addison's Mom, we need to get her in the pool and teach her as she grows to make good choices for her own health, to care enough about her self to love her self enough to do for herself what no one else can do for her.

Work has been very stressful lately, I hammered together an updated resume and applied for a different position last night within my company. Pray for God's will concerning this.

My wife has been quite sick with the flu and I've been battling some kind of demon, I'm praying and trusting God for a breakthru in this area, she missed the whole week of work last week, and is still not doing a great deal better yet, but the storms don't last for always.

Well , guess I'll go and do the ticker update...always a little challenging for me on here... oh well. peace and chicken grease!! love ya !! Brian

April 27, 2008

Hey what's up ya'll... been a few weeks or more since last update. Daughter Kelly is ready to have baby Addison (our first Grandchild) any day now, due in 5 days on May 2nd. I'm getting pretty psyched up to meet her.

Today was a good day, I worked out in the yard splitting wood and hauling it and stacking it, used a wheel barrel since Irene was using the lawn tractor to cut our friends Dad's lawn who is due to return from Florida in a few weeks. But it's all good, spoke to my son in Washington state who is the Navy and he is doing fine.

We spoke about weight and weight related talk. I advised him that I had a good weigh in today and the scale moved down again. I lost another couple of lbs and am down to 307. Thats 108 lbs dropped. I am grateful for it and it is just spurring me on to lose more. I have been at such a standstill it seems like for so long, although if I really study it , it has been slowly going away. I know it is up to me to increase my exercise and make sure I am eating properly, I'm re-learning the whole process and know ...if it is to be it's up to me. It's a cinch by the inch , hard by the yard, but a cinch by the inch.

I must say it's just a little odd to be working outside for sometimes hours and thinking..Ican't really be doing this...I should be sitting down, I should be exhausted and winded, I should be unable to bend over like this and it's like I'm waiting for the old symptoms to just be there like before, but it's a little different??? I'm finding that I'm able to go longer and get tired less, also able to bend and move and actually not get so darned angry because It's hurting so much. almost eerily weird, because it has been so many years and years of not being able to do some of the little things I'm starting to be able to do. I don't want to kid myself that I'm so thin now, but actually 307 feels actually not too shabby , I guess because whn I was 415 it was just impossible to do so many things.

I'm actually looking forware to doing the physical things more now bedcause my job is so sedentary and I know it will only help me to get more weight off. I sure enjoy fitting into smaller clothes, and actually putting more nothces in my belt. It now has 12 new nothces I've put in it since surgery , and that was 9 months and a week ago.

It is still a struggle to eat right and still hard to not drink diet soda with my meals, but I am working on doing better all the time. Definately can eat a whole lot more than the first few months after surgery, but just have to concentrate on getting mostly protein, and really working hard to stay away from a lot of bread, rice, pasta, carbs in general.

I have put some new pics on recently and will post some new ones after I'm below 300. When I get into the 200's my goal is then to take it 10 lbs at a time. first 290, then 280, 270, ect. I must continue to succeed, there is a reason for all of us to be on this earth, and I may not totally be clear on mine yet, but if helping others to overcome all the bad habits and things in my life that I felt compelled I had to do, (you know the ones...drinking , drugging, smoking, gambling, gluttony, and a few others... there is hope, somehow, with a child like faith there is hope. I'm going to hang on and continue to trust in the Lord. He didn't bring any of us this far to leave us.

My son Adam said I was getting aliitle preachy tonight with him, but that's ok, I love him and maybe just a little might seep thru.

Well, ya'll keep on push on. It ain't easy,. it's just easier than failing.

s You. Brian