a year to come clean

Jun 01, 2010

well i had my 1 yr surgiversary in may, just a few weeks ago. it wasnt exciting. i went for a walk.
I am not where i wanted to be but definately not where i was so the glass is "half" neither empty nor full. I know why, I havent exercised and I have made some poor food choices, especially lately. I wear a size small yoga pant but dont let that fool you, i have a size 8 shorts, size 10 shorts and size 11 pant (though i swear that one is mismarked cuz its my only 11), my jean waist is a 29-30 (depending on my bloat).
when i was a preop i would think, how can people lose all that weight and risk their life just to go back to it..well you cant know till you know. old habits (addictions) die hard and i just didnt have a good enough plan in place to deal with those days and things. i havent been to a support meeting in forever and i havent planned and taken my nutrition as seriously as i need to. to good news, i think its never too late. time for a new plan...time to reach out for more help. time to DEAL with my stresses in life. Open to ideas and helpful comments (nothing negative, i have enough of that in my own head).

Planning nutrition, i can do this...i use to be pretty good at this.
Problems with it:i am a sucker for a craving and i usually give in in a decent way (modified version of before), the volume i eat is more then it probably should be, how to feel full/I drink water with my meals (i know i shouldnt but after doing it for over a year, i have tried and feel like i am just gonna die of thirst without fluid for an hour before or after (ugh, times 3 meals and 2 snacks, when do you drink?????)
Exercise, time and hate...open to ideas here. KEEP IN MIND, I really cant "push it" I can only do mild to brisk walks, ride bikes with little or no hills (my migrines will not allow for more), no gym membership (and not intrested at all), i have some exercise dvds, i also have a 5yr old who is very active and demanding and always BORED!
Stress, how to deal? I will be finding a way to attend a monthly support meeting, but how do you "deal" with stress, i dont get it, i hear people say it but have no idea what that means its like me telling you to "obdirate", you have no idea what i am talking about (OK, cuz i made up that word).
I have dumping but i think that is fadding from over exposure lately, i am hoping it comes back, but if not, i feel i can get over my sugar fix, i am too addicted and cannot have even a little of that stuff...its like my crack, my own personal crack.
so like the beatles said "Help, if you need somebody...PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME"
much love
jp

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