Anne D.
Monday, July 16, 2007
My name is Anne, I'm 44 years old, weigh 260 lbs and have a BMI of almost 48...isn't that just wonderful (as she pukes uncontrollably). I hate being fat...I hate everything about it. I hate the looks that others give you...I hate having to buy clothes at the fat people's store...I hate the fact that men don't look at me anymore cause I look like a beached whale....I hate the fact that when I tie my shoe laces it feels like an Olympic event...I hate this "buffalo hump" that I have on my back between my shoulders cause hey, guess what? I'm fat! I hate it when I try to go to the gym and someone asks, "What are you going to do there? EAT?" (someone actually said that to me) I hate that I've become reclusive because I'm mortified by how much weight I've gained. And oh, did I mention....I HATE BEING FAT!!!!
I'm waiting for my approval letter from OHIP. The wait is killing me. That's all I can think about. Does everyone go through this? God help them if they do. I phoned OHIP this morning cause I wanted to see how how long it would take for them to finally send me this elusive letter. They said it would take 6 to 8 weeks from the time I applied. I feel as though I've had my life on hold for so long....years and years really. I long to be normal. I kiddingly told my sister that when I'm thin, I'm gonna buy all my clothes at slut.com lol. Well...maybe not..lol
I have a book of quotes that I've kept forever. I've had this one for years....and when I'm thin, I'm gonna get it printed on a T-shirt....."NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS!" I know. I've been thin. Maybe one day again.
Anne