Dec 28, 2008That is, of 2008. What a year it has been. I can't believe that just over 7 months ago I had the surgery. I am down 108 lbs. I wish I could say that I feel a dramatic difference, but I don't. I know it's in my mind. What hasn't changed: the way that I see myself in the mirror (I still see me~not a fabulously thin girl), the way my husband reacts to me (he is not "all over me" because of my weight loss), the way that strangers see me (I'm still invisible), my life (in general things are the same ~ nothing dramatic has happened to make my life the fabulous life that I thought would come with weight loss). What has changed: my clothing size (from a 30/32 to a 16), my diabetes (gone), my health (no more sleep apnia, high blood pressure), what I look like (I think I look older than before, because of the sagging skin ~ I always told myself that I was cute ~ just fat ~ now I don't think I'm cute anymore ~ I just feel old), I can fit into the booth at the restaurant, I can cross my legs, I did get a pair of baby phat jeans (they are now getting too big, but I had to have them), I have started to run on the treadmill. Things that I am hoping for in 2009. More weight loss ~ people are saying, "you don't need to loose any more weight." Really folks that is not helpful. I am a size 16, not a size 6. I want to be at goal. I want to, for the first time in my life not be categorized in the overweight category. I am wishing for my husband to find a keep a job that he enjoys so that we can be financially stabil. I am hoping for success at my job ~ with all the changes at work, I want the company to continue to grow and I would like to grow with it. I hope for health for my family ~ nothing is more important. I wish that I will be able to see my father this year ~ I haven't seen him in 2 years and I really miss him. Just to look at him or hold his hand. What I didn't know about WLS ~ I didn't know that it would be this hard. At first, it is just about being able to eat. Just keeping something in, worrying if you are getting enough, but eventually you will be able to eat and eat things that you know you shouldn't be eating. I will work this year on making healthy choices. After all, isn't realizing my goal more important than food?