jsh3323

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I've been staring at the screen for 20 minutes trying to figure out what to say in this post. I guess there's nothing else to say or do but have the operation. See you on the other side.

I went to my Surgeon's office today to get weighed and was totally shocked to find out I had lost 18 pounds. I couldn't believe it. I went in thinking I had gained weight and was prepared to hear them tell me they wouldn't operate because I hadn't lost the required amount of weight.

Even though I saw the scale display with my own two eyes I'm still a little skeptical. I don't feel like I've lost any weight. Maybe they rigged the scale or something. Conspiracy theories aside I don't know how I feel about the weight loss. I just proved to myself that I can still do it on my own, I didn't think I could anymore. I'm happy to have lost the weight but pissed at myself for not trying sooner.

5 days to go.

I don't get it. My Surgeon said during my initial consult that I would need to go on a liquid diet 12 days before surgery and lose 10 pounds. If I don't lose the weight my surgery could be canceled. So I get a call from my Surgeons office today telling me I need to come in to do my final weight check and pay the Surgeon's fee before surgery. I'm only five days into my liquid diet and they are telling me I can come in whenever I want to be weighed. Since I'm not even half way through the diet I'm assuming I haven't lost the 10 pounds yet (I don't have a scale) so what’s the point of coming in.

It’s obvious they just want their money. So why make me go through the pre-op diet if I'm not going to be judged on the amount of weight lost over the entire duration of the diet. I'm an obese person with limited resources, I hate to waste physical and mental energy for no good reason. Somebody with a different mental attitude than me might read that last sentence and say my failing health was plenty reason to diet and lose weight no matter what the circumstances are. To this I say I don't want to lose weight by dieting and exercising. I hate doing both and I don't have the will to succeed at either. I'm paying for a tool to force me to reduce what I eat. I don't want to have to play any games to get that tool. Just install it and let me use it.

Now I’ve heard the spiel about losing weight before surgery but in my case I’m saying it’s a bunch of bull.

I was so weak and sick from the pre-op diet I used it as an excuse to shove food in my mouth. Surprisingly I don’t feel as guilty as I thought I would. Maybe it’s because I got right back on the wagon this morning and chugged one of those lovely shakes! I could relapse and consume my refrigerator at any moment but for now I’m hanging in there.

Speaking of feeling sick I knew I’d be hungry on the pre-op diet but I had no idea I’d feel so bad. I’m thinking I’m dehydrated. I do most of my drinking when I’m eating. If I’m not eating I’m not drinking. I’ll make a effort to increase my water intake.

One week to surgery.

Yuk that powdered stuff smells and tastes real bad. At this point I think I’d rather not eat. Its twelve days till my surgery and I need to lose ten pounds. Unfortunately it’s probably more like twenty since I think I've gained about ten pounds since I was last weighed.

On another note I'm starting to think I may be the first patient through what now appears to be a brand new bariatric program at the hospital. Either that or this is the first time my Surgeon has worked through this hospital. I seem to be going through what I would describe as growing pains. Fortunately all of the issues have been administrative and clerical in nature. As long as my surgery and post-op care is error free I guess I can live with some headaches up front.

400 bucks is what it cost me for my PCP to say in writing that it’s OK for me to have surgery. Not having insurance I knew I was going to take a hit but never did I think it would cost this much. The letter was even written before I got to the doctors office for my so called physical which consisted of a BP, temp, and pulse check.

The good news is I attended Dr. Jessee's support group this evening for the first time and I enjoyed it. Not that I'd wish obesity on anybody but it is comforting to know there are other people out there that understand what you are going through.

Next week I plan on getting my blood work, EKG, and x-ray out of the way. I also plan to expand the diet changes I started this week. So far i've eliminated cream and sugar from my coffee and started to reduce the amount of fluids I drink with food.

Since my last post I’ve completed and passed my mental eval and had my initial consult with Dr. Jessee. I continue to be impressed with Dr. Jessee and I’m anxious to have the procedure done so I can get on with the next stage of my life. July 2^nd is the date of my surgery. I was hoping it would be sooner since I was told in my first meet and greet with Dr. Jessee’s team that I could fast track things (Since I’m paying cash) and have surgery in 2 – 3 weeks.

The administrative part of my initial consult was a little confusing. There was a lot of information to absorb and some of the information / instruction initially provided was incorrect. I’m still a little confused but I hope to have everything straightened out this week.

I started my latest WLS journey at the beginning of the week and I can't believe how far I've come already. I've chosen Dr. Jessee as my surgeon and attended two of her information sessions. After I have my mental eval and my initial consultation with Dr. Jessee next week I hope to be on the pre surgery diet and have a date for surgery. So glad I don't have to deal with insurance, I’d be chasing my tail instead of making progress right now.