Jo N.

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So I know it's been a long time since I've last posted. The most honest answer is because life got away from me. I got pregnant within a little afte my 1st full year with the band. I had lost then nearly 167 lbs. However, upon seeing a picture of myself from Thanksgiving dinner I was disgusted at how sickly I looked weighing roughly 149-153 lbs. I decided to regain roughly 10-15 lbs depending on how I felt... well then I got pregnant. I wasn't asked but I did remove all but 1 whole cc out of my band. In hindsight I'm glad I did. During my 3rd month of my pregnancy, during a normal routine examine, that's when life changed for me. They found I had cervical cancer. And unforunately I couldn't have any form of treatment until the baby was born. Until then, I enjoyed being pregnant. I enjoyed being in love with a wonderful man. I enjoyed life. I enjoyed as much as I could. See... shortly after I was diagnosised with cancer....I was proposed to...... and then weeks later my father died from cancer. I had a lot to think about during my pregnancy. There were lots of extra doctor appts. But on September 29th, 3 days after the due date, Quinntin Alyn was born. Beautiful & healthy. Though he did have to spend 4 days in the NICU he was healthy. Now it was my turn to be healthy. January I had my radical hystorectomy where they found I actually had undetected uterine cancer. From Feburary till June I had chemo every Monday & radiation treatments every weekday till May. In June I was done with chemo & just had one specific type of radiation therapy every Wednesday. Then I got married that August. Yes, I sure did, LOL!
So going thru treatment, getting married, having a baby, & my dad's death put me in a terrible state of emotional distress. But I wouldn't admit it. I gained to nearly 200 lbs & lied about how much I weighed. Even to myself. I developed esophagual dilation. I was utterlly & compltely out of control and for just right reasons. So I went into therapy to deal with greif. Then I started reading these monthly articles from Good Housekeeping magazine from author & public speaker Geneen Roth. Finally one of her articles hit me hard & I broke down and bought her book "When Food Is Love". OMGOSH! I learned so much from that book. SO much about ME! I couldn't beleive just how much of myself I learned from that book. See Geneen used to be obese.... she finally broke herself down to why was she always unable to keep weight off. She went soul searching & in the process found that soul searching was the process. And not just every now & then...but to live in a state of enjoying ever minute of life by concusiously being aware of it by constantly keeping your soul searching going. I bought her workbook next, "Why Weight? How to end compuslive eating". She's written more books. Including "Women Food God"  and "When you pull a chair up to the refrigorator". And I finally started to loose weight.

So where am I now?

Living. Still loosing weight. Reminding myself that I have a food addiction & compulsive emotional eating addiction. Today I weighed in at 172 lbs. I'd like to go 8-10 more lbs and maintain at that point. I don't think I could get back to what the band truely means if it wasn't for confronting my emotional issues and read Geneen Roth's books. I think, honestly, that if I continued being disrespectful & mean to myself via eating - that I would have ended up with all kinds of band complaints and complications. That's my honest opinion for myself personally.  

Weight: 157

Ran into a esophageal dilation problem. Had a CT Scan and a Barium swallow but the good news is that it isn't/wasn't a "bad" thing and very fixable. I just have to stay upright for three hours after eating. No reclining or laying down. Did that for a week and a half and I'm back to normal. See Fixable. Other then that I'm doing reallly really really good. Found a mortgage company that is helping me get a house. Been spending time finding a good decent house here in Crawfordsville. I think I found one but there are more out there. I've got 40 Days till Thanksgiving. That's when I want to be out of this hell hole and in MY own place. Got to meet Jana Wolf from Pittsboro. She came up for my Peer Support Meeting. What a great woman. She's 2 yrs out on RNY. I really enjoyed getting to meet her. Anyways - that's all to report.

CIAO!