It's no longer uncontrolled

Jul 27, 2008

249 - Went to the endocrinologist on Friday and he said that my diabetes is no longer in the "uncontrolled" catagory.  I was so happy.  I haven't taken any meds since the hospital, but I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing.  He confirmed that it is okay for me to be off all my meds; 5 shots and 2 oral meds.  My blood sugar was at 110 and my A1C was a 6.5.  Last time I went, my A1C was at 11.  Can you say, I'm jumping up and down with joy.  This means that I am now at lower risk of a heart attack and stroke and I have increased my life span.  This is so important to me.  My mother at age 45 had a stroke and I felt as if I was going down the same path.  I can honestly say that the surgery has saved my life.  Weight loss is slow, but it is still coming off.

Brain Catch Up

Jul 17, 2008

Today is 7/17, 10 days from my last post and nothing.  This morning I'm at 254.5.  This scale really needs to hurry up and catch up with my brain.  You see, in my brain I have never weighed 300+ pounds.  When I look in the mirror I don't see an obese person.  I always look at the whole picture:  makeup, check, hair, check, clothes, check, smelling good, check.  I thought as long as these things were in order I must be looking good to meet the public.  Then I see photos.  OMG, what a hag.  This must be the way other people see me.  I'm not sure how the brain distorts the image in the mirror but not in the picture.  Anyway, I'm ready for my image to appear to everyone as it has appeared to me for the last 43 years.

The little WOW's count too

Jul 06, 2008

This past week has flown by and so have the pounds.  I've lost 11 lbs in one week.  As of this morning I'm at 255.  I had a few little WOW moments over the weekend.  Went to the movies yesterday with my grandsons to see Wall-e.  Cute movie.  Before I knew it, my legs were crossed.  They actually were crossed!  Not at the ankles but at the knees, where they are supposed to cross.  I don't remember ever in life, being able to cross my legs.  I've always wanted to, I think it is sexy.  I couldn't keep them crossed for the whole movie, but this was my first internal WOW moment.  My husband's family reunion was this weekend and everyone was commenting on how good I looked.  This was a big boost!  I like getting compliments.  Someone was commenting on how good I was looking and my husband was standing there and they asked what he thought and he said I was doing great, and that he loved me, but he loved me at any weight.  (AWWWWW)   Compliments are hard to take, because I'm not prepared to get them.  I'm still a work in progress.  48 lbs down.  I am truly blessed that I had this surgery!  I can't wait to see me in another 6 months! 

Not my friend

Jun 08, 2008

The scale is NOT my friend.  I've known this all my life, but I thought after this surgery it would be.  This morning I weighed 277.  That means, not only have I NOT lost any weight, I have actually gained.  How can this be?  I've been following the routine and I've even been exercising.  40 minutes on the treadmill every other day.  I am frustrated.  I want to loose the weight.  This is my last chance.  I feel like there is nothing else that can be done to help me loose the weight.  Tomorrow is my 3 week appointment with Dr. K and I'm going to ask him what else I can do?  Is this typical (I don't think it is)?  I'm not making excuses.  This is it and I'm going to "get 'er done."

It's slow goin'

Jun 04, 2008

276.5 ~ I'm a little over 2 weeks out from surgery.  I returned to work this past Monday (13 days after surgery).  I am feeling great!  Started working out at the YMCA this past Monday and have been every day since.  I know it's only been 3 days, but I'm excited.  I want to loose weight.  I feel that I finally have a chance to finally accomplish this weight loss thing.  I have lost 16.5 lbs since surgery.  Seems like it is going slower than I thought.  I'm really not eating a whole lot or have the need to.  I am trying and getting better at feeling my hunger and not my mental hunger.  I have a mantra that I repeat to myself often "You are worth it ~ You deserve to loose weight."  Guess what, I believe it!  I do deserve to loose weight and have a healthy life.  I do deserve to be treated like a human being and not some freak of nature.  I do deserve to have good feelings about myself and buy things for MYSELF instead of everyone else.  What does a fat person buy for herself when she's out shopping with friends?  Shoes ~ that way she doesn't have to go to a special store and feel out of place.  Only thing is, I buy the shoes and then when I get them home I can't wear them because they are too snug or my feet have swelled to the point where I can't get them on.  I do deserve to loose weight!!!!!!!!! and feel good about myself.  I look at others on this site that have lost oodles more weight than I have in a shorter period of time and get frustrated.  What am I doing wrong?  and then I think, if I hadn't had this surgery would I have lost any weight and the answer is NO.  So I'm going to take it as it comes and eventhough I feel like it is coming off slow ~ it is coming off and that's what counts.

7 days out

May 27, 2008

Today is 7 days out for me.  Haven't weighed in yet.  I'm feeling better and better as each day passes.  I didn't expect to feel as bad as I did on the day after surgery.  I think from the pain meds, but once I got home and in the shower and my own bed the recovery has progressed easily.  I'll post more later on.


Re-birthday

May 19, 2008

290 lbs - Farewell to the old me.  Tomorrow is my re-birthday.  I'm going to make the most of this honeymoon period that everyone keeps talking about.  I have the drive and I have the willpower, but moreso I have the knowledge and the friends here at OH that will help me or keep me in line, which ever I need at the moment.  I will do my best on this new journey and whenever I faulter I will give myself a break and pick myself up and keep going, for no one is perfect.  I wish I could say something more profound, but that is all that will come out this morning as my stomach is very upset.

No Excuses

May 12, 2008

8 days to go and slimfast is my best friend.  I almost can't smell the bad smell anymore.  Chocolate is my favorite and I'm actually looking forward to "meal" times.  Next Tuesday is "the" day.  I can't wait.  Tomorrow I will start the:  this is the last time that I will ever do this countdown.  Like this is the "last Tuesday" that I will ever not have gastric bypass.  I do that will a lot of things.  Especially things that I want to accomplish or overcome.  Telling myself that it is the last time that I have to do things or that certain things will occur often lets me get through.  I was blessed this weekend by being able to see my grandsons.  The "drama queen" brought them over at 11pm on Saturday night.  I got to spend all of Mother's day with them.  They are my light and joy and bring me much happiness.  I think that's why "DQ" uses them as leverage tools.  She knows it hurts when they are taken away.  I will not let any drama give me an excuse not to have my surgery ~ I refuse!  As some of you may know, my mother had a brain anurysm about 16 years ago.  She was 45 at the time.  Ever since I have been taking care of her.  She lost her speech and the use of her right side, but she is still very capable and she is a spitfire.  I love her very much.  I have made arrangements for my Aunt to take her over the few days that I will be in the hospital (I told my Aunt, I'm having gall bladder surgery) she definately won't approve and I just don't want to hear that right now.  I know what is best for me and how I feel and how I don't want to feel.  I spoke to my brother yesterday for the first time in about 6 months.  He is glad for me, but he is very self-absorbant, so all he did was speak about himself.  I think I have all my affairs in order.  I just have to pack my bag, but I know something will rear it's ugly head before my surgery date.  It always does.  Just one more thing to fight through.

Heart broken

May 07, 2008

Yesterday was another adventure in drama.  Let me explain.  My step-son and his girl friend / babies mama, whatever you want to call them have been living with me and my husband for 7 years now.  For only a brief time have they not lived with us.  (probably about a year - when they had their own apartment)  Anyway - we have been carrying the load for a long time with no financial help and very little in the way of physical help.  Each year at about this time, she decides she no longer wants to live with us (ie.  she has met a new boy - she strives off of being the center of attention) So this year is no different.  She leaves one weekend and doesn't come home for a couple of days.  She leaves the next weekend and does the same.  She did the same this past weekend and when she returned, my step-son had had enough.  He confronted her and it turned into a huge fight.  They both pushed and shoved and they both were arrested (rightfully so).  Anyway, she called from jail and wanted us to bail her out. (NOT)  Then when she got out she called and said could we drive her to work (NOT).  She called at 10:00 at night, could we pick her up from work and could she come back and live with us (NOT).  My husband told her since she did not have a place to live that we would keep the children until she got on her feet.  She went to school yesterday and pulled out my granddaughter and then came to the house last night, hooping and hollering and took all her stuff and my grandsons.  - I am praying that the children are okay.  I will pray that I will see them again someday and that my husband and I have instilled good values in them to make sure that they are successful adults. 

Count It Down With Me

May 06, 2008

Can you say, 14 more days?  It's only 2 weeks away and believe me I am more determined today than when I started this journey in August.  It seems the closer I get, the more obstacles I face.  I met with Dr. Kligman yesterday for my pre-op surgery appointment.  I had gained weight from when he first saw me in August.  He was not happy and he let me know.  Dr. K doesn't even have to say anything.  He's like your mother, with that look that could kill.  You know the look, when you were young and went to visit someone and you weren't doing what you were supposed to do and your mother looks over.  The look says everything:  I'm disappointed and you'd better not and you wait until you get home.  That's how I felt yesterday.  I am determined to stick to this plan.  I started with my liquid diet today.  I missed 3 questions on my "quiz."  Tricky, tricky ~ I think I just read them wrong.  Anyway, he went over the answers with me and I signed all the consent forms.  So I guess "I'm legal" now.  The next 2 weeks is going to go by so fast or so slow.  I'm going to try to treat everyday as a new adventure on the way to my new life.  I'm feeling all the things that other RNY'ers are:  nervous, anxious, scared, hungry, but most of all overwhelmed and excited by the upcoming adventure. 

About Me
Cambridge, MD
Location
28.1
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/20/2008
Surgery Date
Sep 04, 2007
Member Since

Friends 46

Latest Blog 26
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