11 Weeks Post Op...

Nov 12, 2012

Wow...I haven't posted in a while. I went through some really tough times with my sleeve where I was constantly vomiting, my throat was being torn up with heartburn and it seemed like there was absolutely NOTHING I could eat that wouldn't upset my system in one way or another. I went to my doctor who put me on Reglan and two different antacids twice a day for two weeks and it gave my body the rest it needed to heal. As my husband would say, I "dropped back and punted" with the way I ate and went back to bland soft foods and focused on my protein. I felt really sorry for myself and would frequently say how much I regretted getting sleeved. Sadness, depression, frustration, anger...all a part of my day for a while there. But I kept plugging on and doing what I knew I should be doing. Eventually, the heartburn became manageable again, my stomach settled down and my diet opened up again. Now, let's be real here - it wasn't like I had a choice to do otherwise. My stomach wouldn't handle the foods I WANTED to eat, so it wasn't like I could go "off my diet" anyway! But you see, that's always been my downfall in the past. I'd get upset with my journey and throw it all away and go eat my sorrows away. Your sleeve simply won't let you do that...and I couldn't be more thankful. 

So where am I today? The whole heartburn/vomiting fiasco was about a month ago I guess. Maybe a little more. I don't know. I quit coming on here. I quit talking about being sleeved. I just quit letting the sleeve be the center of my universe and I focused on other areas of my life. Of course I still had to eat, but eating was for utilitarian purposes only; it was fuel for my body. I tried to eat healthy, but I didn't focus so much on the label. I went through yet another stinking plateau that last almost 3 weeks. Here's the thing about plateaus - don't let them frustrate you. I, like most everyone else, noticed that when I'm in a plateau that I'm losing inches more so than pounds. I'll take it all day long. During the last plateau, I hung steady at 190 for almost three weeks. During that time, I dropped in my jeans size from a loose fitting 18 to a comfortable fitting 14! All while staying the same weight! Isn't that amazing?! Happened during my first plateau too...dropped from a 20 to an 18. So don't let those plateaus scare you. Don't let the scale run your life. Don't let the numbers determine your idea of success. To do so is to set yourself up for failure. Just live...eat healthy...get some exercise into your day as often as you can...just BE. The weight will come off in time, but you stressing over it and wishing it would happen faster doesn't help a thing. Okay?  

Crap...I didn't answer the question. Where am I today...well...as of today, I am 185 pounds. I started at 250. According to the BMI calculator, I have, as of today, dropped in category from "Obese - Class 1" to "Overweight". Not bad considering my starting category was " Obese Class 3: Morbid Obesity". I'm still in a size 14 jeans, but probably not for much longer. They're getting a little loose already. I eat pretty much whatever I want, but out of pure habit now, I go for the protein first. Last night was my son's 15th birthday and we went to a movie and then to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. I ate some popcorn at the movie and then ordered a child's plate of ribs from the restaurant with a side order of corn. The popcorn was probably not a good idea, but I didn't get much, I chewed thoroughly and I don't seem to have any ill side effects as of this morning. At dinner, I started with the ribs and had probably two, possibly three bites of corn. Yes, I know, corn is a no no. I have no excuses. I wanted it. I ordered it. I kept myself in check and limited how much I ate of it. Some may call that a dangerous attitude, but my food doesn't control me anymore. I just wanted a taste and I didn't go crazy, so I feel no guilt. To look at my plate, you wouldn't think I ate anything at all, but I felt satisfied, so I boxed up the rest to take it home for the hubby's lunch for tomorrow. Here's something else I want to pass on to you, SO LISTEN UP...we overweight people have all enjoyed a good buffet or know of a favorite restaurant that serves large portions and we eat there because we feel like we're getting our money's worth for our meal. Stop it. Do not be held hostage by what you spent on a meal. When you do that, you are literally PAYING to put pounds on yourself. I still go to buffets with my family, but I always ask for the senior rate (tell them you've had surgery - not one place has ever denied me and I travel five states for work. When I choose my foods from the buffet, it's a biteful of several PROTEINS from the bar and one or two veggies. Stay away from that sweets bar!!! If you've chosen your proteins wisely, you won't be hungry for sweets and such anyway. If you find that the temptation of the sweets bar is more than you can handle, then stay away from buffets until you get better control of your food issues. Trust me on this! My first trip to a buffet was at a Golden Corral and the never ending chocolate fountain with all the sweets stacked around it was almost more than I could bear. I was able to resist it, but it was obvious to me that I wasn't ready to be at a place like that yet. Now? Now it doesn't bother me. I like my smaller sized jeans and cute clothes more than I do those damned chocolate drizzled marshmallows! 

Okay, so that's another thing...none of us truly believe we have food issues. We tend to believe that we're just victims of circumstance and that if this had been different or if we'd done this or that differently, we wouldn't have all this extra weight. We blame it on our jobs, the stress, the people we hung around or the children we had and the havoc giving birth to them did to our bodies (we women of course). Shut up! It isn't true! And the sooner you admit that and learn to deal with it, the sooner you can move forward in your weight loss journey! And if it were simply a glandular issue, you'd be taking meds for it from your doctor, not considering or recovering from gastric surgery! We all got to our low points that led us to look into gastric surgery because of choices WE made. For me, I chose to use food as a reward. I'm sad, let's eat. I'm HAPPY!, let's eat. I'm frustrated, pass me those chips. Food is a fuel for our bodies. While it should be enjoyable to consume, it should still be quality fuel for our bodies. Would you put cruddy fuel in your car? Then why in your body? Be mad about me saying this if you want. Stew over it a couple of days. But mark my words, in time you'll begin to see how food controlled you too. It was a bitter pill for me to swallow too. Now that I see where my issues are/were, I have my control back. It's a powerful feeling...and the results are showing on the scale and in the mirror. 

So what else...OH!! Body image!! I have lost a total of 65 pounds, but in my mind, I still felt like you really couldn't tell that I had lost weight. A little maybe, but I was afraid to tell anyone how  much I'd lost because I was afraid they'd walk away muttering under their breath, "yeah, right...sure you did". I went to my nephew's birthday party Sunday evening. My brother and my sister in law are the type to have big get-togethers where they invite friends, family, neighbors, etc. so you tend to see the same people over and over. One girl in particular I haven't seen in probably 4 months or so. I was standing around the bonfire with everyone else when she walked up looking at me like she didn't know who I was. Then she said the most amazing words....she said, "Holy crap! You've lost an assload of weight! You look great!" I HEARD ANGELS SINGING! She made my day with that one comment! Someone noticed that I lost weight and it wasn't family! You know...cuz we all know family tells us what we want to hear and it's not always the truth...LOL! She was the first "outsider" to notice and it felt amazing. It was confirmation to me that regardless of what I imagined in the mirror, there are some big changes going on in this body of mine.  

Lastly...problems. Seems to be what folks who aren't as far along in the journey as me want to know about. I get it. I still look to others who are further along than me to see what they're experiencing. It's natural. So here goes...

Bowels...one day they're loose, the next day they're solid. No real problems with constipation and no, I don't take anything for that. I try to make sure I get what fiber I can in with what I eat and thus far, no real problems. Others have reported diarrhea, but I haven't had that issue. I did have one bout of constipation where I got so focused on work and everything else going on in my life that I didn't realize I hadn't had a bowel movement in several days. It resulted in severe cramps that ended with me sitting on the toilet having a bowel movement and puking in a bowel at the same time. My mother has been a nurse for decades and said this is indication that I was literally "full" and there was no room for anything else to go down. It was painful and avoidable. Lesson learned.

Go poop. Every day. Go poop. 

Gas...yeah, call me "Chicago" for I am the windy city. My gut is constantly gurgling, talking and whistling. It gets annoying at times. Like when the house is totally quiet and I'm working on my laptop and all I hear is my stomach chattering away. Shut up already! But all that chattering and noise making leads to gas. Some are sneaky Pete's that don't amount to much. Some are SBDs (silent, but deadly). Others are like fireworks on the Fourth of July and roar like thunder from down under! Makes me thankful that I've been married for 20 years to a man who thinks farts are funny. (FYI, wet farts are NOT funny, so be selective about pushing air in public. #justsaying) 

Vomiting...dammit.  I hate this part. Yeah, I vomit. But not nearly as much as I used to back when I had all the heartburn and stuff. Now it's a hit or miss type thing. Typically it happens when I eat too fast because I've gone too long in between meals and end up eating more than I intended. My food volume is still quite small. Many MANY people here on OH told me from the very beginning to under eat my sleeve. What does that mean? Don't stuff yourself. Eat until you're satisfied and then stop. Within a few minutes, the synapses will travel from your belly to your brain telling you that you're full. I typically stop eating just before I feel satisfied and then when those synapses make the trip to my brain, I feel satisfied. I eat every two to three hours and I don't follow any particular notion of breakfast/snack/lunch/snack/dinner/snack...I simply don't have time in my schedule to keep up with shit that closely. Sorry. I eat what I want at each meal and don't worry about what time it is or what kind of meal I had last. I try to get an assortment of foods daily to include fruits, grains, PROTEIN, dairy, etc and I take my multivitamins religiously. I don't take Miralax or stool softeners or anything like that. I take two gummy multivitamins a day...that's it. I drink a cup of coffee every morning (for the protection of everyone around me), but I avoid caffeinated drinks in general. I have enough gas without adding to it and those bubbly drinks make me uncomfortable. I go for Gatorade or juices or just plain ol' water. Like I said, depends on how I'm feeling at the moment. My sleeve doesn't rule me - it assists me. And so far, we're doing pretty good together. 

Food jealousy....okay, every now and then, I'll get jealous that others are able to eat what they want and as much as they want. Stupid huh? I agree, but that doesn't negate the fact that I get jealous every now and then. Now that my diet is opening up, it doesn't happen as often, but you may have to remind yourself of that until your diet opens up too. The depravity and the suffering in the first weeks after being sleeved are temporary. Don't let them get you down. The end results are worth it..I promise. 

I think that's it for now. If you haven't started a blog of your own, you should. It's cathartic to write out this stuff and get it out there. And it  helps others to know that they aren't crazy for going through the same feelings you're having. Not everyone on here is a great communicator and things tend to get said that can discourage you. Try to accept the message and discard the attitude if you get a response to a post that offends you. I walked away from OH for a while after a mild fiasco, but even in my absence, I tried to learn from the things that were said and use those messages for my own growth. This journey isn't easy. It makes us look at our inner demons and acknowledge their presence. It forces us to not only admit our weaknesses, but to confront them and overcome them. That shit is HARD! No one likes to admit they have faults! My best advice to you? Walk your journey YOUR way. Do whatever YOU have to do to make this successful for YOU. What worked for others may or may not work for you, so listen to what your body is telling you. It's hard to decipher what your body wants in the beginning. Give it time and you'll learn the signs. (For instance, if I hiccup, I'm full. If I sneeze, I for sure won't vomit. Etc...) For years we've mistreated our bodies and look where it got us. Now it's time to rebuild that relationship with our bodies and our minds and you should expect bumps along the way. That's where your support system comes in and plays such a critical role in your success. Reach out when you need help - no medals for being a martyr! If I can help in any way, feel free to private message me.


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About Me
Surgery Date
Aug 19, 2012
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