Jessica O.
I have gone down many bumpy roads and crossed many obstacles with my attempts at weight loss. I've decided to continue my journey and consider WLS. My weight has increased drastically over the years. I started gaining weight as a young child, but mainly during my pre-teen/teenage years. I've never felt completely comfortable with myself ... inside and out. I think back to my pre-teen/teenage years and remember how I was constantly tormented and picked on by school mates. To this day, I still remember some of the names that I was called ... "Butter Ball" is the one that sticks out in my memory the most. I can remember how it hurt my feelings and my dignity so much, but I would always try my hardest to never give in to such hateful words and allow that to show on the outside. I never understood why people had to be so cruel, just because of how I looked on the outside. It must have just ate me up inside to the point where I felt like my only comfort zone was anywhere that I could find food. I had ballooned with my weight once I reached highschool ... and even then, some of the same school mates that tormented me as a child, still insisted on making fun of me then too.
I can honestly say that I didn't make every attempt to lose weight on my own until 2 years ago. It was in the fall of 2005, when I decided to try and change my life (emphasis on try). I tried every diet out there ... numerous appetite suppressant/diet pills ... exercise ... eating healthy ... watching the amount I ate. It seemed to be going great at first ... I managed to lose 30 LBS in 4 months time. I was so proud of myself and couldn't be happier! I was starting to gain more self confidence in myself ... Had the feeling that I could really do it. After the 4 months had passed ... It seemed as if I had been stuck in a rut. Everyone kept telling me, "You need to switch things up a bit" ... meaning that I needed to change exactly what I was doing and try something else different, but that didn't really seem to work well for me either. I remember back then, I was so stuck on the fact that I didn't even want to consider WLS because I knew that I had it in me to do it on my own and I looked at WLS as taking the easy way out ... I'm sure that I could do it on my own ... If only I had that kind of time on my hands. I have tried to be so patient with myself and my attempts to lose weight, but I feel like I'm coming to my wits end. One of the biggest inspirational T.V. shows that I loved watching was The Biggest Loser ... Those people could do it on their own ... But of course, that was with the help of a personal trainer that worked their asses off for several hours a day/several times a week, a personal chef that cooked everything healthy for them ... nothing bad that would throw them off track. I guess that's why they call it reality T.V. because it really is reality.
Well, needless to say ... I've decided to turn the page. I truely believe that I am ready to take that next step and seek WLS, since it really does seem that all else has failed. I want nothing more than to be able to look at myself and really like what I see. I know in my heart, that if I do have WLS ... I will never give up. I will try my hardest to be consistent with living a healthy lifestyle because afterall ... it is a life changing decision. 
