justthebeginning
I'm the "fat girl." Always have been. I don't ever remember not being overweight. From childhood I was always the little girl with the "pretty face." That's thin people talk for, you should loose some weight. My step-father would make me have weigh-ins. He would do them at opportune times when my mom wasn't there. In 6th grade, the night of my slumber party with the girls from school, it was one of his weigh-ins. I didn't meet his expectation, so he made me call all of my friends and tell them that the party was off. I didn't have to tell them why, but I knew. My mother would say, you can't cry with an oreo in your mouth (she was right), but that leads to medicating yourself with food.
My weight has made me who I am and who I'm not.
I am:
a cancer survivor
a fighter
impatient at times
result oriented
a doer
a diabetic
afraid that someone will call me fat
afraid that people will look at me and make an immediate judgement
upset that I can't fit in the "booth" in the restaurant
hurt that I have to ask for a seat belt extender on the plane
worried that my health will take me off this planet before I'm ready to go
I'm not:
a mother
Judgemental
Afraid to make changes
Afraid to go for it
Hurtful to others
Who I hope to become:
Confident
Someone who will stand up for herself - but still maintain respect for others
